ProHealth Message: Wrong Direction

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Sceptical, Aug 12, 2010.

  1. Sceptical

    Sceptical New Member

    Dear ProHealth,

    I think that we are mature individuals and we must be able to tolarate differrent (widely divergent) views. Thus, I do not agree on any restriction with respect to this limited public forum. Of course, offensive or derisive remarks lack any artistic or literary value (not protected speech) and may not be helpful but they reflect the mental state of an individual (inside tension) which belongs to this disease. If we cannot tolerate one another we cannot ask anyone else to accept us with this disease. We are a diverse group of individuals. Many of us are frustrated, lonely, desperate and hopeless. I do not think that a 2-week suspension would remedy this situation. Maybe an antiviral treatment could help... Without effective medical help this forum could at least alleviate this tension by providing opportunity for such bitter views.

    Take care,
  2. Tizz

    Tizz New Member

    ...with what you said, Adam.

    I don't think an absolute "zero tolerance" policy is productive for angry disagreement, when we all know that sometimes fibro/CFS can twist our moods into anger/frustration/depression -- and make us not act like our normal selves.

    However, I also know what can happen to a message board when it is hijacked by disagreements, regardless of what people are disagreeing about. It's not pretty...

    Perhaps a two day suspension would have made more sense. But ProHealth is kind enough to provide us with this forum to discuss fibro, and I very much appreciate that. And it is their decision how to handle the site they've provided for us.

  3. mbofov

    mbofov Active Member

    I don't think the problem is differing views or opinions. They're all welcome here. But what is not welcome is rudeness and lack of respect. You can disagree with someone without attacking them or being rude or condescending.

    We do need to tolerate and support each other, and when someone is rude or disrespectful, they are being intolerant. Verbal attacks can be just as destructive as physical ones.

    Being sick is not an excuse to behave badly.

  4. TigerLilea

    TigerLilea Active Member

    Hi Adam - I'm just curious as to why you are bringing this up now?? The past six weeks or so have been really good around here. The rudeness has disappeared and everyone has been getting on really well. Have I missed something that has happened in the past 48 hours?
  5. Sceptical

    Sceptical New Member

    I firmly disagree with you. We are mature individuals and must tolerate not only different views but hostile overtones as well. We are in a mess and sometimes some people cannot behave properly under such a pressure. Everyone knows that we do not mean it but we are basically helpless. I do not intend to offend anyone (hopefully have never done that here) and at the same time I am never gonna interpret any remark as offensive because I know the background against which such remarks come to life. This is no more elementary school where you have to punish anyone.

    I might not read this forum every days but I have never seen any truly offensive remark. I was called a Communist (health care reform), a stupid guy from "that part of Europe where doctors indiscriminately overprescribe benzos", stupid European who is jealous of the USA bc you are in freedom while we in Europe live in free, socialized health care (in the Middle Ages), etc. Reason for any grudge? I do not think so. We exchanged views. Some of them were hostile others were not. We communicated. Unfortunately, sometimes even healthy individuals might behave improperly, what do we expect from those who live under constant pressure.

    Finally, we have to be strong enough to survive. What is someone says I am stupid? Who cares? I have grave concerns as to whether I will ever recover or improve. I do not feel any grudge. I understand the person for whom this was the only outlet.

    Would you please offend me.
  6. mbofov

    mbofov Active Member

    Well, I don't think I could offend you if I tried from what you say.

    I'm not going to argue with you. For me, I don't tolerate hostility very well, especially in a place where we are all supposed to be trying to help each other. It just adds to stress and we all have way too much of that.

    Best wishes,

  7. Sceptical

    Sceptical New Member

    I just think we should focus on CFS and not on perceived grudges. Our enemy is the disease. Have a good day and do not bother about those who are simply temporarily or permanently upset.

  8. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Sometimes we see threads that pop up now and then which end up with abusive posts.

    However, I believe more often than not and we are all guilty of this, we attribute different perspectives as meaning a poster is being negative, argumentative, abusive or posting just to be negative.

    Different views on a topic have the same validity as long as they are appropriately worded.

    Our enemy IS our DD which makes it imperative to look at it from all angles This is one form of problem solving. Problem solving can help find solutions or at the least, better understanding about a topic

    People can choose to read posts or not. If we choose to read them, then take what information you want, if any and move on. If we respond, then focus on the facts.

    Up to a point we can choose how we react. If we get upset, then we are giving that post and/or poster more power than what it/they deserve. We are choosing to let it control our emotions. I am not saying we should not have any reaction as we are only human, but at the same time we have to place that reaction in context with the bigger picture, deciding if it is worth it to let it get to you and drain your energy.

    We have the right to express differing opinions but the responsibility of expressing them appropriately.

    But we also have to keep in mind that sometimes perception is 90% reality.

    [This Message was Edited on 08/15/2010]
  9. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    I have found a great site for FM/CFS that can also be used in conjunction with this site.

    It is very scientific and you have to join to be able to access the forum. You can fill out charts and can search others who have the same symptoms. this part is voluntary but I think it will be very helpful.

    The site is called Patients Like Me.

    I haven't had a chance to get on the forums too much as the last week has been incredibly crazy, a very long story.

    I love all the charts following your progress and see how other people are doing.


    ETA There are different forums for different conditions.

    [This Message was Edited on 08/17/2010]