Prayers needed

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Msdeana, Jan 15, 2008.

  1. Msdeana

    Msdeana New Member

    It seems like every turn I make since the day I got that dreaded "unfavorable" letter, I get a negative result. The more I read in that dang letter, the more upset I become and I cry again…even when I just think about it.

    A lot of the stuff mentioned in the letter is not true; like the part that says I came to TN just so I would have a better chance of getting benefits. WRONG, I came here to help my sister whose hubby was dying, and when I called to have hubby come get me, he told me to keep my fat butt in TN. And one mental health place had me sitting at my computer all day doing emails, reading and even going shopping with friends and family—well if I could do all that DUH I’d still be working.

    They didn’t even accept the original diagnosis, from a rheumy as they said since my advocate filled another time, not an appeal the original one don’t count, as it wasn’t in TN. But yet they took documentation from doctors’ way back in 98 and I started seeing my Rheumy in 2000.

    I talked with a lawyer Monday, and that helped some, but I won’t know what we can do until he reviews everything. In the back of my mind, I still have this dreaded feeling that I have done a little bit too late and not enough when needed, or should say my lawyer/advocate didn’t!

    I called my lawyer again Tuesday, as he requested, to make sure he got the fax about my SSDI decision from my advocate. He told me the decision letter, sounded as if the judge didn't want me to ever get SSDI. He pretty well said, there if proof that I am improving and can work. HUM, someone should of told me that because I cannot work, I got fired twice now, once in Illinois after a 20 plus yrs in nursing and once here in TN, because I missing too much work due to health reasons. However, He is going to review everything and see what we can do, but told me truthfully, it didn't look good.

    One problem I noted was that the place I go for therapy, documented the only reason I was seeing them was because I needed to, in order to get disability. I was told by my advocate that I needed to go there for a psychological evaluation, and then I also went there because my depression was out of control because I had too many things go wrong in my life.

    I did feel optimistic after the phone call though...until I called my advocate to update her. She and the lawyer are working together, or so I thought. She lowered the boom saying she was dropping my case and letting the lawyer handle it. Because she didn't even think I had grounds for SSDI or needed to file an appeal. I told her to file my appeal, because it was my decision to make and not hers at all and she shouldn't be judgmental...she didn't like what I said but who cares, it’s my life my disability and not hers.

    HOW DARE HER, she doesn't even take time to ask questions to clarify thing, nor does she stick up for her clients in court. If the case involved work, she won't do it. I just pray she didn't cost me, my chance to get SSDI.

    I will keep you all posted and try and remain calm. Thank heavens hubby is a great support and my faith is strong. Please pray that I don’t fall apart, have a complete nervous breakdown and can follow this thing all the way through.


  2. Msdeana

    Msdeana New Member

    I'm not sure I can hang in there, keep calm, and remain sane. I just found out that my advocate did not do her job. I have been asking her, ever since 2005 if I need a rheumy down here and things like that. Mainly because we filed the whole thing a second time, at her request with my depression, anxiety disorder as the main one and FMS secondary.

    She kept telling the original diagnosis from Illinois Rheumy would be fine and since I was already going to a therapist, I had all I needed.

    WRONG!!! I was seeing a therapist because my depression was out of control! NOW the SSDI judge said it was because she told me to go.....GRR! And I needed a rheumy down here because the one from Illinois is too old, and not accepted with second application.

    I wanted to continue to appeal the first application and since I do not know what I am doing, took her damn advice.

    Sure I appealed it, but think and was told by here it wont do any good as quote, I'm not sick enough for SSDI, I need to get off my lazy @## and get a job.

    If I could I would, NOW I'm loosing, and have no time left...as my last date to qualify was July 2006.

    NOW what do I do, sure I'm now covered through champva a medical program for spouses of disabled vets, but it don't cover Rheumy's or even FMS or CFS.

    I’m just about ready to throw in the towel and say to hell with it all. I have no more to give, and feel like I am heading for a complete breakdown.

  3. Msdeana

    Msdeana New Member

    I'm better today, even though my pain is mocking me, I am for the moment ignoring it. I have a good friend I can call and pray with when I feel as bad as I did yesterday.

    Hopefully things will all work out, if not, I will deal with it, and my life will go on.

    Huggers Deana