Real upset.....dad is going downhill

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by dleaning, Jul 5, 2006.

  1. dleaning

    dleaning New Member

    and I am having a hard time dealing with it. He is dying of Prostate Cancer. I just feel like my life is ending with his... Having a real hard time with it, bringing back memories of my mom dying 7 yrs. ago.

    I know this is stupid, I should be used to it by now, but I am not. Right now I am having a few glasses of wine to dull the pain.

    I know you all think that I shouldn't be doing that, but, this is the only way to deal with this right now. Please forgive me I just don't know how else to deal with this at this point.

    Sorry for the depressing message, but I just needed to vent.


    Thank you all.

    Dawn
  2. AquariusGirl

    AquariusGirl New Member

    I think it is only natural to feel upset. I hope it helps to know people are praying for u and your family.
  3. kholmes

    kholmes New Member

    I am very sorry to hear that.

    I hope you continue to spend time on the board, in this community. I will keep you and your father in my prayers tonight.

    Kholmes
  4. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    Dawn -

    So sorry to hear about your Dad.

    Do the best you can, and know that one day, you will see him again. It is his time to go and rejoin your Mom.

    They'll watch over their little girl from God's arms and know perfect peace and happiness.

    We are here for you.

    Hugs,
    Madame Curie
  5. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    No one gets used to losing a loved one. Your feelings are real and normal. You need to have a place to let your feelings out and I'm glad you can come to the board.

    Take it day by day and do care for yourself as well.
    Kathy.
  6. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Whatever helps you. It is hard watching a loved one suffer.

    I hope things don't get too awful for him and he is getting the best of treatments.

    Love Anne Cromwell

    Where in NJ do you live? We lived a while in Cape May area
  7. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    I lost my Dad in May....I am so sorry you are going through this pain. I will say a prayer for you both...

    ((((Gentle Hugs))))
    Pam
  8. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    I am so sorry you have to go through this with your dad. I know it is soooo hard. At least you have time to tell him you love him and all, I don't know if that makes it easier or not. My dad died suddenly of a heart attack, no one knew he was sick. Just try to be there for him as much as you can.

    I'll be praying for you!
    Kellyann
  9. dleaning

    dleaning New Member

    You have no idea how much these replys mean to me. I will keep you posted on how he is doing.

    Again MANY THANKS!!!!
    Love,
    Dawn
  10. dleaning

    dleaning New Member

    I live up in the northwest area of New Jersey (Washington). Funny, we were just down in Cape May a week ago. My husband's friend owns a house in N. Cape May. Beautiful area. We have been renting his house for the 3 year in a row, and I think we are going to make it a yearly thing of it.

    Thanks for asking!

    Dawn
  11. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    I am so sorry you and your dad are going thru this, please stay strong and know we are all here for you. you and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Ann
  12. tata1580

    tata1580 New Member

    are with you. I lost my dad almost a year ago from cancer. I can set here tonight and still feel what you are probably going through. I pray that this will be peaceful and pain free for him and know that you are not alone.

    Love and Prayers,
    Tami
  13. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    maybe think of the positive he will be with your mother and they will be happy to be w/one another and not in any pain....

    i had an uncle that died from prostate cancer....it went to the bones....he said he was ready to go see betty his wife that died on him while married for many years and had 3 daughters together....

    he did remarry but it was his time to go...atleast he had loving people with him...

    i wish you lot's of strength in the days ahead....

    jodie
  14. blessedmom2four

    blessedmom2four New Member

    (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))
    and prayers your way
  15. wildflowers2

    wildflowers2 New Member


    Major hugs....In 1997 my Dad's cancer came back and I
    got laid off from work in that Sept.So, I was able to be with im and the rest of my family along with hospice.
    He passed away in Jan.3,1998.

    Six months later my only brother was is a tragic car accident July 3rd,1998 and was in the shock trauma unit for 3 weeks. but butt head sister in law kept him on life support and would not produce the livign will.
    He passed away July 27,1998.

    7 months from that date my Mother signed the house over to me(Feb 17th) and said you have been a good daughter, I love you and
    will miss you when I am gone. She took a stroke the next day.Feb. 18th. I brought her home on my 42nd bday on Feb 23rd. My late brothers bday was Feb 24th.

    She passed away on Feb 27,1999.

    So, yeah, more hugs you never get used to it.

    But, I keep saying one day we will all be together again.

    have you looked into a brievement group? reguarding you Mom...

    I had done that route. To me it was 'safety in numbers' with others to share with.


    I still get in my moods around my angel days.



    In my thoughts an prayers.

    Wildflowers2








  16. tejanya

    tejanya New Member

    i got a chance to tell my dad and mom thanks for the faith in god they taught me, even though we did not attend church. the simple things to pass on to others. the joy of having thier love unconditionally and to share that love with others; even when they try to change you.
    the hadest thing i said was that i knew they hurt and that i had to let them go. in my heart i knew that was the best thing for them, not me. and that is the bottom line of what a real parent (not biological) does and teaches the offspring.
    my folks have been gone over 10 years, but the love has never left.
    Father, give this family the comfort and jot they need at this time and always. amen.
  17. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I know how hard this must be for you. Bless you for being there for your Dad. I pray for strength for you and peace for you and your family.

    Love, Mikie
  18. onlythestrong

    onlythestrong New Member

    You just go ahead and vent if that's what you need right now but PLEASE look at the light at the tunnel when our loved ones suffer it is so much harder.
    I say this from heart I too have lost both of my parents and thought life was over but you know it's gods will and in the end you will be a stronger person.
    But always remember you have a whole bunch more family right here when you need us.
    Love,hugs, and strong thoughts are with you,
    Mary
  19. TAM

    TAM New Member

    HI DAWN ITS NOT STUPIED AT ALL SWEETIE, YOU NEVER GET USED TO SOMEONE YOU LOVE DYING. AND WHEN THERE GONE ITS NEVER EASY TO DEAL WITH NOR DOES THE PAIN OF LOSING THEM GO AWAY. HOWEVER WITH TIME MAYBE YOU CAN ACCEPT IT. BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. AND YOUR MOM IS IN A BETTER PLACE AND YOUR DAD WILL BE IN A BETTER PLACE TOO. WITH NO PAIN OR HURT OF ANY KIND. PLEASE KNOW YOUR NOT ALONE I DON'T KNOW YOU BUT I CARE DEEPLY FOR YOU YOU SHALL BE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS FROM THIS DAY ON. I STILL MISS MY GRANDPARENTS MY UNCLE AND MY FRIEND. AND ITS BEEN 20 YRS SINCE THE LOSS OF MY GRANDMA AND 14 YRS FOR MY GRANDDAD. THE PAIN NEVER GOES AWAY SOME DAYS ARE WORSE THEN OTHERS BUT WE MUST GO ON. SO DAWN TRY TO BE STRONG AND PLEASE KNOW YOUR NOT ALONE I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I'M GLAD THAT YOU HAVE THIS MESSAGE BOARD TO VENT, YOU NEED TO LET PEPOLE KNOW KNOW HOW YOU FEEL DON'T HOLD YOUR FEELINGS INSIDE. TRY NOT TO DRINK A FEW GLASSES OF WINE TO DULL THE PAIN HON BECAUSE WHEN THE WINE WEARS OFF THE PAIN WILL STILL BE THERE MAYBE EVEN WORSE BECAUSE THE BUZZ FROM THE WINE IS GONE. I'M NOT JUDGEING YOU I SPEAK FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE IN HAVING A FEW MIXED DRINKS TO EASE MY PAIN, IT DID'NT I KNOW NOT TO DO THAT NOW. BUT WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO OR WHERE TO TURN A DRINK DOES SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA TO NUMB THE PAIN. I'M HERE FOR YOU. SORRY TO GO ON AND ON. I'M NEW TO THIS MESSAGE BOARD. THIS IS THE FIRST POST I EVER WROTE. I READ YOUR MESSAGE AND IT PULLED AT MY HEART STRINGS. KNOW YOUR NOT ALONE SWEETIE. MY NAME IS TAMMY AND I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU OFTEN. TAKE CARE. TAMMY
  20. winsomme

    winsomme New Member

    My Dad passed away last September and i was devastated. he had lymphoma and it all happened so very fast.

    just one thought. if we had been able to get him at all stabalized, i had planned to try to get him on Low Dose Naltrexone.

    this is a med that is sometimes talked about here for CFS, and in my reading about it, i found out that it is used by some with cancer.

    here is a website with all the info about it and the DR who prescribes it - Dr Bihari. he is able to do phone consults.

    www.ldninfo.org

    i don't know if you have any interest in this, but i thought i would relay the info just in case.

    i'll have you in my prayers.

    thanks
    bill
    [This Message was Edited on 07/06/2006]