Rant.. has this happened to you/family Need help

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by darvick, Aug 18, 2006.

  1. darvick

    darvick New Member

    My fibro fog has gotten really bad to the point of not trusting myself to do certain things. Well family had a meeting today ,,
    Spouse is stressed with me I know. They decided I need to use my brain more, and if I screw up telling them a bill was more than they thought then I have to work on the computer or something to pay for it.

    The pain I have CANT be,,, cracking your knuckles doesnt hurt. And if I swim to increase flexability and have mentioned i dont hurt while im in the pool then your brain must be controlling it,,,

    well getting out is a different story,, and spending the day on the couch with a heating pad is all in my head.

    Distract your pain. Spouse was on disability years back and worked her way to a boat captian great for her ,, her pain tolerence is higher and she doesnt have fibro.

    I also have buldging disks in my neck and back along with osteoarthritis in the spine and elsewhere, Guess I am just going to have to shut up and bear it, I am sooooo pissed but because I mess up sooo much I am not allowed to do anything but cleaning and cooking , and work my way to other things,,, cant even go grocery shopping.

    Every time I mess up with money now Spouse is going to buy herself something whether we have the money or not. Im costing too much.

    Any suggestions or do I really diserve this

    Hugs Darlene
    [This Message was Edited on 08/18/2006]
  2. code34me

    code34me New Member

    Sounds like your being punished for being ill? That is sad to me and must make you sad for them to treat you that way?

    I dont understand if you mess up with money she will go out and mess things up more buy spending money? Sounds like emotional blackmail or verbal abuse to me.

    Take care of you, Codey
  3. darvick

    darvick New Member

    They are just so frustrated with me and yes i agree making things worse is not good. Everyone is usually understanding, but the mistakes i make or forget has gotten costly, some days i just cry and wonder if i should go to my moms but dont have a penny to my name and care would not make it,,, plus the disability stuff would have to be transfered etc...
    Hugs
    Darlene
  4. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    know how old you are, I'm 58. I would call another meeting and it would start with "NOW we will hear the FACTS!". I have learned life is too short to be unhappy. I have learned life is too short to be abused. I have learned that life is too short to take ANYthing that I don't want to
    from ANY one for ANY thing. It might be hard to get out and do things on our own but if I had to live with being treated like a silly child, a faker and frankly a nincompoop..I'd say change or I leave! And I would.
  5. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    if they try to tell you something that's not true,Say "it's not true" in a calm way.
    If you don't want to get worse,you have to take your illness as a top priority.

    Join a support group close by so that they can help you with things.As far as her spending,treat the money as a roomate type thing.Pay half(if you can) and let her spend her half if she wants to.
    If you are in a financial place where you can't do this,a lot of churches will give you advice, money,or both.I hadn't read that yet when I wrote this.Churches will help with many things,In my church you don't have to be a member.I am Luthern and these types of thins are allocated(sp)

    I had 3 baby's with little meds.I have a high pain tolerence, but I'm on morphine.People just don't understand this type of pain.If you let people walk over you they will continue to do so.Hope this helps.I 'm a christian so my way of helping is praying for you.I will do that.Linda
    [This Message was Edited on 08/18/2006]
  6. darvick

    darvick New Member

    I don't belong to any organized church , but am very spiritual, there are some listings i will try thank you all for replying
    Hugs
    Dar
  7. MsE

    MsE New Member

    Time for another family meeting, one that you lead.

    One thing that helped me tremendously years ago was a note from my doctor that he wrote on a prescription pad. It said I had CFS. If you could get such a note and "handouts" of pertinent pages from articles and books on fibro and distributed them at the start of your meeting, it might help.

    That might help them understand that you problems and your pain are genuine and not something you can overcome by willpower.

    On the other hand, if their main complaint is that you are screwing up the money, and if they are correct, then if I were you I wouldn't want to be in charge of the checkbook.

    But neither would I want to be "punished" for your foggy moments as you say you are by having your spouse use your "fog" as an excuse for a self-treat. That is totally uncalled for.
  8. darvick

    darvick New Member

    Response from spouse was I don't give a damn what the board says...... I wont say what im thinking I'lll get kicked off the bord. You all have supported me no matter how silly or stupid ive been, and if my support has to come from here it will. Thought showing her what was my feelings and concerns would help yea right.
    Thanks All
    Love
    Darlene
  9. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    bankruptcy....put as many bills on direct payment if you can....phone, cable, auto insurance...if you can....

    sorry about your problems...

    jodie