Ranting and worrying

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by azbubba, Oct 9, 2006.

  1. azbubba

    azbubba New Member

    I thought I would take a moment and throw down a few thoughts.

    I generally am just a lurker here...I read some, and post once in a great while, if it's something I can relate to. However, my main (althought certainly not my only) symptom is fatigue. So, if I have it easy compared to you, I mean no offense.

    But here's what's going on. I currently work full time, but am finding it harder and harder to do. Some of it I blame on allergies, some of it I blame on just doing 'too much'. I'm a 39 year old male that used to work 60-80 hours a week, sometimes more...and now am frustrated that 40 is almost an impossible stretch.

    At present, I have used up all my paid time at work. Which means the time I went home early last week was unpaid. Along with the half a day I didn't work today, and the entire day I'm not working tomorrow. Sometimes I wonder if I will be able to continue working, which is a scary thought. I am already in debt, and don't really have anyone to fall back on besides myself and God. I guess I should consider myself blessed because I do not have kids, like so many of you that post here. I honestly don't know how you do it.

    I go to my family doc tomorrow, where I plan on having the discussion about what am I supposed to do for life answers, knowing that I'm just totally worn out by working, which leaves absolutely no strength left for laundry, dishes, cooking, or social functions. I honestly have not been to him much, and I know he's an absolute fitness fanatic, so I know part of what I'll hear.

    Thanks for listening to me vent. Since the ambien will be kicking in shortly, I'm wrapping this up.

    Thanks for being a community where I know I'll be understood.

    Bubba
  2. rachel432

    rachel432 New Member

    azbubba i know where your coming from. i also still work, but only 4 days a week. i also feel like all i can manage to do is go to work and sleep. i don't know hoe much longer i'm going to be able to keep up the job thing either and the thought of no longer being able to work scares me to death.

    as far as the houswork goes i am so lucky that i have a wonderful husband that works from home who does all the cooking and cleaning. he is truly a lifesaver. but, he doesn't make very much money and if i lose my job we are financially screwed. the only bonus is that we also don't have any children which would only complicate things even more. i don't know how people with this dd manage to raise children, i truly admire them as i heve enough trouble taking care of myself.

    good luck with your dr. appointment. let me know if he has any good ideas for you!

    rachel
  3. azbubba

    azbubba New Member

    For your support. Jill, I'm actually going to see my family doc today, and I don't have another appointment for that rheumy unless I see a need to go. The last two times I went he gave me darvocet and vicodin, and didn't really do much else.

    Thank you for your offer of friendship. I definitely could use a sounding board from time to time...and I do the same for some of the people at my church that are having a tough go of life. Thank you also for your prayers...and I'll do the same for you. Hopefully we can meet in chat sometime.. :)

    And Rachel, I am also pretty scared about the prospect of not working anymore. Being a guy, I probably get a fair amount of my self-esteem from it...and not sure what life would look like if I didn't work.

    Thanks again.
    God Bless!
    Bubba
  4. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    OK so working 60-80 hours a week is normal for you? I don't mean to sound like a Mom here, but can't help myself as a mother of 3 Adult sons (it never ends). That is a lot of work for a person with no health problems at all, so for you it might be too much right now. Bubba, I know you were probably just ranting and don't need a lecture, so I won't do that. May I suggest that you start (maybe you already have) recording your activities and also, times and triggers of fatigue. Maybe even pay attention to whether certain foods make you feel more tired.

    I've had CFIDS and FMS for close to 10 years (probably longer than that) and I am finally, finally getting the fact that pushing myself all those years was the worst thing I did to my body. Right now, resting is the only thing that helps me. I had to stop working, hopefully you won't. But, all this is to say that I think it's important to pay attention to what your body is telling you and give it what it needs...if it is rest, then rest...if it is less sugar, then cut down or eliminate sugar. Take baby steps and just see what works for you.

    These illnesses are so complex as I'm sure you know. Doctors get frustrated and don't know what to do for us. So we eventually end up treating ourselves for the most part.

    Also, you mentioned God, so I'm going to say something that I think you will "get". He's your daddy and he's rich, so I would say that you are in a good place. Falling back on God is a good thing. BTW, read your blog and yes, you are a man!!! I've got one like you at home, praise God!!

    Get well, Bubba. Blessings, Lolalee
    [This Message was Edited on 10/10/2006]
  5. azbubba

    azbubba New Member

    Thanks for your encouragement. I actually used to work 60-80 hours a week years ago. Right now my schedule is for 40 and most of the time I haven't been making it, working about 25-30 hours a week.

    And yes, we serve an awesome God. I guess I have the same fear that a lot of us have...totally trusting in Him to provide. Probably because as a male, I'm used to the "oh, I'll provide for myself" mindset.

    Thanks for taking the time to encourage me. :)
    Bubba