Reading over my medical records interesting butsomething is miss

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Jul 1, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    AS I sit here feeling like there is a mack truck parked over my chest and coughing so hard that I taste blood and cough up icky stuff { I guess I should be happy about the last one as I don't need to get sicker}.

    But I have been reading my medical records and in one it reads " Patientin currently having a flair of her fibromyaligia and of her arthritis& MPS."

    So if I am reading htis right I do have fibro along with MPS but it is just not listed on the letter that is for my disability case. I better get that fixed around so I have all of the things that are not right and reasons why I am unable to work.

    I still feel like I have lost my self and I have to many things that I still want to do. Take today, my daughter the youngest is not having a good day , she has a 15 month old son , and is about 12 weeks pregnant with her second baby and then there is the 21 year old husband who is acting more like a baby than the baby does. She just wants some one to be there and support her and help her with her house work and with the baby who is the cuteset most stubborn little boy there ever was. And her husband is not helping her and he just yells at her to take care of the baby when she has asked him to watch him and he does not do it.

    I remember being in the same postition , having two small girls and expecting another and not gettting any help from my husband and it sucked. I hated it , I felt so helpless adn was so tired . Darn that sounds like I feel now. And I am NOT PREGNANT!!!

    I wrote about having MPS and fibro and were they the same thing as when you search for MPS you will find fibro right along with it and in reading the articles they are mentioned to gether as if they are one syndrome and they are not. But aparrently I have both . That would explain how I have been feeling for some time now.

    I have been thinking that I have lost my self and I am not the same person I once was. And it is so true. I was a mother that worked full time and still came home got my girls ,fixed dinner and put the kids to bed and then spent some time with my husband. But now my girls are grown up and don't live at home.

    The things I can do for them is so small. I can't go and help my youngest with getting her house cleaned up as I can't drive that far and I can't do the house work in my house so I really can't do much in hers and I can't lift my grandson as he is just to heavy. So where did that person go who carted around her baby who weighed 23 lbs at 6 months old? She is gone and that baby is a mommy now and is expecting baby #2 and weighs 122. I think I weighed that once apon a time but I can't remember when.

    When did I get to be so heavy? I used to walk all the time and now it is so hard to do. I don't feel so well this day as I have broncitis and I am sooooooo tired and just want to sleep. What is going on with me? I have things to do and I just don't want to do them.

    MY life has changed so much over the years. The things that were problems are not the same now. Where I once worked as a Dental Assistant , now I don't work at all and I am unable to work as a Dental Assistant again. My body is not the same it is just falling {or is that just me who is falling?} apart. I no longer can do the things of yesterday. Although there is much I still can do today but I get so tired so fast that I don't want to do any thing at all.

    Why is that? My head is so heavy and my chest is aching with each cough, My body feels like it is made of lead. and my head aches so bad . OUt side there is just to MUCH NOISE!!.This weekend is the Cruise In and there are many vintage cars at the fair grounds , I would love to see them all but it is far to hot and I feel so lousy so that is out . Tonight is the CRUISE IN and the cars have Main street from 6-8 pm, They will leave the fair grounds and drive by my house some where close to 300 or more cars and some really old harley davidson's and they are LOUD LOUD and so are the people driving them.

    Just a few years ago I would have gone to this and had fun. But now it is too LOUD and TOO FAR TOO MOVE NO PARKING. And it takes too much energy that I don't have any of. Just where did that energy go? I just had it some time ago and I must have lost it some where but where did it go?
    I don't know. I can't remmember things like I used to do. I tell things to my kids , and hubby over andover again .Till they can tell me what happened better than I can and It is my memory but I get it all confused and add to the story too. What is happening with my brain? Did I lose it too?

    LIfe is chagning far to fast and I just don't have the energy to run as fast I as need to just keep up. MY kids are gown up and are having babies too. A grandma am I going on 2. How I want to play with these little babes as soon they will be too big for me to lift. Where did it all go to and when did it leave? Who knows the answer to questions like these.
    I do know that there are things that make me happy too, to see my grandson walking to me and hugging so tight with his little hands patting on my back. Kisses I get from him all mouth , tounge and teeth . But he is still a babe and does not know that kisses don't mean that you slime your grammy too.

    I look forward to seeing him grow but I still wish that I had the energy to keep up with him now and as time goes on. My life is good , my hubby is more understanding now. But how sad it was that it took him getting very ill to make him understand that what I have is real too. And that he can't just eat what he please's as he has diebeties. That is what made him so sick , that and the stomcahe flu too. But the days that were spent in the ICU made him understand that he is not the one in charge, that dispite his illness he has to learn to eat better so he is not sick as for some strange reason when he gets sick I do too. And while he was in the hospital I got bronchitis.

    So now me and my acey , breaky booody are going to lay down before we fall down, my energies are long gone and the pain is back , it has announced taht it has taken control of my body and I better do some thing to make it feel better. Or I will pay with more pain.

    So off I go to get the meds that I must take so that I don't ache. Thanks for your love and concern , I thank you all for your loveing care.
    HUgs to all, I thank you so, HUGS HUGS HUGS,
    Rosemarie
  2. claudiaw

    claudiaw New Member

    I can relate to how you feel about yourself and your new limitations. It suck's frankly.

    I too have FM and MPS, I am going to a P.T. that does Myofascial release therapy, do you have one in your area? regular P.T. just doesn;t help me much.

    I hope you find some reielf and can enjoy doing those thing's you miss, i know I ahve many as well.

    There is also a book on Trigger Point Therapy that is pretty good. it show's you how to work on yourself if you can't go to a P.T.

    Get some rest, take care.

    claudia
  3. romanshopper

    romanshopper New Member

    What is MPS?

    I hope you get your disability. I am going to apply soon myself.