Last night when I got off the Metro and was walking to my car, my legs would hardly carry me. I watched as people walked past me heading off to enjoy the beautiful evening. I was just praying I could make it to my car. Two years ago I would have been the one leading the way -- hurrying home so I could go to the park and walk the 3-6 miles I did for exercise. I was glad I had sunglasses on because tears were rolling down my cheeks. I was so depressed. But I tried to pull myself out of it and decided maybe I couldn't walk like I used to, but I could do somethings to take care of myself - which was just as important. I walked around the block! Then I sat in my therapy tube for about 20 minutes, listened to a meditation tape and got a pretty good nights sleep. Today I woke up feeling better (maybe not the "spring out of bed" like before) but pretty good. Then after work my SO and I met another couple for dinner. It was a very nice time - not that I wasn't suffering some pain - but it was all just so much better than yesterday. That's what I find I have to remember. It's never going to be the way it was. There will be some ups and, unfortunately, some downs. This is the new way my life runs - but at least I'm still in the race.