Rather Stay Home than Try to Go Anywhere

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by greatgran, Jul 13, 2008.

  1. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    I am not sure if its anxiety or what but since being ill I had rather stay home than try to go anywhere. I only go when I have to.

    I haven't been on vacation in 6 years, just not worth the effort. My vacation is staying home and doing nothing, when possible.

    Its like I fear going, afraid if I go I will have a"spell" and not be in my comfort zone, my home. I can't take crowds, bright lights, noise etc.

    It was so hard when I had to stop working, traveling, socializing .Now its so hard to make myself go and do. Maybe agoraphobic is still with me.

    Can anyone relate?

    God Bless,

  2. 1sweetie

    1sweetie New Member

    You are not alone. I have very similar feelings. I rarely go anywhere. When I do go out, I pay a heavy toll for it the next few days.

    I only have a few people that I am comfortable around. When they are with me, I feel more safe because I know that they will take care of me.

    I can only drive about 10 miles and only on routes that are easy and well known to me.

    The sensory overload problems with noise, crowds, smells, & lights plus the fatigue keep me at home most of the time.

  3. Didoe

    Didoe New Member

    dear greatgran
    you described my life exactly. But today, its a deliberate choice. For years, while undiagnosed & living with severe chronic pain, exhaustion from normal activities, I felt GUILTY as if I had to explain to docs or relationships why I wasn't partying in the Big Apple every night of the week.
    Work, college and regular household tasks would and still do, require recuperation time.

    "You live in NYC!! Oh all that 24/7 non stop everything open all the time, theatre,museums...oh you're so lucky"

    but none of it within my ability to enjoy.

    TV shows like "The Real Housewives of NYC" you see rich beautiful women, running around working, shopping, decorating, kid caring, boyfriend hunting...and I think how hard I worked to just get from day to day, to be here now at the computer, able to pay rent, bills and work...all while being so sick and without knowing what or why...dragging myself for years...I'm not complaining, only trying to explain how degrading it was to be so limited while being looked at like, lazy? or mentally ill?

    Everyone knows what's wrong or has a diagnosis except you and a competent doctor:)

    After 9/11, being close enough to see both towers come down, people falling, I stay home and dont feel guilty. If that's agrophobia, that's okay... its actually not only the physical aspects of having to recuperate for being outside getting errands and work done, there's a mental toll dealing with people in such a rush, they never look at you...let me give you a small example.

    I have to buy something; go into Walgreens or some large pharmacy carrying everything; get my items and before approaching cash register, take out wallet, take out credit card, because at the register you can't stand there and take up time doing these things; and if you use cash and get change, you try standing there for 2 seconds after sale is completed to put change in your purse? Clerk moves and calls out NEXT!!? and you haven't grabbed your package off the counter yet, haven't stashed your change...'what the hells' wrong with you, move yourself there's a line here...'
    I'm not sloooow, but this is surely not normal living.

    Not only have I become comfortable with being at home, I've learned to shop almost exclusively online. The only thing I have to buy outside is groceries.

    Would I like to have companionship? Sure...but finding a person equally happy to be at home, someone who isn't restless, who doesnt need to be entertained outside or feel compelled to run out for a movie (what the hell is cable for?)...hard to find. Does anyone read anymmore, except on the subways so they dont have to look at anyone else?
    Maybe this is what getting older means...who knows.
  4. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I no longer socialize. I just go to work, run errands, and stay home where I'm comfortable. I do visit family and they come down here from time to time. It's not as often as I would like but sometimes, it more often than I can stand physically.

    I think that some of us miss our old socializing and some of us are content to just be. I am in the latter category. I'm pretty sure if my healing is ever complete enough that socializing doesn't wear me out, I would enjoy it again. Right now, I just feel blessed to be able to work part time. With the prices as they are now, I need the money. Seven years ago when I was bedridden most of the time, I never thought I would ever be able to work again but I hoped for it. It does take its toll, though. Right now, allergies are sooooo bad down here. It's not just me; there are a lot of people sick with them.

    Sometimes, just the thought of trying to do something and having that "knowing feeling" that it would be too much makes me not even want to try. Even though the Klonopin puts a stop to sensory overload for me, I still don't like crowds, noise, confusion, and physical demands on me.

    Honestly, I think you and I have a lot of company in how we feel. I wish it were otherwise. Over the years, I have tried to make the best of it by watching interesting TV, enjoying good DVD's and reading good books. I'd like to paint more but with the allergies and working, I don't even feel up to that. When I'm like this, I snuggle down and send up a prayer of thanks that I can rest and have a comfortable home and bed.

    I pray for healing for all of us. We have to deal with our illnesses on soooo many levels.

    Love, Mikie
  5. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    I stopped going on holiday a few years back - the planes, the heat, having to spend most of my time in the hotel while my poor husband wandered around on his own.

    I very rarely socialise - if there's a wedding or special birthday and the person is really close then I'll go but thats seldom.

    I'm not agorophobic, I'm just not up to it, home is my comfort zone too, I can 'retire' when I feel like it.

    Thing is here in Scotland, we haven't been getting summers these past few years, mostly rain so its disappointing that we can't go abroad to the sunny countries like Spain or Greece but its just not worth it.

    love Rosie