Rockgor, could I ask for some legal advice?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by hugs4evry1, Nov 28, 2006.

  1. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I hope you don't mind and will understand if you choose not to answer or get involved.

    But living overseas presents some problems and our legal offices are open so rarely that I haven't remembered to try when they are open. (4 hours a week on our base)

    My 20 year old daughter is mentally ill, very. She came back home in March of 05 and as I've learned in the past months, she's not capable of living on her own. (She of course disagrees at times.)

    I now believe that she's schizophrenic as well as BPD as they've dx her. She's not seeing a therapist but is medicated although not enough at the moment. I also believe she's getting worse, not better.

    If she chooses to leave us in Aug when she turns 21 she will no longer have medical benefits or insurance. I don't think she can hold down a reliable enough job to get them either. She's not capable of taking enough college classes to qualify as a full time student which would continue her ID card for another 2 years.

    Hubby and I hold Florida driver's licenses but haven't lived in the states for many years.

    We brought her home to keep her medicated and get her some help which we've tried our best to do but has been tricky at times because she is a legal adult.

    She believes that when she leaves in Aug that she'll just magically be 'fine' with no medications or access to psychiatric care. Which leads us to believe that we may have to gain guardianship of her for the foreseeable future.

    Where do I start? My husband is a gov't civil service guy yet I have no idea of what kinds of benefits he has.

    Any ideas?????

    Hugs and hope you're feeling well,

    Nancy B
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Guten Tag.

    Well, shoot! My answer disappeared into an electronic black hole. Will try again.

    I am sorry to say I have no experience w/ this sort of situation. All my legal work was personal injury or workers' Comp. And much of what I knew is already out of date.

    I can understand the frustration of trying to help your daughter when she doesn't want to be helped. I always found the worst thing about parenting was when you couldn't do much to help your child.

    I know two people from the 12 step program Emotions Anonymous who say they were schizophrenic and got a lot of help from their medications and the program. Doubt there is an EA program in Germany tho.

    I wonder if they have half way houses in Germany. A place where they get a lot of monitoring, room and board. If so, after a few months your daughter might find she prefers living at home after all.

    Very tough situation. I am sorry I can't help you. Good luck.

  3. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    It is a problem being overseas but for the moment, I think the benefits outweigh the problems as far as I can see.

    I know I just need to find the right direction and I've been starting some online research recently.

    I'll keep up with that.

    Again, thank you....


    Nancy B
  4. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    If your daughter is still a US Resident, wouldn't her illness be able to be classified as a disability, and enable her to receive SSI? (Supplemental Security Income), giving her a monthly payment, and becoming Medicare eligible?

    I have a friend with a 19 year old son (legal guardian actually) that has SEVERE learning disabilities, ADD/HD, Tourettes, not sure what else. He can't handle/exchange money. He is on SSI. He holds various jobs for as long as he can, just learned to drive, even drives race cars. He's a great kid, well, young man now. But, he will never likely be able to be self supporting, at least not consistently.

    I would think that a dual Dx. of Schizophrenia and Bi-Polar would be sufficient to justify classifying her disabled. It is a hard road for you I am sure. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    [This Message was Edited on 11/29/2006]
  5. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I agree that SSDI may be the way to go, at least at first. I'm trying to figure out my options because August will be here before we know it and it worries me so much.

    She hasn't been dx as schizophrenic, I just have a sinking feeling that she is/or is becoming schizophrenic. I do know she's getting worse, not better.

    She stopped therapy in early Oct when her doc moved away. He had requested that she come see him to be retested and I have a feeling that he thought something besides the BPD was wrong with her.

    He had a great relationship with her and would have been the best one to test her for other mental problems.

    She's a pro at hiding how she is, but through the months that she's been back, I've learned so much.

    I'll keep trying to look into it.

    Again, thanks so much!


    Nancy B
  6. victoria

    victoria New Member

    You are in a tough situation Nancy, all my sympathy. It's hard to deal with anyone who is in denial but especially our kids. Hopefully she will get a 'wake-up' call that won't be too disastrous.

    What we were told: if a parent is currently receiving SSD and a child qualifies for SSI OR SSD, the child will receive the higher the amount of money whether the child or the parent made the income.

    IE, if the parent is receiving $1200/mo and the child would only qualify for SSI (about $550), the child will receive the parent's payment anyway.

    If the child did earn enough to be considered for SSD, but the payment would only be, say, $700/mo, the child would still receive the parent's amount of $1200.

    SS explained it, and I've read it, that it also doesn't matter if the child is 21 or 31, etc...

    Hope that helps, not sure if you are on SSD or not. If a child does get on SSI/D, there are also some programs to help them to go to school, etc. This is assuming of course that one of you IS on SSD.

    All the best,

    [This Message was Edited on 11/29/2006]
  7. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I'm not on any disability....I never really even thought about it because I've always been lucky enough to get to stay home when I chose to and work when I wanted to.

    Although I was worried about it with hubby, he's responding to the Buhner's Core Protocol so he's still fine working and doing better each week.

    I did a bit of searching around today online (and posted a very important web site that seems to lead to all things gov't) but I didn't get very far.

    This is the first week my daughter has had a full time job and college classes at night. I don't know how long this will last, but if I'm right, it won't be long before the meltdown. (It would be wonderful to be wrong)

    We can easily afford to have her home here with us, provide spending money and such but it's her idea of leaving that has me almost to the panic point although I know it's still early and I do have some time.

    It's my sneaking suspicion that she may be schizophrenic that has me worried the most. It's like watching her fade away and some times it's harder to find the intellectual child that's in there somewhere.

    Example: she threw a fit an actual fit like a 3 year old recently over having a small artificial tree for Christmas. She dropped to the floor in a huff and proceeded to argue about the height of the tree.

    I told her this one is about 2 1/2 feet tall and it's pretty. So she argues that that's only 20" know 7 + 7 is 14 and 6 more inches (for a half foot) makes it 20 inches. (cause we all know that 7 inches equals 1 foot)

    That night in particular was very difficult to make sense to her. And this is the child who took (and did well) in all college classes in high school up until we left Bahrain. She was going for an IB diploma.

    I basically don't know which way to turn. She doesn't have a psychologist right now which is what she needs to be tested again. But they need months of appts to get to know the individual. She's started this job, but it takes a full day for her to travel to the psych clinic in another town.

    Anyway, I'm just rambling on here, sorry.

    Hugs and thanks for the advice,

    Nancy B
  8. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    SSI may be the way to go. I'll have to look into it. I know she's going to need medical care of some kind and coverage, not that she'll use it.....

    When she was living in the states, she discontinued all meds, didn't follow up on any of her hospitalizations or emergency room visits which pretty much proves that she can't take care of herself.

    I'll look some more and try to find some information. Sometimes it's just a huge load when I don't feel well myself many days.

    Hugs all,

    Nancy B
  9. victoria

    victoria New Member

    you might consider having her tested for various stealth pathogens, lyme included. Lyme is in Germany, there was a doctor quite a few years back who could tell from which part of the Black Forest a pt was from by the presenting symptoms...

    I am suggesting the possibility because neuro signs like mental illness can be the ones that show up first.

    The most notable case that hit the press here in the US happened right after my son was dx'd, in 2005. The Florida State University star quarterback was found wandering down the street disheveled, half-undressed, mumbling he was God, etc... spent a month in a Tallahassee FL hospital and nothing was found... a family friend suggested he visit a Lyme specialist in the NE, and it was found he did have Lyme; he was given IV abx immediately.

    He was able to return to school part-time in the fall of 2005 but ultimately made an official statement he would not be able to return to playing football because of his health. They say he was (understandably) the most upset by the reports that he'd probably been doing drugs.

    You can read a later story where the family is interviewed here:

    Hope this helps, you never know. My son showed up with neuro signs long before anything else. It is not that unusual when it is a gradual onset.

    all the best,

    PS: if she gets on SSI (or even SSD), it is possible also for you to administer her funds... the only thing about SSI is that you cannot live outside the country for more than 30 days, unlike being on SSD. Once she applies for SSI, if she is turned down, she can still get a Medicaid card at that point anyway. Not sure why it works that way, but it does.
    [This Message was Edited on 12/02/2006]