Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by spmom, Apr 7, 2009.

  1. spmom

    spmom New Member

    The hardest part of this illness for me is the constant pretending that I am o.k. I am in a big flare right now and I'm thinking "Do I have to do this again." Some people know that I have fibro, but I don't show it because not only is it not helpful it would just make things worse. I'm a mom of young children who has a job and school committments. I try my best to take care of myself but it is so draining putting on this show--ugh!

    I've never seen a counselor for this but I just might to get some support.

  2. Pansygirl

    Pansygirl New Member

    Has been hard on me . I was diagnosed last summer 08 with FM.
    I've always been very involved with both of my kids schools and I enjoyed that
    very much. But I had to finally make a decision and so this year I told them
    I couldn't volunteer on a regular basis and that was a very hard decision for me to make.

    The thing that I'm still learning is that I must say no to things that I normally would
    have done so that I can take care of myself. This is not a lesson I'm learning easily
    but I'm trying. Even with less committments outside the home I still end up doing
    to much at I like to be busy ~ so I'm still a work in progress.

    I'm not working so I can only imagine how much harder it is for you to work , and do the school

    I have to admit that spring break put me into a huge flare and I'm still trying to recover from it and it was several weeks ago.

    Just know you aren't alone. Gentle hugs, Susan
  3. loto

    loto Member

    I am still able to work full time at a very busy, sometimes demanding and stressful job. I keep at it, don't let on to most people about how I feel each day. But, then at nite, i don't pretend to feel okay anymore. After I get supper done (on nites I actually have some energy left to cook), I get to the couch and don't do anything else. I feel so guilty for being this way with my family, but they do understand, except my 16 year old daughter likes to give me crap about it! She says I'm being lazy! So, there's only so much you can do before you just can't do it anymore!!!!
  4. satchya

    satchya New Member

    I was so looking forward to Spring Break this week, less lunch packing, less driving, less homework to supervise, etc. But I started a huge flare before the week even started. Having all three home at the same time all day is killing me!

    I overdid it at the gym on Friday because I wanted so badly to go to both dance classes and I love the new Friday Pilates instructor. But I've been paying for it physically ever since. I really didn't think I would have to. But I've been in so much pain. Apparently "Denial" ain't just a river in Egypt. lol

    My kids have great imaginations so I've been able to keep them busy inside for both days so far, but by tomorrow they're going to want to go out. So far today we have made a Pokemon "movie" by making a set out of cardboard, styrofoam, pictures, characters, etc. and took still pictures (like stop animation). The kids wrote subtitles, and we watched it set to music on the Wii. Right now they are in the other room playing "Three Story PetsMart", they're each in charge of a floor. They've got all their "products" set up. And I told them to make up commercials for each floor so I could have some time on the computer (I'm bad, I know)

    I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow. I've got to get them out of the house or it's just not fair to them. But I hurt so dang bad!

    I can't imagine working too, on top of all this. You have my sincere admiration and sympathy.
  5. Pansygirl

    Pansygirl New Member

    My kids are 15 (almost 16) and 12 and I thought (silly me) that when they got older
    it would be easier but it's just different. Still plenty of taxi mom time.

    My flare actually started a few days before spring break and it's just not letting up. It's been almost a month. My pain meds help but don't take all the pain away. But at least the pain
    meds help me to function somewhat.

    satchya wow your kids have wonderful imaginations. That's great that you are able to do dance and pilates. I do try to walk each day sometimes only 5 mintues and sometimes around the block depends on how I feel.

    You deserve some time for yourself satchya ~ I know at times I deny myself of things because I put my family first. We need to remember ourselves too and not feel guilty. Smile

    Gentle hugs, Susan
  6. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    One thing that really helped me was seeing a counselor who sees people on a short term basis who have chronic illnesses. She is also a nurse. I will sometimes still see her for what I call a "tuneup".

    I know the constant pretending was stressing me out. I do not pretend anymore but I also do not go into detail. It took some time but fortunately my close friends started understanding as well as my family.

    I felt so guilty and that was weighing me down.

    Take care.


    [This Message was Edited on 04/07/2009]
  7. Grammabearof3

    Grammabearof3 New Member

    I was dx in 06 with FM,GAD, Depression,Bursitits,Ra my family helps out A LOT my two boys 13 and 15 do the harder chores and my husband has always been supportive but i still feel like i have to be standing up when they come home,the dinner needs to be on the table and the house clean or i feel like a complete failure i drag myself around doing things so they will think mom is the same and not worse,i am so tired of pretending even when i know i dont need to
    warm hugs to all