Posting To Release. My Therapy.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by joeb7th, Nov 28, 2006.

  1. joeb7th

    joeb7th New Member

    It's selfish...I know. I do it about once every two weeks.

    But I need to just post to get out some of my pain and frustration.

    Last 2 months intestinal pain, sick feelings much worse.

    Had fecal tests. Apparently normal like so many other tests.

    Thanksgiving was perfect example for me.

    I woke up feeling so sick...like it was running through my veins..some nausea, but feeling sick all through body and into neck. Sick feeling is so intense it's mind blocking.

    Moaned for hours...so weak at times feel like I could faint. Staggering around, almost crying...and I'm an old guy.


    Only pain is a soreness in upper stomach area mostly. Sick feeling all over though that just doesn't leave. When I have these...the pain and sick feeling is there for 24 hours! Talk about making you depressed! Toss and turn all night with maybe 2 to 3 hours of sleep.

    Next day 30 to 40% improvement...then next day after that right back to this sick feeling that is so bad I have to hang on to doors. I took myself to the ER for the 15th time this last year during the worst of this second day attack.

    Got seen relatively quickly ( couldn't believe it ) and this new doc was calm and listened and I appreciated this so much. He got a blood sample, and put the stickers on for EKG. Guess this came out OK. Put me on saline IV. Gave me small dose of Atavan. Then, actually got me a lower CT scan.

    Said he saw some noticeable Diverticulitis which I already knew I had....and he thought I was having GERD. Recommended Prilosec or Probiotics.

    Then after 4 hours I went home. Kind of better next day... then sure enough... yesterday went into this same attack feeling of so sick I could die. I tell docs now it feels like I am being poisoned. truly, this is what it feels like.

    And down my throat and into my lungs it's always bone dry with every breath coming in cold and dry. Neck area below jaws feels tight, swollen, slightly choking and have a slight metallic taste although this taste thing might be my imagination. ( I doubt myself 10 times more now after this last year about everything. I know my tired and anxious state does play tricks on my thinking. Not ready for straight jacket but exhaustion and pain and anxiety can work your mind over. And mix in anger and loss of patience and humiliation at treatment by doctors at times also. You fight to keep rational.)

    Yesterday was so bad I drove to my new doctors office at end of day. No one was there and I asked if there was a chance the doc could see me. They said no. He was there but I didn't have an appointment.

    His nurse, who is very nice, came out and held my wrist to check my pulse and I could barely tell her how sick I was feeling. This has taken so mcuh out of me in last weeks I don't even speak with energy. But, man, I was feeling so sick, I told her I felt like I could just keel over. I was so so sick. Again, like I was being poisoned.

    She said to go back to the hospital, that my new doc DID NOT have privileges there...but to admit myself as a psych patient. I told her that as bad as I felt I still will not lie and say I am suicidal or homicidal to get care. I don't feel that way, number one...and I do not trust that if I do lie and get in this way that someone down the road will see this type of admittance in my record. And I am not trusting enough of society to believe that they still don't hold this against you.

    Also, you may ask if I immediately went out and got prilosec or probiotics. I was too sick to go. And I'm broke. So I haven't gotten any. And also, I want a GI doc to actually go into my upper stomach area and give me this diagnosis conclusively.

    I do have a couple of nexiums from long ago. And I have to get over my fear of taking anything new when I am at home alone. So, here I sit, sicker than ever ( this last episode is going into a 2nd day and these are getting more frequent and intense.)

    I am thinking of driving to the county hospital 35 to 40 miles away and asking them if they can get me an endoscopy like NOW. I need to know exactly what is happening down there. I will take all the medicine they want me to when I hear a GI doc say what he or she actually sees going on down there. ER docs can be good but they are not specialists and they always cover themselves by saying they "think" you may have this or that. That it is a speculation based on what exams they do that day. But wouldn't it be so simple to go in with an endoscopy?

    But tests like this take weeks to schedule...and I feel like I am dying...RIGHT NOW!
    Thanks board for letting me vent.


    [This Message was Edited on 11/28/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 11/28/2006]