Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Busyknitter2, Jan 19, 2007.

  1. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Hi Rene. Our old thread was getting very long. How are you and your Mom?

    Daddy is having a hard time of adjusting. He has been to the jail twice. First time to get a phone card for my brother, you can only get the ones they sell in the jail lobby. Second time today, to put some money in his comissary account. Bud put a little in there but they took it for the jail entrance fee. He had to get denture adhesive and it is $5.00 at the commisary. Daddy talked to him once and he is doing ok. He said that he had been reading the bible.

    It is so hard for Daddy to get out and run here and there, I told him to tell my brother if he needs anything to call me. I live alot closer than my Dad does and it is just to hard on my Daddy. I still have not heard from my brother and I don't know if I will.

    Alan and Alexis are doing ok. I don't know who Draven looks like. I have a picture of him and one of Alexis on my table side by side and they seem to have alot of the same features. It just depends. Since she finally changed his formula and actually started using the playtex bottles he is not throwing up.

    I am really sorry that you are still going thru so much with your brother. I hope that it will end for you soon.

    I have been really down. I am trying to stay busy and keep my mind off of everything.

    Take care and let me know how things are.

    God bless; Pam
    [This Message was Edited on 01/19/2007]
  2. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, Sorry that your dad and you are having a hard time. You dad is so good to your brother. I didn't think he'd go there twice. I hope your brother straigtens up and I think the harder it is for him the better he won't end up there. Has he been there before? My brother has been in and out he don't care. He calls it the country club cause its way out in the middle of a field.

    I guess Alan's follow up went well and he is fine? My mom's dr increased her oxycotin as she was in so much pain and now shes really doped up bad. I don't like that as I was finally getting her back. I don't know whats worse. SHe talks like a major drunk and was almost falling asleep as I fed her.

    Pam was gone and I heard she is in the hospital. I will have to call and find out where she is.

    Yea I think I'm gonna have to pay $700 to get my brother out. He won't leave plus all the creaps in her house and he doesn't even send her a card.

    Well I hope your dad's worries go away and yours too as time goes by. He'll be alright as long as he doesn't start anything and sounds like he is not the type. Your dad is such a good dad to do that. Has he been in jail before?

    Well hope you're getting some rest.

    Take care,
  3. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Thank you for your kind words. Your right Daddy is a good Dad. I can not beleive all that my brother did to him. Stealing money, a ring my Mom got Daddy, his golf clubs out of the back of Daddy's car. Than he tells people how everyone is mean to him, we owe him money, and how he is the only one taking care of Daddy.

    I tried to do what I could. We gave him money, fed him, had him stay here, and we where just here. He used to call and just ramble and talk and we listened. He would tell us one thing and Daddy something different. At one point when Daddy was in Florida he was sending Bud money and he was also getting money from us.

    I guess you could say I am hurt as well as mad. I can only hope that this will straighten him out. I honestly think he needs mental help. Yes he has been in jail before, about ten years ago he served 30 days for DWI.

    I am so sorry that they are having to keep your Mom so doped up. She is very lucky to have you to care so much. She may not always act like it but she also knows what a wonderful daughter she has. Your right it is a shame that your brother can not even send her a card.

    What do you have to do know to get him out of the house. It is awful after everything that you still have to pay money to get the job done.

    Alan is doing ok. He still has a twinge where they cut him, and the Dr. told him to be careful lifting but he is back to normal.

    Thanks for listening. Please keep me posted on how things are with you.

    God bless; Pam
  4. Rene

    Rene New Member

    How are you, ALan, Draven and Alexis? Hope you're all ok. Has your dad seen Bud lately?

    I'm really tired so I don't think I'll make it to see my mom. I over did it with her yesterday. She is in a lot of pain and she looked really bad. They doubled her oxycotin to 60 from 30 plus shes on morphine 2 times a day and everything else. I just feel so bad for her.

    Pam is in the hopital again. I called her. She wasn't really able to tell me what is wrong she was talking about her dad. The nurse said it was the infection of her sore. They are getting my mom out of bed like they should but then they told me it could hurt her shoulder.

    I don't have any homes for the pets except the cat Milow probably can go to this rescue group.

    Also medicaid sent info and it looks like they want her house or she can transfer to me as I am totally disabeled. Well she can't transfer to me as she has tax deferred lein and home improvement so now i HAVE to see more lawyers.

    Well I guess thats all for now.

    Take care,
  5. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    It sounds like you still have more on your plate than any person needs. It sounds like Medcaid is as bad in your state as it is here. Years ago we where trying to get it for my Grandfather, he had nothing at all, they even rented. He had a small life insurance policy around $2000, we where told that was more than he could have. We had to go ahead and sign it over to a furnal home. It was in 86 so it was tuff times for us all. He passed away before Medicaid said rather he had it or not. We really did not have enough for a funeral. People work all of their lifes and when they get old it is tooken away from them.

    Everyone seems to be doing ok. Alan is depressed, he hasn't found a job yet and he says all he is going to have is bad luck. It tears me up to see him this way. The young ones are doing ok.

    I talked to my Daddy today. It is bad here with snow. I am going to go check on him tomorrow. He said that he was staying in. No he has not saw Bud. The two times he took things to the jail was not visiting times. My brother has not called him since he called and asked for money. That girl he was involved with did call and say she had talked to him.

    I am feeling awful I think things have caught up to me.

    I am sorry that you are feeling so tired, I know it is hard to get rest with eveything you have on your mind. I am so sorry that your Mom is hurting so bad. You guys are still in my prayers.

    Take care and let me know how things are.

    Hugs. Pam
  6. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, Well I'm glad the kids aren't sick for now. Alan has been through it thats for sure. It will get better for him. He needs to heal from his surgery and all the stess of having a baby and then baby in the hospital then he is in the hospital and him and Andreas relationship and Alexis being sick and him being an only parnent. Thats a lot plus now finding a job. I hope he starts feeling better.

    Oh I thought your dad was with your brother visiting. I'm glad he stayed in with all your snow your having.

    I didn't see my mom today. I just couldn't. I left the apartment for 20 min and thats it. Oh I ment to say they aren't getting her out of bed.

    Thats awful about your grandpa. That must have been really hard for you.

    I guess you and me are both trying to hold everything together. We gotta try to take care of ourselves. Hard to do I know.

    Well let me know the latest and hope you feel better soon.
    Take care,
  7. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Well guess what the Indianapolis Colts are going to the Super Bowl. We wathced the game here. Alan is really exicited. It did him good. Alexis had her Colts' cheerleader outfit on.

    I agree things will start getting better for him. He is at the stage where he doesn't think he will ever have any good luck.

    No Daddy did not get to visit with Bud when he went to the jail. His visitation time is Monday nights from 7:00-7:30. Daddy said he did not think that he would be able to go. It is just to much for him. I told him if he talks to my brother to tell him if he needs anything to call here. I don't think that will happen thou.

    What does the Dr. say about getting your Mom out of bed? Do they have any kind of physical therpy at the NH? Boy she has been thru alot.

    Do you think that either one of us will ever be able to take a day or two and not have anything to do except what we want to do and do for just ourselves?

    Take care, get some deserved rest and let me know how things are.

    God bless; Pam
  8. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi well thats good you enjoyed the football game. I'm glad Alan enjoyed himself. Hows everyone now? I hope ok. Did your dad go visit your brother tonight?

    I saw my mom and she is so drugged up. A super nice older Chinese aid who has been gone for a few months ( he slipped) came in to see us. I told him about my moms fall out of bed and he cried! He said to please get that rail up. Hes so nice. I wish my mom could have him as her nurse as they don't really like her.

    She was really doped up. I hate that. Pam is back and I took her my moms music player and played Elvis.

    Well I have a big headache and lots of worries. It looks like the house could be put in my name. I feel bad. I feel like I should just use the money and get her out of the nursing home. Only thing is I REFUSE to live in that house NO MATTER what. If she went home I WON"T supervise I just can't handle the stress. Plus if someone doesn't show up I can't take care of her.

    Well let me know how you're all doing.
  9. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Well guess what Draven is going to the hospital again. her and Alan got into it last night. She called a little bit ago and said that he had only one bottle in 12 hours and he threw that one up. She changed only one wet diaper all day, and he was real white, she gave him a breathing treatment and he sounded like he needed another one. The Dr. said to bring him in. It seems like everytime soemthing is not going her way something comes up. I made the comment to Daddy today that Draven had not been to the hospital in a couple of weeks.

    Alan and Alexis went with us to see Daddy, he perks up when he sees them. Alexis is crazy about him.

    Daddy did go and see my brother. It was very hard on him, he had troble finding a place to park, than my brother didn't think he was coming and did not put him down so he had to wait another 1/2 hour in the cold lobby. Daddy said that my brother was doing ok, he was bored and hated the food. He did tell Daddy to tell me hi. I went and tried to get him another phone card today and the machines where all out. He already used up the $20 Daddy got him last week. I don't want him to run up Daddy's phone bill.

    It sounds like the male aid is a blessing. It is a shame that they do not have more like him. I am so sorry that your Mom is still in so much pain. Is there nothing else that they can do to ease her pain other than keeping her doped up?

    Just remember if the house goes in your name it will keep Medicaid from getting it. I am sure that your Mom would want you to have it. Your right it would be to much for you to take care of her yourself. You are doing eveything that you possibly can for your Mom.

    Please take the time to take care of yourself. I am not the right person to tell you not to worry. I am not going to tell anyone to do something that I can not do. It seems like all I do is worrey.

    Take care of yourself and let me know how things are.

    Hugs; Pam

  10. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi, How is Draven? How is everyone else? Well at least your brother isn't complaining that he's scared! I hope your worries easy as time goes by for you and your dad.

    Just been going to the nursing home and tomorrow I have to get shots for all the dogs and cat. It will be a far drive so I won't see my mom tomorrow. I'm already tired.

    Found out the dr increased her morphine from 30 to 60 twice a day! so she went from 60 to 120 a day. That is to much. SHe was telling me today about people living in her closet. I said I want her to come down on the meds. They better do it.

    Well sorry so short but I've gotta get to bed as I have a long day tomorrow. It will be hard to see the dogs and then get them shots. Ouch.
    Take care,

  11. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Draven is doing fine. I really feel that it was just another excuse to get close to Alan. He cannot go and see his son without something.

    Alexis is doing good too. She is just a little ray of sunshine. I think Alan is feeling better. He has been looking for a job, and he is going today to get their place cleaned up.

    I am sorry to hear about your Mom's increase in meds. I think alot of time Drs. do that just to keep the patient doped up so they won't have to listen to them. She was doing so well for a while and alert.

    My MIL would go from Dr. to Dr. to get pain meds. We found three bottles of the strong oxycodone that had be prescribed three days apart. The funny part of it was that they where three Drs. from the same immediate care.

    I guess my brother is doing ok. I have not heard from him. I called yesterday to see if they had filled the phone care machines and they had not. This is the only place that you can get them. I will check again today.

    I hope eveything goes ok with the dogs today. When you are done try to get some rest.

    Talk to you later; Pam
  12. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, sounds like everyone is doing better. Is Alexis asking for Andrea at all? I hope not. thats nice of you to get the phone cards for your brother.

    Well I didn't take the dogs as the gal told me just do the cat milo. I was so exausted. I did find a place called happy tails for milo. I cried really hard and i don't cry rarely. I wasn't really close to him but I felt bad takining him out of the house and now he is away in a cage.

    He will never see his home or the dogs again and i can't tell him why. He loved the dogs. She thought hed be adopeted soon. I hope so.

    Well I'm so exausted I better go.
    Take care,
  13. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Hope you are getting some rest. I know it is hard to deal with the animals even if you weren't close to them. They can sure tug or your heart.

    I finally got a phone card for my brother today. They had both machines working today. I still haven't seen him. You stick the card in a envelope with his name, cell block and stick it in a slot and they deliver it.

    Things are going fair. Alan is still down and trying to find a job. Alexis ever once and a while will mention Mommy (Andrea) but she doesn't act like it bothers her.

    I am exhausted and real achy so I am going to make this short. Take care,get some rest and let me know how things are.

    God bless; Pam
  14. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi well I hope all the kids continue to be ok. How are you? That was nice you bought your brother phone cards. How far is the jail from you?

    Well Milo the cat won't leave his cage. They are opening it but he is depressed. A lady from LA which is 7 hours from me said shed take the 2 pets. I've been crying. She is from a rescue group. If I don't have any options she will get them. I love the dogs. I 'd rather them be from sacramento so I could maybe see them. Plus I don't like the fact that she has a sancturary but the goal is they find them homes.So they will be in a shelter with her at first.

    I didn't see my mom today either. I did get her catherter out and they put up the second bed rail. The stupid dr cut down her med back to 30 twice a day from 60 twice a day. I wanted it to be 45 twice a day and then move to 60 if needed.

    We go to the dr on Monday or surgeon. My mom is saying she wants surgery but who knows.

    Well Hope you have a good weekend and everyone stays out of the drs!
    Take care,
  15. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    I am sorry that you are still having a rough time with the pets. I am sure that they will all find good homes. I know that it is hard to have to get rid of them.

    We went and saw Daddy today. I didn't even call first. I went to the store and got a few things that I thought he might need and went by Weny's and got him a Jr. bacon cheesebuger and a frosty. He ate the sandwich and frosty. Told me not to bring things there. I told him than he better tell me what he needs. He did promise me that if he needs anything he will call.

    As of today he had not heard from my brother. His girl friend called Daddy and said that she had talked to him.

    Well guess what. Alan is having pain in his stomach. It is right above one of the incisions. He talked to the Dr. today and he said that he had probably pulled something or he could have a hernia. To take it easy, ice it, and take ibruprofen. If it got to bad to go to the ER, he has an appointment on Wed. to see the Dr. Just what he needs.

    Is you Mom able to get up and go to the bathroom? I am very glad that you got them to put up the other bed rail. How is she doing with the lower pain med?

    Let me know how things are and take care.

  16. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam how are you? How is Alan? Did you have a good weekend? My mom likes frostys too I forgot about them I should get her one too. Has your dad heard from your brother yet. How is your weather? We've been in the 60 and sunny. I'm liking that.

    Well my mom was not nice to me today and told me I was never the daughter she wanted. I wasn't there for two days cause of weakness. She can't get out of bed or feed herself. But we will see how it goes without the cathater. I will meet her at the hopital on Monday at the surgeons as she takes a ambulance.

    Well I may have some hope for the dogs. I will let you know. I will call tomorrow about the cat. I hope hes not depressed.

    DO you have any pets?

    Well its late and I better get to bed.

    Take care and I hope you all are doing well?
  17. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Hi I am sorry that your Mom was so mean to you. Alot of the time they do not know what they are saying when they are on all of the meds.

    How is the cat? I hope things work out with the dogs. We have one in door cat, fish, and three garage cats.

    No as of today Daddy had not heard from Bud. I got that phone card so he could call Daddy not spend all of the minutes on his girlfriend. I know it hurts Daddy he said to me "If he cares he will call, if he doesn't he will have her call". I have thought very seriously about writing him a letter but I need to get his inmate number to put on the envelope.

    Alan is not doing to well. He has a little bulge at the side of one of his incisions, it is beginning to feel warm and he has a littl bit of a temp. It is only 99.3 but he runs a 97.8 for a normal temp. We told him that in the morning if we can't get a hold of his Dr. we would go to the ER.

    Draven is sick again. I do not understand how a baby so young can be sick so much. He has a virus, ear infection, and pink eye in both eyes.

    I hope you are getting some rest, and things start going good for you. Let me know how things are going. Take care.

    God bless; Pam
  18. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam well how is Alan? That is bad if he get infected. I hope hes ok. Poor Draven, he is the sickest child. Have you ever heard of someone so sick?

    I'd do the same to have your brother call your dad. How is everyone else now??

    I'm so tired. Back from the hospital and the drs were great but not much they can do for her shoulder. Good they don't want to operate. My mom is just driving me crazy and I'm not going to see her til tomorrow or I'm gonna crack up. I feel bad for her she is the most miserable angry person ever.

    The dr wondered if she had a stroke and I said no. I told him about her meds and he thought that was to much. At the end he told me I'm a good daughter. That was nice as I was kinda whinning at my mom cause shes driving me crazy going on and on " I need my nails filed" ect.

    Then the nursing home put her in the wheel chair to send her to the hospital!! She hasn't sat up that long in yrs. It was awful and I called right away to complain.

    Well hope all is well with you. I'm at my wits end and things are gonna get worse as my brother says this isn't my house and my notice isn't valid.

    Sorry for all that but I'm so frustrated.

    [This Message was Edited on 01/29/2007]
  19. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Alan is still not feeling to great. I took him over to the hospital yesterday morning and they did a cas scan and it did not show a hernia. They said to follow up with the surgeon on Wed. It is getting a little red now. He is so tired of hurting. Draven is doing ok. She said he is better, she is burning up Alan's phone with dumb little things. She actually text him last night and said you should see your son he won't take his eyes off of the TV.

    I am really sorry that you are having such a rough time of it. Glad that your Mom does not have to have another surgery. Did the Dr. say why he thought your Mom had a stroke? Has she always been a angry person or just since she was put on all of the meds?

    What makes your brother think you can not take that house. Does he exspect to be able to keep it from now on, pay nothing and you have to pay the utlities? What does he do for food and such?

    I talked to Daddy and my brother finally called. He had already used up the phone card, he called my Dad collect and said that he had no money left in his commisary account. Supposedly he had more than one $25 jail entrance fee from other times he was arrested for DWI so they took his money. Daddy told him he would try and get him so more money tomorrow or the next day. As cold as it is here he does not need to be out and he does not have the money. My husband told me not to do anymore. He never tells me that. He feels and I have to agree with him that as long as we keep giving my brother will keep taking. I wish that I could get it thru to my Daddy.

    He told my Daddy that work was going to pay him the last day that he worked. After the fact he said that they did not, but he was gone all weekend and at one time Daddy said that he thought Bud had been drinking. He has not received any check in the mail. If they had not paid him they would mail his check to Daddy's. I can almost guarantee that he got the check and spent it.

    Sorry I went on. I am really mad at my brother. I am also sorry that you are going thru so much. Remeber even when your Mom is being mean that you have been a good daughter to her and did everything that you can do. I am here if you need to talk.

    God bless; Pam
  20. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Pam, how are you? What happened at the drs? Did you go too?

    My brother goes to the food locker at a church. He has eaten out of garbages but he is probably charging the Ed abused my mom rent and Ed is there in the house I just bet. Makes me sick inside.

    Well I didn't go see my mom. I'm really worn out. I have a cleaner coming tomorrow so I hope they show up.

    Your dad's phone bill will be really high if he keeps calling collect! Has your dad always been very giving and not to strict. Was your brother good to your mom?

    My moms check is only gonna be $35 a month. I just paid the gas bill and it was $150! Makes me sick.

    Well I am so worn out. I need to rest.

    Let me know how everyone is now!
    Take care,

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