really stressing

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by minkanyrose, Oct 9, 2006.

  1. minkanyrose

    minkanyrose New Member

    I feel like I can't take much more. My mom is leaving for texas for the winter next monday, and on the same morning I go to court for custody hearing for 16 yr old daughter.

    My 17 yr old is home today from School with a migraine, due to crying almost all last night. Her dad left a message on her cell phone yesterday at noon. She said she wasn't ready to hear his argueing and complaining.

    Well he called a couple more times and last night at 9 pm he called again so she answered. He was mad because of my daughter going to cater a wedding with his Girlfriend and Kaylee told his g-friend she was so sick of her dad.

    Her dad wanted to know why she just didn't call and complain to him not his g-friend she told her dad she has told him many times but it goes in one ear and out the other.

    Well the conversation went to poor pitiful wooes me (her dad whining)

    when my daughter got off the phone she was crying so hard she couldn't catch her breath I just held her tight. she told me All i have wnated my whole life was a dad, why can't he just be my dad?

    He wants me to give him another chance but I don't want to be hurt again, she told me. When I talk to him she says it is like a stranger saying I love you, She said I don't even know who he is, other than an alcoholic, abusive and mean man.

    She was so upset, mom I am turning 18 in a few days and I can't remember having a dad, we all know how much girls just want to be the apple of their dad's eye. I hurt so bad for her and see what he does to her, She said I know I have to shut him out of my life but it's so hard.

    This is one of those times I just want to take away all her pain wash out the cut and tell her to go back out and play but that doesn' work now.

    I fell like I have to continue to pick up the peices he just walks in and scatterd all over the place. now he is sending my daughter into migraines again this isn't the first time.

    just need incouragement to face yet another day. thank you all.
  2. springlakeorphan

    springlakeorphan New Member

    Good morning Mink..This was like looking in a mirror a few years ago. The things I have learned.First of all....a custody hearing of a 16 year old? I thought at age 13, they made up their own mind as to where to live.Sweetie, you gotta get kids in counsiling of some kind. You must take care of you. If you are broken, then you cannot support them very well.The kids are going to be hurt. Not much you can do to avoid that. I know you want to take their pain but right now you have to take care of you!!!You can't get too involved in the details of all the crap in their life.All of you stress to much over things that you have no control over.The kids have the right to ignore dad if they need to.I wish I had a magical pill for you to make it all go away.Sorry dear. I have a feeling that you are stronger than you think.You are in my thoughts and prayers.
  3. boltchik

    boltchik New Member

    Hope you can get the kids into counseling, they need to vent to someone who can help them with their feelings. As a mom, I am sure you are doing everything in your power to help them, but I am sure a professional could help you all learn how to deal with the situation. I am sorry your family has to go through this. I will say a prayer for you and hope that you are able to find a counselor to help you out. Kim :)
    [This Message was Edited on 10/09/2006]
  4. boltchik

    boltchik New Member

    We have joint custody of my stepson. We went to court over it when he was 5 yrs. old. They told us he could make up his own mind as to who he wanted to live with when he was about 12 if they felt he was mature enough. Luckily, we all get along, so at 15 he still wants to go back and forth. But if your 16 yr. old doesn't want to, I think she has the option not to. That's the law here in California, I don't know what it is in Iowa. Just wanted to tell you in case you have other options. Kim :)
  5. Susan07

    Susan07 New Member

    Wow, that is alot of stress. I've never had to go thru this but do realize adding stress to our illness is extremely hard on us.

    As the saying goes - time heals all wounds. I don't really feel they completely heal but at least get more bearable.

    I'll be thinking of you and your's today, hope you can get some help.

    Take care,
    Susan07