Recently diagnosed and having a hard time dealing.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Sdavis6905, Apr 5, 2013.

  1. Sdavis6905

    Sdavis6905 New Member

    Hi everyone! My name is Sherri Davis and I am a SAHM of 4 children living in Eastern NC. I was recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia after seeing my family doctor for almost 2 years for back and neck pain. I have struggled with depression for years (before FM dx). I have begun to notice that my depression is getting worse with my recent diagnosis. My muscle weakness makes it hard to carry my children and I cannot do things like I used to. I have no one close to me to talk to on how I am feeling. My husband tries to understand but can't really. My housework is falling behind. My kids are not getting the mommy they used to have. I don't feel like myself anymore. I'm on all kinds of meds. Can anyone recommend any vitamins that I can start taking that may help me? I really appreciate any help that anyone can give.
  2. ameilie73

    ameilie73 Member

    ..My names Ameile i live in london england, i do not have any children of my own however my sister suffered depression after having my niece and two nephews all 2 years apart and i was very much involved with them. I remember rocking them as babies to get them off to sleep and all though throughly soaking up them moments as they dont stay babies forever, i use to suffer for it with increased muscle spasm and pain the next day. You could actually see my shoulder muscles visibly shake.

    I use to have to put my heat pad on to warm my muscles and relax them, i now use a homedics massage cushion which i can use to cover my whole back although at first i used a tennis ball or squash ball in one leg of a pair of tights stood with the ball between me and the wall and massaged my neck and back moving the ball in this way before i purchased the shiastu pillow, the tights stopped it falling on the floor . Then i put a cold spray on the area something with camphor or menthol is ok that was to keep the muscle in shape.

    See our muscles are not the same as others there short and tight, trigger points (which are tight knots) in the muscle can shorten the muscle fibre. So as with us all with fibro heat becomes your best friend.

    Get your medication sorted as well, theres lots of choice and not everything agrees with everyone. There are some wonderful and knowledgable people that will do a far better job at suggesting supplements however i take magnesium citrate and co -enzyme Q10. There are a few other things people have suggested but i have tp run them past my allergy consultant first.

    I am taking low dose amitripyline (have for years) just to keep my mood up a bit and help sleep. I take 2mg melatonin for sleep. Buscopan of irritable (bloating) bowel, and sometimes diazepam when muscle spasm is bad. Ive tried losts of combinations over the years. I take paracetamol for pain, although i do have the choice to take co-codamol. Oh i take omeprazole for acid reflux. Fibro is a systemic illness so it affects most body systems.

    Anyway, with the children i had to learn to adapt because i just couldnt hold them for the petiod i time i had. But they adjusted. Found out quite happy to fall asleep on my lap. And i just used lots of verbal encouragement. I couldnt physically join in anymore but the children still loved the attention. Its about adjusting, doing little bits of housework at a time, cutting out things that are not necessary, ironing bed sheets and underwear. In fact i cut out ironing all together found if i hung my wet washing up it dried pretty wrll.

    Find out as much as you can about fibro. But try and get help with your depression and make sure you are sleeping.

    We do have to adjust our lifestyles i struggle with it, the acceptance of it because i have a pre fibro life in comparison and so many things i want to do. Its not an easy balancing act, especially with four children how old are they?

    But your here and people are very supportive on this site.

    Heartfelt wishes

    Ameile ( ive found this website helpful in general for things fibro related)

    ( search tips for mums with fibromyalgia for more helpful advice too there are quite a few sites).

    [This Message was Edited on 04/05/2013]
    [This Message was Edited on 04/05/2013]
    [This Message was Edited on 04/05/2013]
  3. ... And welcome to this board. Your post brought tears to my eyes because I know exactly what you're feeling and dealing with...

    I am also a SAHM and was diagnosed with FM in 1995 when my three older children were very young... I had a nine year gap between my 3rd and 4th child, so I still have a child at home who is 11.

    I don't deal with clinical depression, but my long journey with illness (also have ME/CFS since Jan. 2004) has certainly caused me to get situational depression from time to time... Usually only lasts a couple of days, but those 2 days seem like 2 years when you feel so low and hopeless. Are you taking anything for the depression?

    Sherri, so much of what you have expressed mirrors what I have felt and thought over the years: "my kids are not getting the mommy they used to have" ... I have said the same thing to my husband many times and cried about it. "I have no one close to me to talk to"... All my friends, and even family, faded away as my illness hung on. "My husband tries to understand but can't really" ... Same is true here... I don't think ANYONE can understand unless they suffer with these DD. " I don't feel like myself anymore" ... I have often said to my husband that I feel like a shell of my former self...

    So please know that I understand, and many on this board will too.

    Have you tried finding a good integrative doc? For me, meds only made my condition worse. There is a website for finding integrative and alternative med docs in your area called Most integrative docs are VERY familiar with FM and can help you decide which supps are best.

    I am on quite a few vitamins, minerals and herbs. And before I was struck down with the ME/CFS, and only had the FM (and thyroid issues) to deal with, I took a soy protein powder and vitamin powder recommended by a local homeopath mixed in juice every morning which included a combination of plant- based oils (essential fatty acids) called "Udo's Choice" which has a lot of healthy oils like primrose, flax, coconut oil and others. This multi vitamin powder and protein powder is more easily absorbed than pills, as you dissolve it in juice and drink.

    I can't tell you how much this concoction helped me. And I also started exercising slowly and building my strength back up which helped, as long as I didn't overdo it. Also, i did stretches for each muscle group before and after exercise. But when the CFS/ME kicked in some years later, it was a game changer. Exercise is no longer an option and I searched for years to find out what was wrong with me... Took 6 years to get the diagnosis of ME/CFS and I am still trying different things in the hopes of finding something to turn my health around.

    Magnesium is important to take with fibro... I take additional magnesium in the form of magnesium Glycinate so that I don't get diarrhea, which the other form can cause.

    Also, warm soaks in a bathtub of Epsom salts does wonders to help sore, stiff and aching muscles and joints... This has helped me immensely.

    Oh, and sleep is crucial! Without proper sleep, we can't heal and our symptoms get worse. But sleep is a huge challenge for most of us. I take a natural sleep supplement and lemon balm and magnesium and 5 mg of melatonin at bedtime. I still deal with sleep issues from time to time though.

    Sherri, you spoke of muscle weakness, which I suffer with also... However, my muscle weakness did not get to be a real problem till the M.E./ CFS kicked in. If you can find a good integrative doc who is knowledgable about both FM and ME/ CFS, or a specialist like Dr. Lapp who is in Charlotte, NC, you might want to ask them to check you for ME/CFS as well. And also test you for Lyme and MS since those all have similar symptoms... Lupus maybe too.

    Please know that I care, Sherri, and others on this board will too... You can always come here for support, prayer, friendship and questions. I've been on this board since July 2012 and it has really blessed me as I travel this difficult journey of illness. I hope it will bless you too... And let you know that you're not alone...

    I will be lifting you up in prayer, Sherri. Please keep me posted on how you're doing... We have much in common, so I hope I can encourage you along the way. God bless you!

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,

    [This Message was Edited on 04/05/2013]
  4. ... that I hope will encourage you...

    Over time, I came to realize that even though my kids didn't have the same mommy they were used to, my illness forced me to slow down and not try to cram so much into each day. And the result was that my kids got a more laid-back mom who had more patience.

    And I found things that I could do with them from my bed, if I had to be bed bound at times... Things like playing "I spy" when they were young, with them laying next to me... Or throwing a pair of folded socks (folded into a ball) back and forth with them standing at the foot of the bed (when I had the energy)... Or watching some of their favorite shows with them... Or coloring with them... Or board games or cards, when I was up to it...

    I just had to adapt what we did together to my energy level and how I was feeling... And sometimes it was just talking with them... Or reading to them (which I always loved!)

    And when I was very ill, I had to get the older siblings to help with the younger ones... Simple things like, bringing me their sibling's diaper and wipes so I could change the youngest one on my bed, etc... I also taught them how to help feed their baby brother, and eventually to change his diaper, when I couldn't.

    I also made a list of chores for them to do (age appropriate) to help around the house. That was probably one of the hardest things... Letting them do things that weren't going to be done as well as if I had done them, but it taught them responsibility... And they would check things off as they went... And if they did their chores when they were suppose to and with a good attitude, they got a small reward at the end of the week.

    While not a perfect system, (since one of my children has ADHD, and made this a challenge), overall it did help... And the kids actually enjoyed feeling helpful (until the teenage years, that is :/ but that's another story! LOL!) And no, my house wasn't as clean as when I was doing it myself, but it was definitely better than nothing. I just had to adjust my expectations... Not always easy, I know...

    If the depression is clinical and is not kept in check, though, I know these things I mentioned will be difficult, if not impossible. Do you suffer with clinical or situational depression... Because these things actually lifted my spirits and helped me not feel so useless...

    What are the children's ages???

    One more positive note, the isolation caused me to draw closer to The Lord, which helped me to know The Lord more and have a much, much closer relationship with Him, that I wouldn't have had otherwise... I do still have my days though, when I get fed up and just want my health back... But that's just part of being human... And I still hope that I WILL get my health back... And I hope that for you and everyone on this board as well, Sherri!!

    I don't know if this helps or not, but I hope it helps encourage you, even a little. Continuing to pray.... Let us know how you're doing...

    Blessings and Gentle Hugs,

    P.S. dietary changes can also help our condition... Most of us have delayed food allergies that put more strain on our system and bring on horrible symptoms. Most common culprits are wheat, dairy and sugar. You can get a blood test through an integrative doc to check for food allergies.

    [This Message was Edited on 04/05/2013]
    [This Message was Edited on 04/05/2013]
  5. Thanks for sharing that great info... You are so right about the effects of thyroid issues on our body... Basically effects EVERYTHING! And can cause such horrible symptoms... Unfortunately, many docs don't order the full battery of thyroid labs and misinterpret results... So many who have thyroid issues don't even know they have a thyroid problem...

    And you are so right about the Vit. D as well... A couple of years ago, my huz was having what appeared to be hypothyroid symptoms... Turned out that his Vit. D was critically low! He had to take mega doses for a while to get it back up... And he continues now to take 5000 IU daily...

    Thanks for sharing this with Sherri... It's good to cover all the bases and check into these things if she hasn't already...

    Sherri, I hope you will let us know how you are doing... Still praying...

    [This Message was Edited on 04/05/2013]
  6. IanH

    IanH Active Member

    It is critical that you increase your vitamin D levels. This supplement is by far the most important vitamin to take for chronic pain and back pain in particular and where you suffer depression.

    I recommend you take 5000IU of vitamin D3 daily.
    Already recommended is magnesium, which I strongly agree
    I also recommend vitamin K2 (at least 100mcg)
    Zinc 25 mg daily
    vitamin B12 (methyl-cobalamin, 1mg to 2 mg sublingual lozenge)

    I also strongly suggest Omega-3 FA, in particular EPA/DHA in the ratio 5:1 This is the most anti-inflammatory mix and supports vitamin D function. (Higher DHA is required for cardiac health).

    These are the most important to start with. They act as a set, so best to take the full set. After about 3months you may be able to reduce your medication.

    There are others you can choose to add later but don't start with too much.

    Others to add later, may be:
    acetyl carnitine
    MTHF (methyl terahydrofolic acid, or methyl folate)
    [This Message was Edited on 04/06/2013]
  7. Realette

    Realette Member

    Just wanted to add to the great suggestions, with 4 children is there any way you can find a bit of part time help? Maybe a teenage girl after school or a nursing student? I realize it will cost a bit, but may be well worth it, even for a few hours a week.