Praying 2 go 2 church this A.M.

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by aintasgoodasIoncewas, Feb 21, 2009.

  1. Hello all,

    I realize that title may sound odd.. or not, to some, who, like me.. pray to God in their minds, *hoping* for the health, to be able to even *get* to church...

    I know a lot of us are very very ill, some bedbound, some housebound, some are in between, and some are able to 'go and do' but, pay a hefty price for it.

    For the most part, I am housebound, a lot of time, in winter, I am bedbound as well. Year-round, I am confined to home, at least 85% of the time.

    I suppose, if you go by the 365 days in a year, I am housebound about 97% probably. I leave for doctor appointments, *some* holidays, and very rarely, I get to Wal-Mart, or some other store (goodwill is my fave! lol), or Kohl's.. etc.

    I remember years ago, after I was bedbound for over a year and a half, when my illness began, and I vomited every waking moment, and was so dehydrated, my gait was that of a 90 year old woman, just to go to the bathroom. My husband had to bathe me at times, and my poor mother, at 52,53 years of age, would be in my bathroom, blow-drying my hair, before taking me to a doctors appointment, while I sat there, with my head in a trashcan.

    Then, in May of 2002, I remember telling my mom, & pointing out to everyone, that it was the first month I made it without vomiting one time! (ohh my, how widely our victories can range sometimes!)..

    Anyhow, From about April 2002-August 2002, I finally had a 'remission'... I could go places again. Sometimes, it was fishing with my husband, sometimes, it was an attempt, but, failure..

    Sometimes, it was being able to go to his family's, for a lunch, or dinner, & to visit... even if we had to leave "early" (his family considers it 'normal' for you to be out there sometimes, *usually*, even... for 4-7 hours!!!).

    I always had to 'nap' (sometimes, the rest of the day/night), but, it felt SO great, just to DO *anything*...

    I had those 'remissions', about 3 years, April-August, as long as I avoided severe humidity/direct sun.

    I don't really have remissions anymore. :-(

    Anyways.. I'm getting long winded again- it's often due to just constant fatigue.

    Here's my point- hubby works nights, (nearly impossible to get day shift there).. I've been on a "night shift" schedule, since I graduated high school 13 yrs ago... I have no sleep schedule, never can get one, and keep it.

    Anyhow, I'm constantly "talking to God" in my *head*.. and, I always, always, throughout the week, and the weekend, "hope" that by *SOME* chance, I can make it to church that sunday.

    This happens at BEST, 3 times a year, I'm sad to say. I'm just normally falling asleep between 4-9 A.M. no matter how 'early' I go to bed, how much I plan, how much melatonin I take...

    So- (I'm ill right now, and had an abcessed molar pulled Thursday) yesterday (Saturday) I had not slept, until about 9 in the morning, & slept ("broken sleep") throughout the day, off & on.

    I woke up the last time, at 7pm. Hubby & I spent time together, until about...2:30 AM... as tired as I was, though... I told him, "I think I'll just go ahead & stay up, & try to go to church tomorrow"...

    I asked if he was ok with that, if he'd want to try & go... I was a little hurt by his delayed, & flat response, he wished I'd said something 'sooner'... but, said yea, he 'guessed' :-(

    I told him he normally goes to bed around 3 or so anyhow, during the week- and got up at 9am, pretty religiously, no matter what, anyways (with a few exceptions, lately)... and church doesn't start until 10:30 anyhow.... (men take 5 minutes to get ready, lol).. so he could sleep until 9:30 really..

    So, anyhow, it's 6AM now, I have bathwater waiting... I am very tired, and moreso in pain... but, I am trying with ALL MY MIGHT, to get through this, because it is so important to me to get to church...

    I'm praying I can do it... I have tried before, only to get physically ill by 7:30, 8, 8:30, etc.

    I pray that I can make it this morning. Church *services* are not that long, and then I can rest.

    I know it seems so sad, especially to the 'outside world' that, I get such a 'lift' if I get to church...but, to *me* it gives me a great sense of accomplishment, and if it's all i got done that weekend... it means more to me then if I had been able to clean, or visit someone, etc.



    Love all,

    Laura
  2. I tell you... church, is MY anti-depressant. Works far far better than any medication, supplement, or any other outside event I could attend,

    Even if it is the only thing I accomplish in MONTHS, going to church, is an instant anti-depressant for me.

    I'm so happy right now.

    I will be attending Monday night services, whenever possible, I am so thrilled, that they have* evening services now. That is something I constantly said "I wish...." with me & hubby being on such crazy night shift schedules.. I wished for it for years, and now, I have gotten my wish... and now it is my duty to God, to attend, whenever physically possible. With or without make up, hair done, etc.!!!

    I am off to have a 'day' out with hubby, as best we can, just some light browsing around town,

    Take care all!

    Laura
  3. Doznclan3

    Doznclan3 New Member


    Sounds like we have similar problems with the sleeping problem. I usually get to bed late. And, my husband also works swing. He gets home around 2:30, gets up at 9:30. He has worked swing for years and loves it.
    Bless your heart for trying to get to church. Good for you. You will have to let us know if you made it. If we don't hear back from you until later tonight, we'll certainly understand. I've heard that I was one of the lucky ones that can get around as well as I do. Last Sunday was pretty bad, I could hardly walk, my legs were like rubber bands, but I made it to church holding on to my hubby. I'm better this weekend. Sometimes I also just have to push myself to do things, I'm sure most of us here have. At least we are trying, right? :)
    Have a good day. Rest up. Take Care.
    Love, Cynthia
  4. Doznclan3

    Doznclan3 New Member


    Isn't hearing the word of God exhilerating?? Uplifting? Gives us a peaceful set of mind at the same time.
    Have a great day!! Happy, happy, happy, for you!
    Love, Cynthia