It’s just my opinion, but I see a pattern going on with the posts. It appears to me that we are all in different stages of the “grief process”, or at least that’s my theory. Think about the posts and the stages of grief – denial, bargaining, anger, depression, & acceptance. Doesn’t it seem that the folks who just got diagnosed are in denial & bargaining (they want fast answers), the venters are in the anger/depression stage, and the researchers are in the acceptance stage? Just thought I would throw that out there for food for thought. I know I am personally grieving the loss of myself as I used to be and I go in and out of the different stages. We are all working towards the same goal – to heal ourselves and support each other. I think the conflicts arise because we each have different needs at different stages. Not to mention the brain fog and the speed at which the board moves. We all need each other so please no one leave – we need everyone! Below is an article I found on grief and loss that I thought was relevant to our situation. I left out parts about death, but the entire article can be found at caregiver dot org. Love, Sharon L Fact Sheet: Grief and Loss ©Family Caregiver Alliance Grief is a natural process, an intense fundamental emotion, a universal experience which makes us human. It is a process that entails extremely hard work over a period of many painful months or years. People grieve because they are deprived of a loved one; the sense of loss is profound. The loss of a spouse, child or parent affects our very identities--the way we define ourselves as a husband, wife, parent or offspring. Moreover, grief can arise from the survivor's sudden change in circumstances after a death and the fear of not knowing what lies ahead. Anticipatory Grief If someone has had a prolonged illness or serious memory impairment, family members may begin grieving the loss of the person's "former self" long before the time of death. This is sometimes referred to as "anticipatory grief." Anticipating the loss, knowing what is coming, can be just as painful as losing a life. Family members may experience guilt or shame for "wishing it were over" or seeing their loved one as already "gone" intellectually. It is important to recognize these feelings as normal. Ultimately, anticipatory grief is a way of allowing us to prepare emotionally for the inevitable. Preparing for the death of a loved one can allow family members to contemplate and clear unresolved issues and seek out the support of spiritual advisors, family and friends. And, depending on the impaired person's intellectual capacity, this can be a time to identify your loved one's wishes for burial and funeral arrangements. How Long Does Grieving Last? Grief impacts each individual differently. Recent research has shown that intense grieving lasts from three months to a year and many people continue experiencing profound grief for two years or more. Others' response to this extended grieving process may sometimes cause people to feel there is something wrong with them or they are behaving abnormally. This is not the case. The grieving process depends on the individual's belief system, religion, life experiences, and the type of loss suffered. Prolonged bereavement is not unusual. Many people find solace in seeking out other grievers or trusted friends. However, if feelings of being overwhelmed continue over time, professional support should be sought. Symptoms of Grief Grief can provoke both physical and emotional symptoms, as well as spiritual insights and turmoil. Physical symptoms include low energy or exhaustion, headaches or upset stomach. Some people will sleep excessively, others may find they are pushing themselves to extremes at work. These activity changes may make an individual more prone to illness. It is important to take care of yourself during this period of bereavement by maintaining a proper diet, exercise and rest. Taking care of your body can help heal the rest of you, even if you do not feel inclined to do so. Like grief itself, people's coping strategies vary. Some people cope best through quiet reflection, others seek exercise or other distractions. Some have a tendency to engage in reckless or self-destructive activities (e.g., excessive drinking). It is vital to obtain support in order to regain some sense of control and to work through your feelings. A trained counselor, support group, or trusted friend can help you sort through feelings such as anxiety, loss, anger, guilt, and sadness. Stages of Grief Often portrayed as a grief "wheel," these stages do not necessarily follow a set order. Some stages may be revisited many times as an individual goes through a grieving period. · Shock. · Emotional release. · Depression, loneliness and a sense of isolation. · Physical symptoms of distress. · Feelings of panic. · A sense of guilt. · Anger or rage. · Inability to return to usual activities. · The gradual regaining of hope. · Acceptance as we adjust our lives to reality.