Prayer Urgently Needed

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by DocMarc, Aug 10, 2003.

  1. DocMarc

    DocMarc New Member

    This is going to be a long post, but I need to explain my situation in some detail. For those that have been active on these message boards for over 18 months, I was the dentist whose initial posting essentially said that I had reached my breaking point and was contemplating suicide. Within 24 hours I received 17 replies to my cry for help. Since then, the flare that I was in finally subsided, and I had a fairly long period of better sleep and less pain. I'm in another major flare right now (cause unknown), but that's NOT why I am posting this message. My younger son, who some of you might remember was awarded a total of $84,00 in academic aid after finishing #6 in his class in high school, spent this summer as a camp counselor at a Salvation Army Camp just north of Baltimore. Everything was going well, and my son had just one more week to work, and two more weeks before returning to college for his sophomore year, when tragedy struck on Friday. My son and three other couselors took a group of about 25 boys on a wilderness hike that ended in the woods adjacent to one of the reservoirs which provides drinking water to the city of Baltimore. While most of the children were eating lunch, about ten of the boys decided to go swimming in the reservoir. Two of the boys were about 40 yards from shore when one of them apparently developed cramps, and began to struggle. His friend, who weighs about 60 pounds less than the boy who was struggling, screamed for help while trying , unsuccessfully, to keep his friend above the surface of the water. My son, who was the counselor closest to the children, dove into the water, swam out to the point at which the drowning child was last seen, and dove repeatedly into the frigid water to try and rescue the boy. The bottom line is that the child sank to the bottom of the reservoir and died; and it took professional divers two days to find the body. The chld that died had a horrible life. He was abandoned by both parents, and was raised for a brief period by his grandparents, who both died. He has been is a state-run home for the last seven years, and for the last three years had been attending this camp. He was an advanced swimmer, so we just don't know precisely what caused him to drown. I would like prayers to be offered for this boy. I would also like prayers to be offered for my son, that this incident, for which he feels responsible, but which in actuality was a tragic accident that he in no way could prevent, will not ruin him for the rest of his life. He is a very caring and sensitive person, and I'm desperately afraid that this incident will leave a permanent and horrible scar. The television coverage of this tragedy has just been brutal, and my son saw a fair amount of it, despite our attempts to shield him from it. And to show you how people are, since this boy died, all of a suddent there are dozens of people who claim to be his parents, grandparents, and assorted cousins, uncles, and aunts. About the only good thing that has happened since Friday is that the police, after interviewing the counselors, declined to press criminal charges. Thanks for reading!
  2. petfriend

    petfriend New Member

    DocMarc:
    I am so sorry to hear of the tragedy involving this young boy. I will remember him in my prayers and you and your son also.
    I'd advise lots of love and attention for your boy right now. See that he gets counselling if needed and don't let it grow into a full blown problem for him. This was a terrible accident that was no one's fault. Everyone involved probably feels guilt of some kind and wishes they had done things differently, but it's past now and life must go on.
    Bless you and your son and my thoughts are with you.
    Irene
  3. Iggy_RN

    Iggy_RN New Member

    I will keep this situation in prayer for you and your boy. What a tragedy indeed... Keep in prayer and God's blessings, Iggy
  4. HURTSALOT2

    HURTSALOT2 New Member

    And it is so sad that people are now claiming to be related to this boy. Where were they when he needed them. So, so sad. I will pray for the boy, your son and you. Be there for your son because he will need your love and understanding. I wish you both well. Take care.
    HURTSALOT2
  5. annetteg1969

    annetteg1969 New Member

    Sending a prayer your way for your son and the child.My heart goes out to you all Hang in there!!!!
  6. Jana1

    Jana1 New Member

    Dr Marc, Your message caught my interest as my husband is a dentist. I read along and was caught in the sadness of your story. We have 3 sons and I know the heartbreak when you can not shield them from hard things. Your son must be a good human being, as he spent much of his time helping others. He is intelligent, too, from the scholarship news. I believe that when the shock of this tragedy has worn off, he will be able to reason and know he was in no way to blame.

    In the meantime, I know this has brought on your pain sharply. I have FM and when it is at its worst I can not figure out what in the world I have done to deserve this. Then, I think more and my reason tells me no one deserves pain, it is just life...and the rain on the just and injust alike. Instead of asking, why me? I must ask, why not me? and use this FM in some way to make me kinder, more caring and loving. Your story touched me, I am with you...Jana
  7. Dara

    Dara New Member

    and the young boy who lost his life. I would think that counseling would be a good idea for your Son, it is normal to feel guilt when a person dies, even though there is no reason for guilt in this case. We always do the "could have, should have" thing, and yet there was nothing he could have done to prevent it. Please give my regard to your Son and let him know he has people who are praying for him and the child who drowned.

    I worked at a treatment center for children, these were kids who, like the one you described, had no family to take care of them, or wanted them, it was so very sad. If your Son has the compassion that it sounds like he probably does, then the circumstances of the young boys life probably makes it even worse for him.

    Take care of your Son's emotional needs, and your own and know that there will be many people thinking of all of you and praying for you.

    Dara
  8. LeLeHpr

    LeLeHpr New Member

    I will be praying for you and your family as you go through the many bumpy road a head. Be blessed and keep your head up.
  9. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Prayers going up.

    Why don't you copy and past this onto the Worship Forum. We have some might prayer warriors over there who will pray for you, especially Thurs. night which is prayer night.

    I am so sorry about this tragedy. It's a lot for someone so young to have to bear. If he places his faith in God, God will get him through it.

    Love, Mikie
  10. babyjoan

    babyjoan New Member

    Your son as well as you and yours are in my prayers. Prayers are the most important thing anyone can do with a tragedy such as this. My heart goes out to your son. I pray for his strength, he needs to remember is was an accident. I know that this doesn't change how he feels though. Again I am so sorry.
    Joan
  11. RedB

    RedB New Member

    The fact that he even took on a summer position as that type of counselor gives insight into the kind person he must be.

    Please tell him that we are thinking of the boy, and of him.

    It sounds to me as if the boys were old enough to be swimming alone, with moderate supervision. It also sounds to me as if the counselors did their jobs, and your son went the distance, and then some.

    Please tell him:

    We are all here on this good earth a short time, some shorter than others. If one looks back through history, you come to realize that we are just small specks in the history of mankind. People live, and people die, but the earth just keeps on turning. Each of us is put here to live our lives in the best way that we can, and it should be obvious to your son that he is doing things the right way. What happened to the young boy was just another story in the history of things, and moving heaven and earth was likely not to change the outcome.

    Please tell him, from another parent, that those of us fortunate enough to have children like him simply burst with pride at every step they take, even if the steps don't always turn out for the best. Life sometimes deals us blows, but it is how we receive these blows that shapes us.

    Tell him, please, for me, to mourn, but to live. Life is a great gift given to each of us, and we must do with it what we can for the short time that we have it.

    Love from Kathy
  12. IntuneJune

    IntuneJune New Member

    For all involved, Dad, prayers sent. Fondly, June
  13. Lana56

    Lana56 New Member

    DocMarc,
    I am so sorry for all that has happened.My thoughts and prayers are with your son and everyone involved.Just love him and support him and may he know in his heart that he did everything he could to help.Take care and God Bless You
    Lana56







  14. IacheIache

    IacheIache New Member

    Prayers are with You, Your son, and the child.
    You will make it thru it with Gods help.
    Hugs,
    ~Thea~
  15. stillafreemind

    stillafreemind New Member

    I am sorry for this whole accident..and I have said prayers for all three of you.
    I think that the media and we as a society have forgotten that word accident. There are simply times when things happen that have no fault attached..sometimes no reason..they are in deed accidents.
    I hope that your son will see that this boy is finally home..where he is much loved and much wanted. And the little guy knows how hard your son tried to save him. I believe this in my heart.
    May the Lord bless and keep, you and yours. Sherry
  16. kimkane

    kimkane New Member

    my thoughts and prayers go out to your son. my god give him the strength and courage to get thru this horrible
    "ACCIDENT" he did all that he could do. this i know is very hard. 4 yrs ago i lost my 1st born at the age of 19,
    he was driving and hit black ice and hit a tree, was killed instantly. i went thru so much guilt, i thought it was going to kill me. i would fall asleep crying and wake up crying, for years. then i put my trust in the lord, i would pray almost constantly, i will never get over it, i just have to learn to live with it. god needs my son more than i. we do-not know of gods big plan, i know it's hard but..things do happen for a reason. i will pray for my son and my mother to be there for the child. please give your son a big hug from me, love and prayers kim
  17. DocMarc

    DocMarc New Member

    I just read all the posts to my message of last night and want to sincerely thank each and every one of you for taking the time to read and reply to my post. When I was active on the messsage boards about 18-24 months ago, I found the support of the group to be literally life-saving; and this time I found the posts to be very comforting. I almost feel that if this tragedy had to happen, it was best that it happened to someone like my son---a bright, sensitive young man with tons of friends and a centered moral base. The people at the Salvation Army think so much of my son that they have already asked him to return next summer and take up his duties as counselor. Of course, he may not want to do so, but it will give you some idea of his character that the offer was made. Again, thanks to all, and I will keep you informed of the situation. In closing, despite all my medical problems, and they include many outside the purview of this site, I've never hated anyone in my life---other than myself at times. But I have developed a strong and instant hate for the television media in Baltimore---their irresponsible, inaccurate, and hurtful reporting of this incident has done more harm to my son and my family than everything else put together. Thanks once again. Marc
  18. LBV

    LBV New Member

    Dear Doc,
    Prayers now and for much time to come. Please consider counseling as survivor guilt is a funny thing. Hang in there on the news, hopefullly the next big news story will come and yours will be put aside, (one reason we watch minimal news). And lastly but most importantly, no matter this child's life in the past, remind your son that perhaps for once in this child's life he was truly living. Enjoying our beautiful outdoors, friendship, and many other things, (if you asked him to share what they did while they hiked). If this child was a good swimmer, was it because he loved to swim? Then he was living life by doing so, not sitting on the sideline, wishing he could have or would have. Remind your son that he was a part of this child's life that made a difference! Ask him to tell you all the good things about this child. And tell him this child is not truly gone, he merely now knows an angel by his name.

    I hope this helps!
    Love
    Kimberly

    ps. Don't let him fall into the its my fault. We do not have the power to decide who lives and who dies. Remember, that is a God thing.
  19. Takesha

    Takesha New Member

    I am so very sorry this has happened. I am speechless and don't have anything to say except that I am sorry. I do know how to pray however, so that is what I am going to do. I believe that God can turn that which is intended for evil into something good. My prayers are with you.
    Takesha
  20. marushka80

    marushka80 New Member

    Please know that you and your son are in my heart, thoughts and prayers. It is so very difficult for us to understand why tragedies such as this happen. I hope your son understands that he should not berate himself for what he was unable to do, but rather credit himself for the attempts he made. He did a brave and noble thing and should be proud that when he was needed he made every attempt to save the child. Hugs to both of you.