really bad day /were appling for cash aid next monday

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by daylight, Jun 19, 2009.

  1. daylight

    daylight New Member

    We just had a huge set back . My husband just lost his edd because he had to have surgery ,now we have to apply for cash aid until he can get the edd started up again.
    I'm a mess. I just called the pharmacy about getting my enbrel script and it cost to much . Also we will be losing the KAiser ins really soon. So that means that I'm back on medi-cal with the horrible doctors that don't know anything about me. I don't even know if enbrel is covered on medi-cal ins. . I'm trying really hard not to cry for my family sake but its hard . Rent is due and all I get is 634 a month from disability. I know that we will qualify for aid but I don't know how fast they are about getting it to people in need. Plus this is humiliating. I can't believe that we are going have to use food stamps and cash aid. I know that it will only be for a short time but .... aughhhhhh I just am starting to get over a huge flare up and now this.
    Depending on what happens we may lose our internet service, which mean also no tv . Yeah, I'll be stuck at home with some very old movies=(. Where we live you have to have a cable hook up just to get basic tv ,phone ,internet. Well we will be able to get local phone service but not toll or long distance.
    I shouldn't be complaining there are many people going through the same problems. I'll be better after I pray. Sorry for the pity party. This news hit us hard today.

    D.
  2. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Thank you for your prayers. I know that there is a Library somewhere around here but I don't know where . I'll have to ask my husband about that .
    Its so hard to not have health ins. when you need it. I'll be praying for you and your husband to. These are hard time we live in but I know God will get us through it .

    Thank you

    D.
  3. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry to hear about your situation, your husband's loss of DDS and possible loss of your good insurance and doctors. That is horrible . I know you all must be very frustrated and upset..

    I am praying for your strength through all this and that things change real soon for the better. Yes, a library would be good if you can no longer post at home. Lord knows how we need this board for strength.

    May God bless you and your family.

    Blessings and hugs,

    Granni
  4. daylight

    daylight New Member

    This really has be hard. Yesterday my daughter got really sick .Vomiting ,fever the works. But she was healed right after praying for her . So I God's in control of our situation.
    Today my husband and I went down to file the paperwork . We were told right away that we couldn't get cash aid because we have no children under 18 yrs but that we can apply for foodstamps,medi-cal (reinstatement) and general relief funds (which is a state loan program).
    I'm not to happy about applying for a loan though. I even hate credit cards (which I don't use) . I don't like knowing that when my husband gets a job that his check may be garnished. Makes me sick to my stomach.
    But I'm trusting God to help us make the right decision here.
    We are sure that we'll be able to get food stamps and the medical stuff but we need help with the bills and rent.
    And also out transmission is going on our car. My husband is going nuts.
    I truly would like to know God's plan right now but I'll try not to be questioning His decisions.
    Theres more going on.But I won't bore you all with it.

    Thank you all for your prayer and encouragement . It is such a relief and blessing to have you all here.

    D.
  5. windblade

    windblade Active Member


    Praying for all of your needs!

    Love,

    Judy
  6. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Things are really bad. We applied for food stamps today and got approved . This is good but no cash aid or general relief .
    SO we can eat but we have to find a way to pay the rent before the 3rd of next month. Also be able to pay bills . I can let the electric and gas bill go for a couple months but the car payment and car insurance have to be paid. Plus the transmission is going on the car!
    My husband is so upset he's been yelling at me. I know not to take it personally but I really don't see how cussing at me is helping the situation any.
    Tomorrow we will be trying to get housing assistance . He can't re register for EDD until they send him the form for the week of Jun17. This is the date that the doctors said that he can go back to work. Then he'll be waiting until that gets approved again and this could take awhile.
    All this is happening because he told the truth about not being able to work because he had to have surgery . I now that it was the right thing to do and the God will honor him for being honest but I sure wish that my hubs would be a bit kinder. My daughter and I our also in this with him . Meanness never make anything better. I wish could see this.
    Well we will have a computer,phone and TV until they cut us off or if we have to move out. I hope that it doesn't come to that though . We don't have anywhere else to go .

    Maybe tomorrow well be better but at least we can eat. I'm thankful for everything that the Lord is doing ,its just very scary .
    [This Message was Edited on 06/23/2009]
  7. windblade

    windblade Active Member


    I'm in one of those brain-scattered times. But I wanted you to know that I'm praying for all of your needs, and all aspects of your situation. I'm so sorry about the way your husband is reacting - that is so hurtful.

    Please keep writing and up-dating us.

    Love, Judy
  8. daylight

    daylight New Member

    Today the sun is shining here,I woke up breathing ,my family is somewhat healthy and I was able to get our Medi-cal re instated. I was also able to get 2 appointments for the eye doctor so my husband and I will be able to get new eye glasses before the July 1 cut off date. Over here Medi-caid won't have vision or dental coverage after July1. I really need to see the dentist but its not urgent and my eye's are an urgent need.
    So this is a blessing.
    For housing help there are 2 programs that we may qualify for But we aren't sure yet as we've not filed the paperwork or gone down there yet. Hubs just got out of bed. So I'll let you all know what happen there later.
    Pray that the transmission doesn't go out on the car! please and that the housing authorities can help us . I'm trying hurt to be trusting the Lord in all things . But my husband snippy attitude is waring me down. Also there is a woman who live in our apartment that is talking to my husband alot. She make me feel very uncomfortable. I trust the hubs but he doesn't see her flirting . I just met her yesterday and when we all were talking she seem to direct her attention almost souly to my husband and he was really to friendly with her. But that is he nature, he's that way with everyone.
    I don't think that this woman is trying to hit on my hubs but my discernment of her says to stay on guard.
    We are just being tested at in all areas it seems. So that brings me to wonder what God is going to be using us for?
    Please pray the my husband stays strong as he's still a young christian.
    I write more later.
    Love you all,

    D.
  9. Sweetpotatoe

    Sweetpotatoe New Member

    I'm really sorry for your struggles, I know its so hard.

    Somehow someway there will be relief, just keep doing what you can and praying.

    You have a huge burden with your hubby.

    Try to keep calm I know its so hard.

    Love Cindy.
  10. daylight

    daylight New Member

    It didn't go well at the housing authorities. They said that they have no emergency fund available right now and are not taking applications for section 8 vouchers. So she gave me two forms to mail in , in hopes that "maybe" we will get a call back to let us know that we are on the list. But it will take them between 1 month to 6 months to let us know "if" we are on the list. After being on the "list" it can take 2 to 3 years to get to the top of the list .
    We also called the Untied Way who gave us yet another number that may help us pay rent ,but we can't call them until July 7th and they only take first 25 people a month.
    I also called my step father. What a mistake that was. He told me to go to the army surplus and by a tent! Then I told him that we just spent our last few dollars buying bath soap,shampoo,deodorant at the 99 cents store. After that he says "will you can live free in a tent" and "there are places that you can camp free".
    I don't know how much more I can take . When I talk to my husband all he does is yell at me. I wish that I was exaggerating but its true. Today when he called about finacial assistance and the Untied Way gave him the # to call. I ask my husband "if we needed to be a this place early to be one of the first 25 people " and he started screaming at me "didn't you just hear me say that the woman on the phone said to call them on the 7th at 8:30!" After that I tried to go into the kitchen to do the dishes and he follows me and starts screaming that I just want to twist things my way to make myself feel better.
    The only reason why I ask the question was because it doesn't make sense to me to just call them on that day when I know that they will require proof of our hardship.
    Also last night I had a talk with him about our "female nieghbor" who dog he's walking . And that I just do trust her.
    I told him that I've only spoke with her twice and both times she cuts me off in mid sentence . She also puts my down . Saying that she doesn't believe that I have RA or anything else and that my doctors (who are specialist) are wrong in diagnosing me. My husband says that she doesn't really mean to be insulting me but what other way is there to take her comments. And her obvious flirting with my husband? Of course he just says that it's not that way and I'm just jealous.
    I told him when have I ever been jealous of any other woman you've talked to in the past ? He had to think about that .
    It just makes me so angry that for the past 9 mos. I've tried to get him to walk our dog and he wouldn't but now he'll do this for a stranger? And he'll spend more time talking to her that he does with me ?
    I know that he's not having an affair but this looks bad for a married christian man to be acting overly friendly with a single woman. But he thinks its funny that I'm so concerned about this as he sees it as trivial.
    I'm just freaking out over here. He's putting off tell tomorrow to talk to our apartment manager about the situation . I know that they will let us pay the rent late but they'll charge a 75.00 late fee . Plus our car is about to brake down.

    I can't even cry because I get yelled at. I have to go into the bathroom to have a meltdown. I so sick of this . If he'd just appreciate what my daughter and I do it would make things better. Things like washing the clothes by hand. A thank you would be nice,but no I get yelled at.

    And get this if he were single then his family would let him live with them but because he married" a non catholic" I'm treated like I don't exist by his family. My family would take us in "if" they had the room but they don't.

    Our pastor is friends with my husband and doesn't know or care about the way he treats he's family. So I get no support there .
    Also I need an ultra sound of my throat/thyroid because we never had a mass re checked a few years back . Now I can feel something like stuck on the side of my throat. Its been there about a month or so .
    I feel like I can't breath today. I still trust God and that will never stop but the fire is very hot here . I need things to easy up some . At least that God would change my husbands heart about me .

    I'm sorry all . I really didn't intend on venting .
    I thank you all so much for your prayers and encouragement .
    Some how God will make a way for us and all the other out there that our going through this fiery time too.
  11. Sweetpotatoe

    Sweetpotatoe New Member

    I'm so so sorry for your suffering.

    I am in the fire too, and I have been where you are now with abuse.

    You need to leave, You need to be safe, you need to take your kids and get out, what you are experiencing is abuse.

    You won't have good headspace and rational thinking until the pressure is taken off, believe me I have just been there.

    You know God never put you on the earth to be abused and mistreated, You are the daughter of the king.

    I'm not saying your marriage is over, God can turn any situation around, but girl you need some space, Please Lord make a way for daylight to get safe.

    I know your heart is servanthood, you are decent and caring, loving and loyal, I know because I am too, however that doesn't mean you can be abused.

    In our interactions with others, people from there own brokenness will dump all their crud on you. We are people that play fairly, ready to give and serve, but others are not playing the game our way, they just can't because they have problems. I hope you get this revelation, I know I couldn't until I was out of the situation, for me it was my mum and my partner and my exhusband! man I am the common denominator, I'm finding a new way, and man its a hard lesson, I'm trying to love and serve myself just like I do others, I'm going to treat myself as well as I treat others.


    Daylight, I pray for answers, I pray for a shortcut although God usually takes us the long way, he has all the time in the world and he loves us so much he wants us to learn. I am afraid your husband will not change, statsics show that unless he gets real and gets professional help he will remain the way he is.

    I know how tired and weary you truly are, and there is no provision in the welfare sysyem, but somehow someway God will see you through, I pray for an oasis of peace to come upon you.

    God Bless.

    Love Cindy.


  12. jole

    jole Member

    I too am praying that a solution will show itself to you soon, and that you can hold onto God's promise of seeing you through.

    Has your hubby ever been abusive to you in the past, or do you think it's just the pressure of all this stuff getting to him? Either way, it's not right, but more understandable if it is something new. Perhaps he just needs a friend (but not the woman) to vent to instead of taking it all out on you! Yet men seem to have too much pride to confide their troubles with another man.

    I would certainly try to calmly explain to him that this is affecting all of you, not just him, and you need to be supportive of each other. If that upsets him worse, then perhaps some time apart would be wise. Bad times do make some people very angry and uncontrollable.

    As for the other woman...I'm sure she makes him feel better about himself, and makes him forget his troubles; BUT if you can't trust him in bad times, can you trust him in good times? What a mess!

    Financial problems can make a mess of every aspect of a person's life, and you are certainly going through it, aren't you? I feel so sorry for you, and know how difficult this must be.

    You have a start with the food stamps...I wish you well with your other endeavors. It sounds like you're trying all the right avenues for help. All you can do is the best you can do...and turn the rest over to God...he will answer in his way, in his time.

    Prayers and love.....Jole



  13. daylight

    daylight New Member

    You both are so sweet . For me separation is not an option . He's just been mentally abusive but I'm not excusing his behavior by any means. If I were to leave unfortunately where we live all the shelters are full and family aren't willing to let us move in with them. He is better today which is good but things are not good between us. I can't talk to him about any subject right now . I've been praying that our pastor has good discernment in this matter and will talk to my husband .

    In the meantime I've been racking my brain as to what we can sell to make the money to pay rent this July. Most of what we have is just junk but we do have a nice bunk bed that is in new condition . So I've place an add over here to hopefully sell that. God willing it will get sold fast.

    At least I am able to get my eyes checked this Saturday and get a pair of glasses. This was a miracle appointment as medi-cal is cutting vision and dental care as of July 1. Plus my eyes are getting worse. I've been having new blind spots and my vein don't look right in my eyes ,so is really good that I'm able to see the eye doctor. Being legally blind this is really scary for me.
    Not sure what to do about the lady next door. She came to our apartment yesterday but this time didn't stay that long. She just thanked my husband for walking her dog. Turns out that her daughter is coming home and she most likely will be taking over walking her pooch. So that's good unless my husband continues to volunteer which could happen.

    I know that God is testing us for a reason but I'd surely would like to understand things better. Sweetpotatoe your in my prayers. I am so sorry that I've not address your need earlier.
    I've been a bit self adsorbed theses days and needed to think of others more than myself. Please forgive my selfishness.

    I'll write more later .

    D.
  14. Doznclan3

    Doznclan3 New Member

    when it rains, it pours, you are probably thinking that this saying was made just for you right now!
    I will also be praying for you and your situation....s! You keep praying sweetie. Pray for your husband's eyes to be open to the fact that he isn't handling this very well at all.
    It's so hard to give a person that's going through so much, advice. I know that the best one to go to for that is the Lord..He will let you know that He is there for you. Feel of His love for you. A test? Sure, pray that you will learn something from this experience. I'm sure that you will gain something very helpful from it all. Here's hoping and praying that the rainstorm is almost over.
    Love, Cynthia
  15. Sweetpotatoe

    Sweetpotatoe New Member

    Praying for you daylight, I know you are so tired and weary, I pray for Gods provision for you.

    Love Cindy.
  16. windblade

    windblade Active Member


    I was just talking to my nun friends, and asked for prayer for your whole situation. Finances, relationships, etc.

    It will be a whole convent of loving prayer warriors praying for you!

    Please keep venting here - it's so important to express your feelings, and have a place to share, and people that understand and care.

    Sending love and prayers,
    Judy
  17. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    you dont leave your husband just because he shouts a few times when things are stressful. People normally let off steam that way. Im glad you said separation is not an option right now because i dont think theres enough reason to take such a drastic step! If my husband had to leave me because i was snippy and nasty then he would have a long time back 20 ears ago because i used to get horrible every time my periods came up. And i would probably of left him because he was so rough around the edges and hot tempered. Time has mellowed us down.
    When you are both NOT angry you need to address this issue of his outbursts and tel him its hurting you and not helping at all and listen to what he says also.

    About this other lady, she sounds like bad news. I never ever respected a woman who made a play for another womans man. Im pretty sure she knows how you feel about this. If she was a nice lady she would lay off simply because she knows it doesnt make you feel good. There have been times when ive thought another woman was making a play or flirting with my husband; I handled it in one way. Told them straight off - STOP! I know what youre trying. Dont try any funny business with me. Of course you have to know at what point to say this to the woman and your man. When things get too heated and before a crisis occurs.

    Also its irritating ahout her brushing off your fibro like that, i know its normal for non sufferers but cant a person be polite and make polite noises and sympathise rather than tell someone its all a joke? Tell your husband youre already stressed out, and his over friendliness with this woman or vice versa is NOT making you feel happy and can he respect that? Dont shout this out. Tell him when youre calm. Ask him how he would feel if you started making overfriendy overtures to another man when youre both going thru such hard times.

    Im praying for these hard times to come to an end. meanwhile since i know yu are under tremendous stress, can you do some breathing exerciss or relaxing exercises when yore alone. Just breathing calmly and watching your breath for like three mins will give your body time to throw out the stress and rejuvenate you so you can be strong and positive till the good times come around again. Which they will. Just hang on.

    Good luck

    God Bless



  18. springwater

    springwater Active Member

    i have always had this uncomfortable feeling in my throat and a sort of adams apple..and got it checked out twice by an ENT.doc...both times was told it was because of gastric in the stomach, which in turn was because of stress...and i dont need to have anything done about it...this was like 20 years ago..if it was something serious it should have killed me by now. The doc wasked me if i had a lot of mucus and i did. I wonder if your mass is somethng similar. By all means get it cheked out but dont worry unduly.

    God Bless