Question for the MEN (and women).....Is this true?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by kjade, Feb 14, 2008.

  1. kjade

    kjade New Member

    The other night, there was a commercial on TV for this new show where people are on a game-type show, and they are asked questions, and they have to reply truthfully. I can't remember the name of it and I haven't seen it.

    Anyway, in the commercial, the guy asks the contestant if he would ever cheat on his wife if he knew she would never find out. WELL, my husband was standing there, and he laughed and said "of course you would!" I looked at him and said "WHAT!!!???"

    He said "anyone who says they wouldn't is a liar - of course you'd do it if they wouldn't find out!"

    I was shocked - I said "but what about your vows, and commitment, and wouldn't you feel guilty the rest of your life?" He just kept laughing and walked out of the room.

    Now, he is not the cheating type at all - I know this about him - he wouldn't DARE! Because I would just KNOW. Plus he has never been that way. But his reaction was a surprise.

    So we were talking about this at work, and most of the guys said the SAME thing! And some of the girls too! Do most people think this way? I don't know that I could ever do that! But would I pass the lie detector on that show? Has anyone seen it?
  2. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    So, the guy on the show.. did he say he would?? I kept seeing it on the previews but missed the show.

    Don't sweat your hubbys reaction.. mine kind of laughed about the preview too, and I know he would cut off his arm before hurting me.

  3. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    Not all people think this way!! That answer would bother me.
    I think i read somewhere that the true test of character is how you behave, when you know, no one is watching you.

    My husband wouldn't, he turned down girls in college when he was single because he was turned off by girls that slept around.

    Just stopped and went and asked him this question to see what he would say.

    He said, "Are you kidding? That just isn't appealing to me."

    Then he said, "Why would i go somewhere else, i've got everything i want right here."

    And yes, he means what he says, he's a very loyal,sincere

    And, no, i didn't get a Valentine from him today, but i guess i'll forgive him.
  4. Doober

    Doober New Member

    same question but on another topic.

    If you could rob a bank of hundreds of thousands of dollars and get away with it, would you?

    If you could walk into an expensive clothing store and just take what ever you wanted and get away with it, would you?

    Everyone has though of getting away with something at one time or another. Whether illegal or immoral.

    If a guy could cheat and get away with it, most guys would say yeah. After all, humans still have the animalistic behavior in them in some degree or another. I think most guys including myself would be very very selective if we were to even think about this.

    All guys have their fantasies and some fulfill theirs. Others like me still have our fantasies and we leave them as such, just fantasies. Because when most people fulfill these types of fantasies, there may be nothing left to desire. Or they desire more and in the process destroy themselves mentally and sometimes physically. Some of their perceptions of many things in life will change.
  5. Callum

    Callum New Member

    To me, that's what commitment is. Whether my partner found out or not is beside the point. The betrayal is a betrayal is a betrayal. The well would be poisoned.

    I can only make a relationship work if I give it 100% - which I can't do if I'm entertaining thoughts of extra-curricular activities.

    Gosh, I hope I don't sound judgemental against those who might have slipped in their relationship. Every one is human, and every one is different.

  6. springwater

    springwater Well-Known Member

    The men in my family havent been very good examples where fidelity is concerned. Dad, elder brother, uncles. Ive seen many men dally.

    I have one younger brother who is married who i know hasnt cheated but his wife HAS!!!

    My husband? While I havent caught him actually cheating, I did have a row once with him over a girl. I thought he was paying too much attention to. I dont expect that he is a saint. I know there are wonderful faithful men out there, very few, but there are, but you have to be born lucky to get one.

    God Bless
  7. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    It is a relatively new program. I watched it for about 10 minutes and turned the channel. I don't like the program. It made me feel very uncomfortable. Those questions could change a family's dynamics on a permanent basis. There is just something intrinsically wrong with the concept of that program.

    When I get a gut feeling about something, I act upon it. I turned the channel because there is just something not right with the concept of that program. Feelings will be hurt, and this personal questioning is done with millions of people viewing it. Life has to go on after the program is over. I think this program is a train wreck waiting to happen.
  8. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I know what show you're talking about. I don't like it - I also watched for a short time and think we're going to read shortly about someone killing someone or themselves over something that 'came out'. Not really serious, but not joking either.
    My husband would never cheat on me and I'm not being naive. I 'test' him all the time with questions. BUT I am around guys a lot and most of them would answer the same way your husband did. I don't think his answer is that uncommon. I'm sometimes surprised that my husband answers the way he does.
    Mine wouldn't because he wouldn't be able to live with himself. I think he would also fear that I'd find out 'someway, somehow' (cause I ALWAYS DO heehee)and life as he knows it would be no more. He's very 'moral' - just a good guy all around.
    We've been married for 22 years. He still thinks he's the lucky one, isn't that sweet?
  9. lgp

    lgp Well-Known Member

    I think this show is degrading and potentially dangerous to the relationships of the people who are foolish enough to participate. Alot of men would reply the way your hubby did, but I think maybe it's a macho guy kind of a reply. I know with every fiber of my being that my husband would never cheat on me. He laughs and says, "With you and three daughters, that's enough estrogen for me, thank you very much." Seriously, my husband has a strong moral core that I was fortunate enough to recognize very early on and it is visible in many aspects of his life--personal,professional,responsibility to his elderly parents, etc. Yor husband sounds the same; they can kid around all they want, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, they follow their moral compass and do the right thing.
  10. monica33flowers

    monica33flowers New Member

    This type of show will ruin relationships and like Doober said, "Many men have fantasies." Sometimes I think their are just some things not suppose to be shared with each other and that is something that can cause doubt in any relationship.

    Give me DEAL or NO DEAL anyday, a good decorating show on HGTV or better yet CSI - Las Vegas.
  11. Doober

    Doober New Member

    The truth comes out now huh. I KNEW IT.

    Thank you elaine. Oh my my my, everyone asking their husbands but I didn't hear no answers from all the ladies here. Tsk tsk tsk

    Ok, who here has been checking out the gardner and landscapers???? HUH?????????

    HMMM HMMM HHMM, oh those rippled muscles on that man trimming the tree in the back yard???? And ya never ever ever even just said hmm, I wonder...

    OOOOOH, ok. I may be a whipped married man, but don't be beating on the man when he down....

    Ok, ladies, that was my mini manly

    LOL. Oh boy, I really need to take a vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!
  12. mollystwin

    mollystwin New Member

    And my answer to this would be NO. I wouldn't do it because I would know and it would bother me tremendously!! And God would know too!!!
  13. lkraft

    lkraft New Member

    I am only 35 years old, but very old fashioned in my beliefs. And because of this - I have a great marriage! No, I would never consider cheating on my husband even if noone found out. I love him soooo much and would never want to hurt him. We have spent 12 years building our relationship. We've put much hard work into it. It is much richer, deeper, and exclusive than any sexual escapade could ever be.

    Society teaches us that naughty sex is fulfilling. Well, it may be pleasurable but it leaves a person empty.

    Having a friendship and love that conquers life's trials - the kind where you come out more in love - is definitely fulfilling.

    Why would I mess that up??!! It would be like pouring black paint all over a beautiful landscape I've painted in many colors.

    P.S. My hubby and I have 'unsaid' rules. No touching members of opposite sex - even a hand on someone's shoulder is a no no. If one of us is home alone, no member of opposite sex may enter. I just say, "my hubby is not here right now" and I don't invite them in! Besides heading off any temptations, it can save a person's reputation to be discreet.
  14. victoria

    victoria New Member

    I know 3 men that have cheated on their wives... and with 2, their wives knew and chose to ignore it. I also know 2 women who cheated. How do I know this - because they've been friends/associates of mine or my husband's and one or the other have told us personally. 2 of the 3 cheating men have worked out their marriages to varying degrees of success... and 1 of the 2 women.

    From polls of married people, the number of extramarital affairs/1 night stands has risen for both sexes... because we all come into contact with the opposite sex apart form the home much more commonly now, 'they' say.

    What's weird is that my GF remarried, and her new husband said that he'd never worn a wedding ring in his other marriage, but --

    he regretted not knowing -- while single -- it was a 'chick magnet' (to use HIS words) --- he would've if he'd known how many women would hit on him just by wearing one. Yes really!- his wedding ring seems to attract many women, he (still) can't believe it.

    These women obviously don't care he is married - and their marital status doesn't seem to matter either. So the obvious attraction is either competition maybe, or not wanting 'strings'.

    Many other animals that are thought to be monogamous have been observed cheating secretly... scientists say it's to ensure having babies...

    And fantasy is one thing, reality is another, and there has always been a big chasm between the 2 for me at least. I don't know anyone who hasn't fantasized at some point or another at some point in their life... I suppose some regard even fantasy as cheating, but from everything I've read, it's normal; the numbers acting on it (I think?) seem to be changing for the worse.

    Other civilizations historically have treated extramarital sex quite differently, however,.

    [This Message was Edited on 02/15/2008]
  15. frosty77

    frosty77 New Member

    I have always firmly believed that everyone would cheat if given the 'right' circumstances (which would vary per person - for some, the spouse would have to be in a coma, for others, the spouse would have to be in the other room). Human beings, IMO, are not monogamous by nature.

    Years ago when the movie with Robert Redford, Demi Moore, and Woody Harrelson came out, I asked dozens of people if they would have sex or allow their wife to have sex with someone for a million dollars - almost all said they would.
  16. boltchik

    boltchik New Member

    Molly and Dar echoed my thoughts exactly. I would not do it even if I could. I would know it and it would eat at me, it just wouldn't be right. Of course, we are all human and find other people attractive, but I wouldn't do anything about it.

    So many reality shows today are just sad, they are such poor examples for our kids. I really monitor the shows my kids watch and even have some channels blocked for my 17 yr. old, which he hates, but, oh well.

    Good post, what an interesting topic to discuss.
    Thanks, Kim :)
  17. sisland

    sisland New Member

    Here are just a few of my insights,,,,,,i'm with Molly, Dar&Kim ,,,,,,,Does anyone think that the way we value sexualality has to do with the enviorments we were raised in?
    Maybe if we were raised in an enviorment that it was ok not to be monogomus then we grow up believing it is ok to cheat,,,,,alot of unhappy Married people Cheat i'm sure!,,,

    I never did but like some of you say was attracted to other men alot ,,,,,my husband was always flirting with other women when we were married ,,,and i'm positive had affairs ,,during the marraige,,,,,,,,,anyway ,,,,,i could never do that!,,,,,,,,I valued the Vows of Marraige!

    Hindsight is powerful!,,,,,The older i get the more i just want to be friends with Men!,,,,,lolol,,,,,,imho!,,,Sis
  18. doloresf1

    doloresf1 New Member

    the older I get, too, the more I just want to be friends with men.

    Any more than that gets just to complicated, in my opinion.

    Hugs, doloresf1
  19. daizymae

    daizymae New Member

    I think it depends on the person and their loyalty to their spouse and not if they're a man or a woman. But I don't feel that all men cheat just like all women don't. I had a guy tell me once that he would cheat on his girlfriend if he knew she wouldn't ever find out. I also believe that some women go for a married man: 1.) because there are no strings attached and 2.) a married man shows more stability (in a twisted kind of way). I've been married 25 years and I've never cheated on my husband although I've had the opportunity. It's because of a sense of loyalty that I feel. That doesn't mean I don't look, haven't flirted, and am not attracted to other men.
  20. Doober

    Doober New Member

    have to remember that a lot of men are a lot of talk and no action.

    As a guy, I guess when these types of questions are asked, we will answer with the macho answers.

    But when faced with the reality of the situation, I know myself I would never follow through with my answer of this type.

    Remember, the guilty conscience is a powerful tool that keeps most of us in check.

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