RE: Completely lost and lonely

Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by ccnla, Jan 5, 2009.

  1. ccnla

    ccnla New Member

    I read your post.
    I have been there and struggle with bouts of severe depression where I am immobilized by it.
    I got on Zoloft for the second time when I realized I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I didn't know exactly what that was until I experienced it.
    My son who suffers with mild learning difficulties started a new school and was being bullied.
    I was getting calls everyday from the school for 6 weeks.
    One day out of depression, anxiety and exhaustion I laid down and my nerves began to shake deep inside me and I started crying uncontrolably in my sleep.
    I HAD to get on the Zoloft to save me from this pressure in my life and eventually it will level you out.
    But you cannot hop around from drug to drug. Be careful, taper off. And start with low dosages.
    I tend to be a bit agoraphobic these days too- from being constantly let down by people and from the hostility that I see in this world today.
    So, I have to literally FORCE myself out. It helps to have safe havens like... Starbucks, or a corner table etc.
    You absolutely cannot pull out of life and isolate yourself any longer.
    I know it's hard to conjure the motivation or enthusiasm. But you need to find something that thrills your soul alone even.
    My first savior from deep depression was singing the Blues- seriously. I found a voice in me. I listened to a lady named Katie Webster and she was singing my pain. I found comfort knowing I was not alone.
    Get yourself a blank notebook to write in. Listen to some profound classical music. Go to an art museum and walk around it all by yourself. Go to a concert by yourself. You have to find yourself again.
    Don't worry about the teller job. You are lucky you are working!! :)
    Forget what people think. You can get to a point in life where after you've been in a rut so long, you just want to save yourself from it and get your old self back. You will walk out of your house with a bandana on your head, sunglasses and a big coat- like you never thought you'd let anyone see you in the past!
    You cannot hole up in your house- get out as much as possible.
    Run in place when noone is around! Try to come alive.
    Go to the craft store and get something fun to work on.
    More than anything, you must pray to God and ask God to help you find the way right now and thank him for the life you are so lucky to have.
    When I feel horrible, one thing that makes me feel more grateful and realize how lucky I really am, is the story I recently heard about people in Haiti having to eat mudpies to stay alive.
    I know you can't always pick yourself up this way, but try. You can do it!
    And never forget, the world can be crazy and people can really get you way down- you can't care about anyone else except yourself and your family of course.
    Don't care about what people think about you. It doesn't matter. Noone is better than you.

    I remember losing a writing job in SF I had for a magazine one time, because my car got towed and I couldn't afford to get it out. I had to quit my job and walk a mile and a half to work in a bagel shop to earn enough money for a car.
    I did that and while there I saw my old best friend who snubbed me like I was dirt.
    I bought a "new" car that was rigged and lost all I'd saved for and had to start over. Let me tell you, I have been there. Keep your head up and love yourself!!!

    [This Message was Edited on 01/06/2009]
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the board. Are you "in LA"? I am. If you click on my name above, you can
    read my profile. May not work at first. The board is going through a period of
    change and redesign.

    You might want to visit the chit chat board. People talk about non-medical topics like
    TV, kids, or Christmas parties.

    Good luck to your and your son.