Prayer to Get to Church on Time No Wedding Bells :)

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by elastigirl, Mar 23, 2006.

  1. elastigirl

    elastigirl New Member

    I joined a new church lately, and I have to say, it scared the wits out of me.

    First of all, I'll back up a little bit. When I was a girl, I was raised in a religion that taught me to shun all people who were not of my religion. To believe they would not go to heaven.

    I never bought that. I left when I was old enough to leave.

    When I moved to our new town, I prayed for God to guide us to our 'right' church. The first church I went to, I was instructed to shun all people who were not of my religion. To believe they would not go to heaven.

    I left confused and convinced this was probably the wrong church. Had God led me astray? Or did I just follow my own faulty logic?

    For a long time, I did not go to church at all. I was also afraid of meeting men. Men have hurt me a lot in life. To go to church can mean to be targeted by men who are looking for wives in their faith.

    So I was scared. But then a woman, a woman I thought was trying to be my friend, kept encouraging me to go to this certain church.

    The first Sunday I went (and I went, I admit, primarily for my son, so he could be in Sunday school with his best friend from preschool,) I was denied three times about being her friend. Twice she corrected people introducing her as my friend, explaining that, no, I was the mother of her son's best friend.

    During church, the Pastor introduced me as her friend, and her son shouted out, "She's not her friend! She's A's best friend's mom!"

    I was really shocked, but in a way, not upset. Instead of feeling aggressive and angry at the church, I instead felt, for whatever reason, she apparently doesn't want to be considered my friend -- yet? Maybe she doesn't know me well enough yet. But I'll give this church a chance.

    So I've attended twice now, the second time neither snubbing her or following her around. I wanted to give everyone else a chance.

    Yes, I ran into single men. In one, the desperation was pouring from his body. But I thought, no, I'll ignore this. I just want to give the CHURCH a chance.

    I really like it! In fact, a lot of people I know attend, and they are inter-faith friendly, meaning they welcome and associate with people of all faith, while not quite being as generic (sorry!) as the non-denominational churches can.

    However, I'm still scared to attend. Something inside of me is resisting. I'm afraid to have people 'expecting' me. I'm afraid of explaining non-attendence do to my illness (CFS/FM). I'm afraid to speak at all of the CFS/FM.

    Tonight is the last night they'll have a special guest speaker. He gave a preview last Sunday, and I really want to see him! But my body has gone into an exhaustion flare -- I'm really afraid to go and don't know why?!?

    I think my son would really, really enjoy this session. Will you say a prayer for us? If for any reason, I still cannot get the strength to go tonight, we are still seeking strength and health to attend the next Sunday on the calendar.

    Thank you.

    [This Message was Edited on 03/23/2006]
    [This Message was Edited on 03/23/2006]
  2. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I was raised in the Catholic Church growing up and I was taught it was the only right church. I now have a broader view on things, and feel that God doesn`t favor one church over another. Go to a church where you feel at home and can get something out of it.

    The one your at seems to make you pretty uncomfortable. Maybe its just not the right one for you. I too feel very uncomfortable about my illness and trying to explain it to others. I haven`t gone to church much this year because I have been feeling to tough. I pray and meditate every day at home though. I feel very close to God.

    I will be sending prayers up for you. I hope you find a great church your at home in with a wonderful congregation.

    Take care,
  3. elastigirl

    elastigirl New Member

    Hi Sandy,

    Actually, I really like the church, and my son loves it. I think my fears are fears I would have at any church.

    I'm just so shy about my illnesses. Even though I've gotten to the point where I can talk about them with family and friends, it's hard for me to discuss them with strangers.

    Maybe I'm more in need of prayers to deal with my fears than with attendence :).
  4. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I know what you mean. I have anxiety just talking to people because when the brain fog is bad, its hard to have a conversation with anyone. Then if I tell people what I have, they don`t understand and usually say something that makes me feel worse. I have one lady at church that has a friend that has Fm pretty bad so she gets it. She is about the only one.

    Anyway, I will pray for relief of the anxiety and fear. I pray that you find some wonderful, understanding new friends there.

    [This Message was Edited on 03/24/2006]