Professional insults,jabs,digs,etc.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by inbetweendays, Dec 31, 2011.

  1. inbetweendays

    inbetweendays New Member

    Im so sick of dealing with professionals and their insinuations, discriminations,and abject abuse over being disabled....i cant even go to my eye doctor anymore because of constant comments about time passing and certain malingerer individuals---he is always trying to get information about what i do all day. Is this really any of his business?
    Then a holistic chiropractor blasts a politically themed radio station in my face as he is working on me--and makes a comment saying to my face--what the hell do you do all day,anyway? And other various insults about people collecting disability benefits....

    finally--i get my parents to go to perhaps look into making a special needs trust for me--actually i had given up the thought of even them getting a will for me...and to make matters worse--the lawyer instructs them to tell me to get a job.....this makes me sad on so many levels---many i know who need a special needs trust drawn up--can run into someone like this...and this feeds into many of the stereotypes about being chronically ill. Im sick and tired of it all!thanks for listening. Dont even get me started about the therapists, Am i in the twillight zone?
  2. ILoveGreen

    ILoveGreen New Member

    If you're in the Twilight Zone, so am I. I am having a major *%#$@)& pain day, and trying to reach a new chiro because my soon to be "former" chiro insulted me in exactly the manner you so adeptly described above on my last visit. I don't find it necessary to spend my precious energy by dwelling on the negativity by giving this subject any more time than this.

    There. I feel better already just getting that off my chest. Now I'm going to go and take a hot bath and hopefully feel well enough to drive over to the new chiro whose office # I can't find since he moved from his (former) practice and opened a new office. At least I know where his new office is. The lengths we must go to in order to take care of ourselves physically...and emotionally!!!

    Stay strong! We're all in this together. I wonder if it is considered malpractice to be treated this way by a physician? Mental duress? Moving on and taking the high road seems like the more beneficial way to go for quick results. Good luck! My bath awaits me.
  3. mbofov

    mbofov Active Member

    are not being professional at all, and it is none of their business. I would not go back to them. I have a very good chiro who does muscle testing and once I just told him that I only can do 3 to 4 hours of light activity a day and that's it, otherwise I crash for several days and he got an appalled look on his face - he seemed to realize what I was saying and that it's a horrible way to live. He's very kind so I'm lucky.

    It's easy to change eye doctors - I'd do it in a minute, and just don't talk about my illness with him or her. I only talk about CFS if I absolutely have to as 99% of people have no idea what it's really all about, and start saying they're tired too and they don't have a clue and won't get a clue unless they take the time to really educate themselves. And most don't.

    But I am sorry for what you went through - really - I'd change docs if at all possible.


  4. nleer

    nleer Member

    only mine is my family!! Very hard to make them understand why I am in bed most of the time and why I am so fatigued and in so much pain.

    I actually had one daughter, because we are having financial difficulties, ask me to just go off my medicine!!!

    I can't believe their ignorance. They don't want me to talk about my health, but they won't take time to read and understand what it is all about!!

    To me this is cruel and I don't know how to handle this!!

    I hope someday soon, there will be widespread awareness and education for all people so they will understand and be a little more caring and compassionate!!

    Here's to a healthy New Year,

  5. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    All we can do is find professionals who will work for us. We should not be paying people to insult us. There isn't much we can do about friends and family except stay away from them if, after we try to educate them, they do not treat us with the compassion we deserve.

    None of us wants to be ill and unable to work. Many of us had to give up high-paying jobs due to our inability to keep working. Do people really believe we prefer to live in poverty and illness? It's idiotic!

    DO NOT let ignorant people get to you. This is easier said than done and requires lots of practice and a thick skin but it can be done.

    Love, Mikie
  6. rkidd3423

    rkidd3423 New Member

    It's really tough having an invisible illness. My 16 year old daughter still doesn't believe that fibro exists. I also have myofascial and she can feel the knots in my arms but she doesn't understand why I have to miss work. I am on the verge of losing my house because I miss so much work. I've also been written up at work and I'm on a last chance agreement. Since I went on FMLA my company has tried to find any and everything they can that I do wrong. I'm sure I'm more of a liability now than an asset. I got really bad right after Christmas and took an FMLA day and my daughter said "why aren't you working today? You're going to get fired.". I lit in to her because I'm tired of dealing with it. I am trying to work 40 hours a week but it's becoming increasingly more difficult. I wish I could just stay home but I'm a single mom and I have way too many bills.

    Thanks for letting me vent!

  7. Saoirse3

    Saoirse3 Member

    If one more doctor asks me "Don't you work?" or "What do you DO all day?" I am going to snap "Listen to (word removed by moderator) like you, who don't know jack!" I won't win me many popularity points, but at this stage of the game I don't need to be popular!

    Soft hugs,
  8. ILoveGreen

    ILoveGreen New Member

    ...after one visit I'd have to say it was worth it. I found the chiro I was trying to locate. He's straight out of chiropractic school, which so far seems like a good thing: he's non-judgemental and equally important he could adjust my difficult neck. Who knows what he was thinking as he perused my "patient history" form (with full disclosure of meds and health conditions), but I felt good about the way he treated me, or at least neutral. As they say, sometimes good enough really is good enough.
  9. lvjesus

    lvjesus Member

    My family is wonderful for the most part. I do work but only 32 hours a week, of which my husband is supportive because it helps me and days when I have to come home and go to bed they wait on me, etc. It's scary to think how some people get treated by loved ones especially those you have taken care of all their lives, like children.
  10. cyren888

    cyren888 New Member

    you are soo right!! I could't agree more about not sharing with others. So very many professionals dont have the first clue about what fibro is all about, and they say highly inappropriate things, whether they mean to or not. It's just so much easier to say nothing about your illness, if you dont have to, you know? I find the less I say the better. Saves me from being judged. Maybe someday, when fibro and related disorders get the same respect as say, cancer, or MS, or MD, then it will be a different world. Until that day, just shut up, I
  11. lvjesus

    lvjesus Member

    and I will say it again - people envy you for what they THINK you have that they want. They think it would be lovely to not have to work and to stay at home all day, and it might be IF you were relaxing or doing something you enjoy or out shopping, etc. Unfortunately, many, many people only care about themselves. No one in his right mind would envy what we have - fatigue and pain and more fatigue and pain.

    They think you are livin "la vida loca" but you are really living a nightmare. And for all our "weakness" we are stronger than they will ever know. Try to imagine on our your detractors living even ONE DAY dealing with what you deal with EVERY day. They would be singing a different tune, I guarantee.

    One day last week, one of my co-workers was saying how awful she felt. She just keep walking around saying, "I really don't feel good". " I really feel bad". Finally she said, "I can see y'all are sympathetic to how bad I feel". I said, I feel like **** every ******* day! And she said, oh, I forgot!

    I just said, see she only cares about herself! It was sort of a joke, but it does illustrate my point. You can tell people and tell people, but it will go in one ear and out the other. I have been telling them that I am having cognitive problems (I am a bookkeeper) and do you think the constant talking and interuppting has stopped? Not at all. Might as well have said nothing.