Pregnancy and FM. How do you feel about it,?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by PrincessofYoga, Jul 25, 2003.

  1. PrincessofYoga

    PrincessofYoga New Member

    Hi all,

    I have put in a search and am still looking through them but thought I would ask some opinions here.

    I have FM. I still work, part time, and want children BAD. Could you please answer....

    Would you still want to have babies on your own (carry him/her yourself), even with FM, when there is a slight chance that it is genetic?
  2. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    If you will go to the 'Search Messages' this subject has been addressed many times here. You will get some very good imput.

    Shalom, Shirl
  3. PrincessofYoga

    PrincessofYoga New Member

    I did Shirl....but i didnt see just the feelings on if someone would not have a baby because of the risks of passing it to their child. I will keep looking of course, but thought since there are some fresh people here I could get a fresh outlook.

    Thanks!!
  4. atrinigyal29

    atrinigyal29 New Member

    I've been struggling with that dilemma for some time now. I think it's genetic because both my aunt and cousin have FM too. I am still single but have always wanted to have children and raise a family, but, at the same time, I wouldn't wish this DD on my worst enemy, far less for my own children. So I too have been indecisive as to whether I should have children or not. This is such a struggle for me right now and I get so depressed just thinking about it. I also think about whether I would be well enough to take care of my children. I am now coming to terms with the fact that I have FM, and it hurts my heart for me to say this, but I don't think I will have children, unless there is a cure for it. I say this at present, but I don't know whether I will change my mind in the future. It's a very difficult decision to make, that's for sure. Do what you think would be in your best interests as well as in the best interests of your children. I wish you all the best.
    Alicia
    [This Message was Edited on 07/25/2003]
  5. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    Princess, I thought you meant a web-search! I hope you get the answers you are looking for.

    Shalom, Shirl
  6. CdnGirl

    CdnGirl New Member

    Hello Princessof Yoga!

    I posted a question a couple of weeks ago about being pregnant and recovering from pregnancy. What I can tell you, whick is my opinion only, is NO ONE in my family tree has FM therefore I do not think it is genetic. My rhuemy clearly explained it to me that it has to do with the central nervous system and stress and/or viruses will trigger it. Maybe there is a gene in us that goes astray when we live too long under stress.

    Back to pregnancy, I have 2 young children and they get me through the flare ups if not even minimize them because they keep me active. Staying active is a big part of beating FM. I say if you can apply the "mind of matter" theory, you should be able to enjoy a life with kids.

    GO FOR IT!

    Kelly
  7. PrincessofYoga

    PrincessofYoga New Member

    Thank you so much for your words. I thought the same about not having them, afraid that I will pass this horrible DD to my most precious commodity. I was with my best friend last night as she had her second and I cried and cried. I know I have always wanted to be a mom and thought that I would be okay with not, (or adopting) since I have this and its not curable, but after last night, I have been really struggling with it again. No one in my family has this either...so , go figure.

    I will be doing alot of soul searching here soon. I just turned 33 so I have a little time, but not alot. My fiance had a vasectomy to so there is another obsticle. But, you do what you want if you really want it right.

    I would love to hear more input...thanks so much guys! And my luck to you and your heart Alicia. And Kelly, thank you for being optimistic like me. Wonderful thoughts, being distracted from pain by your sweet babies. :0)

    Thanks Shirl. You always come through!

    Li
  8. scottabir

    scottabir New Member

    this is such a tough issue. Just this past February the subject of children rose up in my marriage. At first I said no way. I didn't want to take the chance of my children having to live like I have since I was 14. At that point we decided that if we do have any we will have only one child. I think I will be able to handle the stress of one child much better than two or more. Also we decided we were going to wait until January 2004 to start trying. The reason we are waiting is so that I can give myself this year to try and get as healthy as possible. The funny thing is I am starting to feel "normal" again. I have a chiropractor who has been helping me along the way and has been great support. He knows I want to have a baby and he too suggested that any woman who decided to have a baby should wait a year, giving her time to correct her diet and health to her best ability. I am six months away from my goal of trying to conceive and I am feeling much better. I now don't have the fear of not being able to take care of my child.

    I guess what I am saying is don't let this DD take away any of your dreams. Try to become as healthy as you possibly can. Start taking extra Folic Acid and changing your diet (if need be). Even if you decide not to have kids you should do this because of the DD. I used to think Fm was genetic but I have changed my mind. My Mom and I both have FM yet my siblings don't. However, My Mom and I both were under tons of stress as children and we both had terrible diets at some point in our lives. I have gained control over the stress in my life and my Mom hasn't. I feel this is what ultimatley has changed the way I feel. My Mom stills feels ill all the time. Yet all the time she is telling my about her "latest" stress. If you can control your stress than a baby might be a bad idea.

    Good luck on your decision.
    Abi
  9. atrinigyal29

    atrinigyal29 New Member

    You just brought me to tears, Princess. I am so sorry that you have to go through this pain too. Thank you for your kind words. That's great that you are so optimistic. Once again, good luck and I wish you the best, whatever your decision may be. Good luck to you too, Abi :)
    Alicia
  10. PrincessofYoga

    PrincessofYoga New Member

    Well, I will agree with you on many points. It is wonderful that you have this great attitude. I too am feeling much better. I have also been seeing a chiro and will be seeing her for functional medicine here soon so I kmow I have great health just around the corner. I have reduced my stress and therefore, like you have pointed out, reduced my pain. I still need to take pain meds but not forever. Not my thing. I want to be as healthy as I can too....before I add more things onto my plate.

    One thing I know of is that taking care of a child will not be an issue for me. I will never be alone with that. I have some pretty wonderful people around me. My fiance is worried about things, naturally, but he has also watched me go from healthy, to ill, back to getting healthy again and knows how strong I am. God will give me the strength....or the guidance to know what to do when I need some help. :0)

    Good luck to you next year sweetie. Sounds like you have a wonderful plan ahead of you..and an understanding husband. I hope he can nurture that positive attitude so you have a long, healthy life, together. As a family of 3.

    Anyone else????? How do you feel?
  11. Hippo

    Hippo New Member

    This is such a gut-wrenching decision. I am older; I am 50 and I have already had my children. When I got pregnant back in the 1980s, I was sick, but I was told that my condition was VIRAL and that there was no way I could pass it on to my children. My 14-year-old daughter has just been diagnosed with CFS and the guilt I am experiencing is terrible. I also have 9-year-old twin girls with psychiatric problems. My husband has left us, so we are really struggling. I never imagined that I would be alone, sick, with 3 handicapped kids. I love my children dearly, but I can see that they are really struggling due to their limitations and my heart is very heavy.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.

    Hippo
  12. PrincessofYoga

    PrincessofYoga New Member

    Hippo,

    I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Wow, that is a hard one. I hope that your ex has stepped up at least and is assisting with their care. I pray that God gives you strength and love to get through it all. I am sure though, that even with all of this hardship, it is a blessing to have those children here with you. Cant imagine a greater gift from God.

    And you know, I think there are so many things that could run our lives, fear based, especially hearing your story. I hate to think of living my life a certain way becaue of fear that I have, and not the desire to do what my heart feels I should do. See, I am one of those women that have thought, felt , all of my life, that I was put on this earth to be a mother. Not a career, not anything else but a mother. The thought of not having children kills me.

    I have alot of thinking to do for sure. We may want to look into adopting, with two strikes against us already it may not be a bad idea.

    Take care of yourself, and thank you for sharing your story. I posted because I was hoping for pro-s and con-s. I appreciate it.

    Namaste
    Lisa