Puns Your groan for the day

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Greenbean7, Oct 2, 2008.

  1. Greenbean7

    Greenbean7 New Member

    I can almost hear the groans from here!!

    1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
    He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
    but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian

    3. She was only a whisky maker,
    but he loved her still.

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder
    and got a little behind in his work.

    6. No matter how much you push the envelope,
    it'll still be stationery.

    7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
    and was cited for littering.

    8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    9. Two silk worms had a race.
    They ended up in a tie.

    10. Time flies like an arrow.
    Fruit flies like a banana.

    11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
    The police are looking into it.

    12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
    One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'

    14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
    Then it hit me.

    15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

    16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,
    a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

    17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

    18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle,
    he just didn't have the balls to do it.

    19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was
    a small medium at large.

    20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    21. A backward poet writes inverse.

    22. In democracy it's your vote that counts.
    In feudalism it's your count that votes.

    23. When cannibals ate a missionary,
    they got a taste of religion.

    24. Don't join dangerous cults:
    Practice safe sects!

  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I've been a punster all my life. The lowly pun has been much maligned; it takes intelligence to come up with them and appreciate them.

    Whenever I drop coins, I say, "I'm going through the change."

    I will miss George Carlin and his list of puns and oxymorons.

    Thanks for the laughs.

    Love, Mikie
  3. therealmadscientist

    therealmadscientist New Member

    lol. Punny the way puns hurt. Mr Bill
  4. victoria

    victoria New Member

    I probably woke the whole neighborhood with my groans!!!!!

    Thanks, I needed that!

    Edited to add:

    The local drug rehab center also has a sign at its street entrance.
    It says:
    [This Message was Edited on 10/02/2008]