post-op blues!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by cara, Dec 31, 2002.

  1. cara

    cara New Member

    I have only today just found this site and you all sound such wonderful people, my thoughts and prayers are with you all.

    I have had CFS and Dystonia for 15 years. I have been so ill but always remained positive and helped many people through letters, phone calls and poetry. I've had 14 published which I am so proud of.

    I was so desperate to try to move my life on that I decided to go ahead with a hysterectomy in October. I really thought this was going to be the answer to my prayers as I believed that all my symptoms were hormone-related. However I ended up in hospital for three weeks with a severe reaction to the epidural, bladder infections and infected blood clot.

    At this time I don't feel any different to what I did before undergoing the op which is so disappointing. Plus
    all the cfs and dystonia symptoms have exacerbated. However, if I try to do anything within a few hours I feel this awful sadness comes over me which I can only describe as being in the depths of despair and I just cannot stop crying. It is so embarrasing as I just cannot stop and the tears flow and flow. But the stupid thing is that I don't feel sad. I can cope with everything else but these awful feelings.

    I am already on a very low dose of seroxat and can't tolerate anymore due to side-effects. Its not a subject I can discuss with family as nobody really understands as I am always so in control and have coped with everything in the past. I am sure my son thinks I am indestructable!

    Is there anyone on here who ever feels like this? Or is it just the post-op blues?

    Wishing you all a very happy and healthy new year. Thank you all for your help. I feel like I have been guided here
  2. JP

    JP New Member

    grief. Welcome! Cara, I am so happy that you have found this forum. I can relate to your story big time, from the rush of tears to the stoic and in control persona feeling threatened by our health. It is tough to reach out when you have been so helpful to others with your compassion and actions. It is difficult to imagine that we can be loved as much as we love others. I hope these words are healing to your heart.

    I still do not share much of what I experience with anyone...some of it here, and some of it in my weekly visits to my chronic pain councilor.

    My similar experience, which I believe resembles yours, goes like this:

    I had a severe trauma to my right ankle. To make a very long story as short as possible, I suffered a great deal prior to my reconstruction and bone grafting five years after the trauma.

    I actually searched and searched for the right specialist who could handle the complications of my joint damage. I had this wonderful idea that if I had this repair, I could begin to walk for exercise again and the health of my spine would improve as a result.

    Well, I found the amazing surgeon and went to UCSF for my repair, with high hopes of gaining control of my chronic pain condition. I had the surgery and it was incredibly successful. My surgery was also a teaching opportunity for a room full of docs and my doc travels and teaches other docs about this type of injury and repair. I spent 6 months on my back, 3 of which was non-weight bearing. I was so dedicated to healing.

    Again, trying to shorten this story...I was able to walk some for exercise...I was so happy with the results (still am). I also began to notice that my back was actually worse and my health was declining. For months, tears would just flow when they flowed....had no control and I still have not control when my eyes weep. I was so hopeful that this repair would make the difference I needed to live an active life again. I am blessed by this repair and have gained increase mobility as a result...I just expected so much more at the time.

    I hope this story helps you feel less alone in your pain. Unfortunately, there are a lot of us out here. The good news, there is a lot of loving support as a result.

  3. karen55

    karen55 New Member

    When I had my hysterectomy, I went through something similar and "grief" would certainly be an accurate description of how I felt. Part of me was gone forever, it meant my childbearing ability no longer existed; no matter that I didn't want any more children, the fact that I couldn't did something to me emotionally.

    As for hormones, I have been taking injectible estrogen and androgen since my hysterectomy, but my hormone levels have never been checked. I will be seeing another doc soon and that's one of the workups I'm going to have. Specific hormone levels, as many here will tell you, will affect your entire body and produce certain symptoms.

    I hope you feel better soon! {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}} to you.

  4. allhart

    allhart New Member

    welcome to the board im sorry that your going threw so much right now,
    i just wanted to say hi and send hugs from one kara to anthor
    ps can you please fill out your profile so we can learn more about you,im realy nosie[This Message was Edited on 01/01/2003]