Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ckball, Aug 14, 2006.

  1. ckball

    ckball New Member

    Hi Rene

    I am so glad you posted your bio, especially since you have been having a difficult time.

    Little People is one of my favorite shows too. I watch a lot of TLC,Discovery, National Geo and Animal Planet.

    That must have been difficult to be well one day and so sick the next. Mine has happened over time. It still doesn't make it any easier to accept. Like you, I was a active, social person in VA.

    I make the best of what I have and work on my home, sometimes I enjoy it and sometimes...wellll I'm glad when it is over. I could never afford to pay someone to do everything I have done.

    I want to get the house done so I can do some real stained glass.

    My best freind in 1973 lived in Minot for a awhile. She hated it,said it was nothing but flat land and snow.

    I went to San Francisco in 1979, my half sister lived there. It was pretty cool, but so many hills. We road the trolleys, went to China Town, the Wharf. It was a great visit.

    I hope your mom is doing better, please let me know how you are doing.Carla

    [This Message was Edited on 08/15/2006]
  2. ckball

    ckball New Member

    bump for Rene
  3. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Carla, I lived in Minot and I did not like it eigher! It got to 80 below zero. I didn't know it could get so cold.

    San Francisco is great. Glad you got to go.

    I didn't go see my mom as I'm to tired today. I called her and she told the physical therapist who answered that she didn't want to talk to me. That hurt after all I've cared and done. BUT thats my fault for forgetting she is like that to me. I always give her a clean slate.

    Well I'll have to see what happens next as she gonna get out soon and I think it will be a nursing home but she wants to go home where the treatment isn't the best to say the least.

    Thanks for always caring!
  4. ckball

    ckball New Member

    I am sorry abot your mom, we just have to remember if they haven't changed by now, they never will. The only thing we can change is how we react to it.

    You are a good daughter, I am sure deep down she nows it, sometimes people just don't know how to show. I think that is were our mothers fall, they never had it so they never figured out how to give it.

    You take care of yourself, if she needs to be in a nursing home, that prescreens it's employees, then maybe that is what is best to do.

    If she went home could she have some one there 24/7?

    I know how overwhealming these decisions are, just take one day at a time.

    Is she back to herself, where you can carry on a conversation and make a decision on her own?

    Well, take care, you and your mom are in my prayers-Carla
  5. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi yes she has had 24 hour care for a while. Not the best care to say the least but long story. I'm gonna talk to a social worker about the unkind treatment she gets at times but I think they won't do anything.

    The nursing homes out here are not so good. I can't keep her in one. She called that creep who was exposing himself to come and get her a few months ago.

    Yesterday was her BDAY and your moms is soon?? My mom is only 67. I didn't tell her it was her Bday as she was so drugged up and out of it I cried.

    I got her Sees Candy ($14 for 1 pound!) and a beautiful boquet of flowers. But since she was so out of it I didn't tell her it was her bday and she didn't notice. She did say she liked the candy but she could only have a tiny tiny piece.

    I always give my mom a clean slate. I am shocked everytime she is unkind as if She never has done a mean thing. I took that little elephant home last night and slept with it. Then today she won't talk to me!

    Well AGAIN thanks!!
  6. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    Glad to hear that your Mom is doing so much better.

    I am sorry to hear that she has yelled at you and would not talk to you today.

    You have been a wonderful daughter to her, and as said before deep down she knows this. I think sometimes they have to strike out and it is at the person closest to them.

    My husband had that with his Mother. They lived in Florida and both where ill. She wanted to come back to Indiana. We went down and got things straightened out and brought them both back to Indy. MIL & FIL. She had to go into the hospital and on New Years Eve we where in court getting emergency Guardian ship because she was out of her head, and she had to go into the mental health ward for a pscyh evaluation. She would call every 15 minutes threatening my husband and she finally called the police and told them that he had stolen her car and money. We had to go to the police station and show the guradinship papers to them. Two days later the same Dr. that demanded he get the order called and said that she was ok and he was releasing her.

    He called the lawyer and told her to get the guradianship revoked. They picked up and went back to Florida. I might add that FIL had Alezhimers and was doing well at the time and she upped and moved him. He passed away seven months later.

    This was not the only thing. She always was a mean person, and always cutting my husband down. My sons would not let me refer to her as their Grandmother.

    You have been there for your mother when she needed you and have done everything that you could. Please take care of yourself and do not let it get you down.

    God bless, Pam
  7. ckball

    ckball New Member

    I know how hard it is to give the clean slate. I have tried and in a way have done that. BUT that doesn't mean you have to continue letting her hurt you.

    My biggest life lesson is people can only hurt you if you let them. It is how we respond that is up to us. Have you ever really told your mother how the things she does or says hurts you?

    I know sometimes or most the time, they act like what did I do? They are in so much denial. I don't know if you read the post about my grandaughter. She is having some serious issues. So I was telling my mother what was going on and about how I am concerned about how my daughter is handling the situation. After I finshed telling her about this serious problem, she said "they can't find my hair brush".

    I looked in her night stand and there it was in the bottom drawer. I just told her bad news about her great grandaughter and all she could think about is her hair brush. It just amazes me. I didn't say anymore about it to her and then said I had errands to do and left.

    That was very sweet of you to give your mom candy and flowers, BTW what is Sees candy. I have never heard of it but at 14 bucks a pound I bet it is good. I am sorry that she was not able to appreciate the gesture..

    My mom's birthday is Fri. Since I work on Fri I am going to take the dogs to see her tomorrow. I am thinking about taking her some sugar free cupcakes since she is a diabetic.

    I hope you are feeling better and get your mom in the right place for her. I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you. Carla

  8. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Thanks again.

    Carla, Hi I don't know either way if she knows she hurts me or not. Sometimes I think its on purpose. I actually don't give her a clean slate, its just wiped cleaned! I actually get shocked when she is mean like it never happened in my life.

    Yea I know what you mean about the "can't find my hairbrush" I stopped by the nursing home (she was there a couple of weeks) as it was on the way to the Oncologist for the 1st time and I told her "mom I'm going to the oncologist" and shes like " I need more ice" and could care less!

    Thats nice that you bring the dog to the home for her. Sees candy is a candy store mainly has chocolate. She let me have a piece.

    PAM, wow thats awful and I may be in the same boat as the Dr now says my mom is mentally incompetant. How did you go to court on New years eve? Is there one in the hopital? We is his mom now? Alezhimers that is awful. I wonder if I have to do Guardian ship too. Why did you have to get guardian ship?

    Thanks again. The dr says my mom will be in the hopital till next week so that is good for me. I was gonna go today but didn't.

    Thanks you,

    [This Message was Edited on 08/17/2006]

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