psychotherapist is at a loss

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by yellowbird, Jul 11, 2003.

  1. yellowbird

    yellowbird New Member

    Just came back from a visit to my psychotherapist. She is free (covered by medicare) and I see her to help me cope with the frustration, despair and isolation CFS have brought me. Problem is, she seems to getting somewhat frustrated with me. She seems like she would like to come up with a solution for me, but there are none, really. For example, vis a vis isolation, she suggests making friends over the internet... I point out to her that I need real live friends, that just because I'm disabled doesn't mean I'm going to be happy with "table scraps" when most folks in the world get a "full meal"... (No offense to those who feel a good sense of connection with people they meet on the internet!). At this point she tends to fall silent and fidget uncomfortably. She doesn't seem to be able to help me with my frustrations, only to get caught up in them herself. Finding another therpaist isn't really an option for me, as I can't afford to pay anyone and there is noone else I can acceess for free.
    Has anyone else had a similar experience?

    yellowbird
  2. kerrymygirl

    kerrymygirl New Member

    I feel the same way. Being single I miss human touch. We all need that. My family is spread all over. When I moved left anyone I really knew.

    Recently I have lost the rest close to me through death or their moving away.

    I am not a computer person. Just recently got 1. Have major phone prob. now in wiring. So I have been without phone on and off and then computer. I just lost my last post again. Then went down to car it was dead.

    I have been soooo isolated, I can hardly stand it. My neighbors on both sides just got transferred.

    No 1 can understand unless you have a chronic illness and the isolation of it. Just do not have the energy to start all over again. Better send before I get cut off.

    You are and are not alone....Take Care Big Hugggsss to all who are isolated.

    It is even harder if you were an active people person. I guess no 1 can have an answer. I try to do some volunteer but I am not even reliable for that. I was up all night so am dead on my feet today.
  3. AC77

    AC77 New Member

    I think one thing we all underestimte is how much we NEED each other. To be around others; to hug and be touched. How few degrees we are all removed from one another--how much we require love and to give it.

    Lately, I haven't responded much because I have been busy myself but was touched by the sincerity, simplicity and desire in your post.

    I think that if you are stuck home and there is NO way for you to get to people, via, someone driving you or otherwise. Than you will have to bring them there, to you!

    Throw a party or a get together. Start a support group from your home for people with similar issues that you have. Call a local church for assistance,or newspaper. Or try 3 or more of them (they always have some action plan!) There is no doubt in my mind that isolation increases the disability of all diseases.

    I don't know your situation but I hope my ignorant suggestions are of some help. Also, consider being a volunteer. There is a service, People to Places that may cater to getting you places. As a literacy volunteer is one suggestion that comes to mind. I think you would find a lot of people willing to drive you to and from the places you intend to go. I know I would.

    The more connections like this you make, the more people you will learn to meet. The more service you do to others in spite of your own pain and suffering, the more good you do onto yourself! The more unconditional love you seed, then the more you harvest.

    I have seen this in myself and others and KNOW it to be true. However, if you can't get to any places, then its time to consider my first suggestion of having them come to you.

    You are in my prayers.


  4. bamboo

    bamboo New Member

    i have seen the same therapist for years because she was like finding a needle in a haystack of not-very-good ones (a lot like drs.). right after i moved here (seattle), i became ill and i wasn't able to get out and make many friends. we have talked about this on and off for years. she has made suggestions for looking up support groups, churches, etc. she also acknowledged that this city is not an easy place to make new friends. so, she has done what she can and she has been direct and said that she ran out of things to suggest. she started asking me to listen to my loneliness. i think it has become a companion after these many years and i have taken to writing, reading books on spirituality, and generally, just using what resources i have to fill the void. this is not to say that i disagree about needing other people - absolutely. it's just that, for some and maybe even many of us, we end up on the fringe of society and then work with what we have. it's not ever easy. i also have never completely given up on finding new friends. i try new things sporadically. perhaps you and your therapist could have a discussion about her unease in not finding an answer for you, at least yet. i know my response doesn't solve your problem, either, but i hope that it helps to hear that this is a common situation.