Prayers needed for my family and myself-separation about to

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by griswoldgirl, Jul 1, 2002.

  1. griswoldgirl

    griswoldgirl New Member

    happen this saturday- steve is off to Oklahoma for a contract job and plans on staying away until he can find my husband again-long story for those who have read my other posts you know what I am talking about. i have apost on chit chat too that expresses how I feel right now.

    I am a ball of crazy mixed up emotions of fear, lack of faith, relief, independence, dependance, pain adn smiles all at the same time-this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. i sometimes just want to file for divorce and not even give him yet another chance, but deep down inside of him was a man I loved so dearly at one time. I still love him and tell him that every time we talk. I am not looking forward to the goodbye on saturday at all. i am trying to be loving and letting him go in peace to work on himself-get out of the deep dark hole he has lived in for years now.

    From staying with him I was becoming someone I did not want to be anymore and the yellling and anger he has 24/7 is not healthy for the kids or me. I actually wonder if by removing the stress I will heal better. But still it is hard to let go of your partner, with love and hope he will find what he needs and really, i mean really find god. he is a born again christian which is a far cry from the agnostic jewish man I married-but he is so tormented by the ghosts in his closet from childhood etc-has never really worked through an awful lot of baggage-we both brought so much into the marriage years ago.

    Pray for strength for all of us and god's healing hand on myu daughter who also fights depression and fms-my son who is 8 and wants his daddy back adn me-confused and a ball of emotions from one end to the other.

    thanks

    god bless

    cathy

  2. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    I will be in prayer for you and your family, especially your husband. He seems to be the key to all the problems you just presented here.

    My husband went thorough the transition from another belief, to a born again Christian, but he was not a 'practicing' Christian!(I am not talking about church, he was there almost everyday).

    The baggage from his childhood was not dealt with by him, and we fought about everything and anything including the Bible itself.

    He got a job that took him away from home for periods of time, and low and behold, the Lord finally got through to him. This took years, if it had not been for the fact that I was a Christian, I would have left him years ago.
    Somehow the Lord Himself keep us together through it all (it was not the children, they are mine, not his).

    When I met him, he drank, did social drugs etc, but it was all gone when we married and he accepted Christ as his Savior, he even quit smoking. But those demons from his childhood keep haunting him for years, he just couldn't shake them or wouldn't give them to Christ and move on.

    I can't pin point exactly when he finally did give it up, but now I could not fine a better husband, partner, friend, and someone who supports me to the max.

    There is a lot that happened to him as a child that he does not tell me or anyone, and now and them he will get ugly again (not physical, just vocal!), and other times he will talk about some of the things that were done to him when he was a child.

    What I am trying to say here, is that sometimes we need to go into the 'desert' to hear the voice of the Lord, and have our soul cleansed, and do the forgiving we need to do. The 'forgiving' those who hurt us, is sometimes harder to give up than it is to forgive ourselves.

    Lets pray that your husband does this too. Thats what it sounds like he needs, but all we can do for them is quietly pray, they have to deal with there demons alone, with the Lord. It seems the more we say about it the worst they react to us and themselves. They just get more rebellious.

    I will be praying for you whole family. I usually don't tell this story, as it is very personal, but I feel the Lord has prompted this reply.

    By the way, my husband and I will be married 30 years this September.

    In His Name,
    Shalom, Shirl
  3. deecrossett

    deecrossett New Member

    Cathy, my heart cries for you. When you are ill to begin with, things tend to accumulate, like moss on a rolling stone. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I pray that your husband finds the Light of Jesus Christ and follows Him to peace. Whatever is troubling your husband is the uppermost thing in his mind, which isn't fair to you and your family. Try to relax, pray and take things one day at a time. Blessings, Deena
  4. griswoldgirl

    griswoldgirl New Member

    hopefully we will se our 30th one day. Only god knows what is in store for the future at the moment. I sure don't.

    again thank you, I know that was a personal story and I appreciate you shring it with me. It sounds very similar to what is happening to my husband.

    cathy