questionable posts

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by outofstep, Jun 7, 2009.

  1. outofstep

    outofstep Member

    just want to remind everyone that not everyone who posts here is legitimate. please be a little cautious when a brand new members pops up and has a miracle cure or wants to sell you something or has some weird off-topic spiel. not everyone has good intentions so please just keep that in mind. we can still be welcoming without being gullible.
  2. frickly

    frickly New Member

    It is always so disappointing when someone trys to take advantage of people on a support site. You always know these posters because they go on and on about being cured without giving any details to how they did it. Then, of course, at the end they give you a web site or email address to get more information. There are so many people out there that truly have no morales and are only on this earth to benfit themselves. Sad......
  3. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    I don't like the ones who really make up a story. They read through our posts and concoct a whole story about how they were bedridden for a year and now they're suddenly cured. And then after their long story, they will put in something about how you must visit someone's website for the cure or supplement or meditation training or whatever. And the sad thing is, so many people don't realize this is a bull story and will praise the poster up and down for being "cured". It's all bull, it's not true. They came here to sell something or promote something. It's disgusting.
  4. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Someone here trying to use this site to sell something. They always have a miracle cure and they give their e-address, or website, where you can obtain whatever it is they are selling. I just clicked the icon and e-mailed the webmaster about a recent snake oil salesperson here. The post was gone almost immediately. I don't judge people based on a first post unless it's an obvious salesperson trying to take advantage of our illnesses.

    Love, Mikie
  5. Doober

    Doober New Member

    It is so easy to spot these salespeople.

    I mean, the post that they put on the site just after joing the site is a dead give away.

    You can always tell a new member who is a legit person because they introduce themselves first and have questions. They also show such appreciation for finding a forum where they find that they are not alone.

    They are looking for people to respond to them, and then they get you to go to their website. Some are harmless websites, others I would be careful with only because the first time you give them an email address, you are getting bombarded with useless junk in your email in-box among other things that the technical geniuses have created these days.
  6. Waynesrhythm

    Waynesrhythm Member

    Hi Anchor, Hi All,

    Anchor, I have to agree with your comments here. Yes there are many questionable posts that can be spotted almost immediately for what they are, with probably 90%+ accuracy. But what about those posts that have more of a gray area, as opposed to black and white?

    Should we be so sure of our perceptions that we're willing to take the risk of being mean to someone who may not necessarily be posting with the intentions we ascribe to them? I think not. Even in those circumstances where it is pretty clear cut, I will not be mean.

    Responses that might respectfully let them know that what they are doing is unethical are very appropriate. But in the end, the responses we post are far more a reflection of ourselves than of the original questionable poster.

    Best, Wayne
  7. quanked

    quanked Member

    I think some of us have right-on gut feelings about what we read. If one has a feeling that something is off about a post then I would bet that the post may not be as sincere and honest as it is trying to be. When many readers have similar gut reactions then it is likely that a reader should be on alert for a con job.

    Now how one responds to their gut reactions on the board is up to the individual. I think this is a place for many kinds of responses. For some of us being polite is a must. For some being straightforward and honest about what we sense is a necessity. I think my response needs to be based on what is written in the post on a case by case basis. I am not sure that I would feel compelled to justify my response beyond my gut reaction. I trust my gut after years of use. In the end I am not buying or looking into something that I sense is a con.

    I appreciate those that take the time to post their thoughts on these matters whether their posts are polite or in-in-your-face or neutral or anything else. I need to be reminded that there are some here who are not interested in anyone else's best interest but their own.
    [This Message was Edited on 06/08/2009]
  8. Doober

    Doober New Member

    What you folks have said. I would in no way condone anyone to be mean. One of the things I like to say is "When in doubt, check it out". Kina obviously did that, Thank you by the way.

    My concern is I don't want folks here to get sucked into something where there is a hint of false hopes as we all have seen it too much to not be aware of it. I despise people to prey on other people and use folk's hopes as a tactic to sell their products. I hate this even more then pop-ups on my computer on the internet.....lol

    Ever since joining this board, I found that people join for 1 of 2 reasons. People are in the same boat and looking for help and support from others like them, and then those who join to try to sell their products or books. Which from what I have seen are very similar to what everyone else has written on the subject, with a few exceptions of writers who have something different to say.


    Sometimes when I see posts like that, it reminds me of those info-mercials that are on at 2-3am every morning that sell things that they promote as the greatest thing ever, or that they have the miracle products or something else like that.

    If these things are so great, then the world will find out in the "normal" process instead of being hidden in the shadows on the inside of a shady man's trench coat if you know what I mean.

    We certainly would NEVER turn down a new member who like us is looking for the same answers to the questions we are ALL asking. I am not a person who like to demean anyone, unless of course I have been painted into that proverbial corner.

    As one of our honored members here would say "Take what you want and leave the rest" which I have been doing since I heard this phrase.

    So, just be careful of people out to make that quick buck and let's continue along with our support, understanding and help of what each other are going through.
  9. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    When I spot on obvious salesperson, I respond, telling him or her it is against the rules of this board to sell anything. I mention that when one joins, one is supposed to agree to abile by the rules. Then, I let PH know and they can decide if the post should be removed. The offending posts have always been removed bcause they are blatant selling.

    Love, Mikie
  10. Waynesrhythm

    Waynesrhythm Member

    Hi Mikie, Hi Anchor, Hi All,

    Awww Mikie, everybody here knows you don't have a mean bone in your body! :) Your approach feels almost identical to what I tried to point out when I mentioned, "Responses that might respectfully let them know that what they are doing is unethical are very appropriate." I think your approach is really quite a good example for others.

    Hi Anchor, need some company out there in the wilderness? :) I appreciate your responses here, probably because your thoughts are so similar to mine. :) Anyway, this thread has had me thinking, and thought I'd share a story here I think is relevant.

    This is apparently a true story, I believe published in the Reader's Digest a number of years ago. It regards a prominent "socialite" couple, who I believe lived in Chicago. She was the epitome of grace, social manners, warmth and friendliness. Her husband was viewed as somewhat of a grouch, not very social, in fact, quite brooding. Friends and acquaintances could never understand why she would be married to such a misfit.

    All of a sudden, word went out that this couple left town very quickly, much to the dismay and shock of many of this lady's friends. This shock soon gave way to a greater shock. The reason they had left town was to try to avoid prosecution for theft by the woman. Apparently, she was a kleptomaniac, and he had to constantly be watching over her to keep her from lifting things literally everywhere they went.

    Moral of the story? Things aren't always as they appear to be. And if we go through life assuming we can have certainty in all situations, we will most likely eventually get it wrong. And end up unjustly "burning" somebody who we've been quick to judge.

    Best to All, Wayne[This Message was Edited on 06/09/2009]
  11. gasolo

    gasolo New Member

    The way I see it , there are two risk. First the risk of allowing a poster to pray on our vunerability for a cure vs the risk of unfairly accusing someone who post in good faith. I believe being skeptical is healthy. The decision to call someone out is a judgement call.

    Gary

  12. Waynesrhythm

    Waynesrhythm Member

    Hi Gary,

    Thanks for your note. By now, (57 years old), I feel I walk around with a pretty healthy case of skepticism. :)

    RE: """The decision to call someone out is a judgment call.""" I think judgment calls to "call somebody out" are entirely appropriate. The point I've been trying to make, perhaps inadequately, is the manner in HOW this is done.

    I think Anchor has been making the point that she feels it can be done without being mean or resorting to anger. I believe Mikie's approach is very well balanced in that it is firm but respectful. I've never seen a hint of anger when Mikie has called people out.

    In the past, I've seen (and I believe Anchor has noted this as well) that some pretty mean-spirited and angry replies have been made when calling people out. I do not think it's a good approach, and doesn't set a good tone for this board.

    Unfortunately, I think this same approach has been used between members on this board. One person will say they have the right to call another person out, while the other person will complain about HOW it was done. My own philosophy is to err on the side of respectfulness and kindness.

    Thanks again Gary for your note. Also, thanks for your posts on this board that help clarify some things from the perspective of a medical professional. I really appreciate it.

    Regards, Wayne
  13. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Wayne, I love your stories because they always humanize us. You are so articulate in your posts too. I try not to be offensive but sometimes, I am a bit terse in my responses because I've come here in a hurry and don't have time for my usual "War and Peace" responses :) Thanks for your sweet words and your usual kindness. We should all try to be more like you.

    Anchor, no I didn't think you were speaking specifically to me. I just wanted people to know that if my responses are a bit terse, it isn't out of meaness. There is always the possibility that I could mistake a salesperson for someone who is just trying to be helpful, despite years of experience spotting such people. I am no longer an active moderator here. As I've been lucky enough to experience some healing, my life has just gotten so much more busy and active. I simply don't have time to do the job justice. I still am loyal to ProHealth, who provides this board through sales of their products. Without this board, I would likely still be bedridden and on Morphine, declining more and more. Everything I have learned about which has helped me heal is something I first learned of here from our wonderful members. When I spot a blatant sales pitch, I let PH know out of a sense of loyalty to them and to our members. You are right; we should never be mean.

    Gary, you are right. It is always a balancing act for our moderators and the admin. people at PH. I have seen innocent members here get jumped on by members when they feel the person is selling. I try to only alert PH when it is obvious to me. Then, the ball is in their court to take a better look at that person.

    The overwhelming majority of our members are kind and sharing people. I appreciate that.

    Love, Mikie
  14. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    You guys are great. I think it is the pesence of people like you who keep this world sane and good...

    God Bless