returning after years away.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by elne, Aug 1, 2008.

  1. elne

    elne New Member

    Hello and hi to some old friends from years ago. I've was a poster here long time ago, but left over issues on people getting banned. Myself one of them. Back then and everywhere else I've been Elne Clare online and at SF conventions.

    Elne is Modern English for the Old English word 'ellen.' It means strength, courage and sometimes zeal according to the Oxford English Dictionary. Back when I was first ill, my online gaming friends would comment on how strong I was to deal with all the problems I was facing at the time. So my screen name became to mean much more to me then another way to spell my given name Ellen Clare.

    I been living with FMS for 11 years now and slowly learning to pace myself and use meditation to help me cope with stress and pain. Lately it also been helpful for the depression I lived with for years.

    I recently learned that one of my daughter's friends has Lyme disease and is back on long term treatment with a LLMD in Montgomery Co. MD. We started writing emails back and forth and following each other blogs. From him I found his doctor's blog and started to read more about chronic Lyme Disease.

    I always wonder if some of my FMS could be due to the fact that as a kid I often played in the woods and know I been bitten a few times by ticks. My mom would do full body tick checks whenever we came home from camping trips, so I did try to make sure I wore white socks if I was out hiking.

    I made one post on the doctor's blog and mention how it was after I had gotten HumanParvo Virus B19 from my youngest, that I became will. He mention how it was trough to treat but gave me an idea of how he would handle such a case. I would love to be able to afford to travel down to his office and get tests done, but limited by fact that I'm on SSI.

    Monday I go see a new doctor at John Hopkins. I went with JHH back when I was trying to find out what was wrong with me and they diagnosed me with FMS. Since my family has a history of cancer, they been good about testing for both colon and breast cancer regularly and lupus a few times, but having to constantly try to teach new doctors about FMS every other year has been frustrating. This time the doctor will be female and I'm hoping will be more open to reading up on FMS and maybe chronic viral infections.

    I'll be loaded with papers for her to check out when we meet. I have very little hope that it will do me much good, though as JHH is so tied to the big business of Health care in the US. Still for my IBS and chronic dry eyes and mouth they been careful to treat my health problems as best they can. I go elsewhere for my depression and therapy, as the clinic has been major help for me and my daughters getting through my divorce.

    I'm at a point though were I want more tests for skin prolbems I have been worsening over the last 2 years. My sister has Scleroderma and though I haven't been tested recently my eye doctors feel I may have Sjogren's Syndrome.

    I notice small cuts take longer to heal now and more likely to scar. I'm also I getting more dead dry skin on feet and fingers and nails are showing problems of flaking in on a few toes and fingers. I can't ignore the constant bruises appearing on my arms and legs whenever I been more active then normal. Only ones I can account for are the ones on calves where I tend to kick myself when walking. I known some of this is just age, as I been pre menopausal for 3 years now, but can't think there is more then the fact that I'll be 50 in December.

    On the positive side all the time practicing mediation is paying off for me. I went on a retreat 2 weeks ago and did some deep meditation and rituals based on known techniques among various world religions. Spiritual it was an eye opener and so I am going to look for a yoga therapist and read up more on meditation. I just stop taking Prozac and will be lowering my dose of Effector CR in the coming months, as I find my mental health improve with the more time I meditate.