Questions more since I my dx

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Sep 17, 2008.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    My pain levels have been thru the roof this past month. It comes in cycles, some months are my usual pain levels and suddenly out of the blue my pain gets so bad that I want to sit and cry but it would hurt to much.

    My daughter and her husband, along with their babies Braxton 3 & Kari 21 months old are staying with us till they can move in to their new apartment.
    I know that I have over done it how can I not I have played with my grandbabies swinging them , rocking them and haveing them climb on me. I have walked more as it embarasses my girls for me to ride in the handicap cart at the stores. I thought that I could use the exercise as I have not had a swim class to go to. It was a bad thing to do. Should have let the girls be embarassed.

    It is not just my girls or the SIL staying with us. I seem to have more pains after I got my DX. No one has ever explained to me what causes me to have pain that feels like it is in the core of my bones, I can feel it so deeply imbeded in my body and I can't stand it. I hurt all the time, walking up or down stairs hurts more than it used to do. Why?

    I can't sleep at night. I have been on ambien before and I would go to sleep and wake up 4 or 5 hours later , with the worse hangover, head ache, I would have night terrors with colors to vivid that I was terrified but when I awoke screaming I could not remember what was wrong or why I was screaming.

    I know why I hurt more tonight I played with my granddaughter last night while her mommy was up town with her sister and my granddaughters big brother. My SIL had been a total a#$ %*$# from the moment he walked thru the door til he went to sleep. I still want to place a BOOT TO THE HEAD with steel toed shoes. SEveral times on both sides of his head. I Know it would make me feel better but it would only cause more problems for my daughter if I said any thing about what happened last night. The boot to the head is a song that I heard a long time ago and it keeps comming to mind when I am really stressed out.

    IT is about a martial arts studio the master has every one be quiet and concentrate . AFter a few moments a voice is heard from the back of the room where a hick sat and wondered why there was no action just sitting and being calm . AFter being told to sit down and be quiet several times the master has him come to the front of the room and suddenly you hear this phrase"BOOF" Boot to the head, you hear a loud thud as his body hits the floor. and soon it starts over again.

    I remember the day I got my Dx concerning my fibro. Suddenly I was in far more pain than I was the day before. All it took was some one to tell me that Yes you have a real reason for your pain but there is nothing we can do about it.

    So deal with it. How do you deal with some thing that makes your body feel like you have been pulled through a knot hole backwards time after time. OR some one has slammed your head with a large sledge hammer, your legs ache so badly that the bone feels like it is under pressure and some one is punding on it and it feels like it will shatter but does not.

    But these words don't define what this never ending pain feels like to me, or what it does to me, just because I was told I have fibro does not make my husband believe that fibro is real. Or to have your husband tell you that he feels that you are a drug addict because you take pain meds , strong ones and if it were him in this pain he would not take any thing or so he tells me. But this is a pain that he has not felt , lived with for years and years.Not knowing that there was really some thing wrong with you all the time.
    I really have not got to the heart of this post but it would take too many pages for me to discribe how I feel. Sorry for the novel, but thanks for letting me write it.
    Rosemarie {Crying from the pain in my legs } Can they fall off?
  2. poets

    poets Member

    It sounds as if the added exertion and stress is really bringing on a bad flare. You must do what you have to do, even if it means riding in a cart or even a wheelchair. You need to think of YOU a bit too. The others don't have to suffer like you do, and they obviously can't understand.

    You have so much going on around you that it seems to me that you need a break of some kind. If you could only get time to yourself. I know you love your grandbabies and like to play with them, because I have grandbabies too. But sometimes I have to settle for reading a book or perhaps watching Mr. Rogers or Davey and Goliath with them.

    You need a change. You need people looking after YOU. You need to stand up to the adults and tell it like it is in no uncertain terms. You have limitations. If I was dealing with all you are, I'd be in an even worse flare than I am now. And you better believe I know the pain of a severe flare.

    I've read your posts before and you are so giving of yourself. Now it's time for people to start giving back to you. You are certainly worthy of it.

    I'm so sorry you're in so much pain and I hope and pray you can soon find a solution to all this.
    Take care of yourself. Take care of you. Sending gentle hugs and prayers.