rude man about handicap sticker

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by calgarychris, Jun 4, 2009.

  1. calgarychris

    calgarychris New Member

    I was just at the gas station and parked in the handicapped spot ( I have a sticker for my van from my doc for my fibro pain) and usually I do not use it, but today I have severe pain in my hips so I pulled it out and popped it on my rear view mirror. As I was getting out this older man POINTS at me and says " Handicap spot!" and I said, Yeah... that is why I have the handicap sticker. He was such a jerk and for some reason I feel like crying and depressed now. I hate it when people treat other like this. Sorry for the vent, feeling tired and painful today.

    Gentle hugs,

  2. Pansygirl

    Pansygirl New Member

    So sorry you had to go through this. Vent anytime.

    Hope your pain lets up soon.

    Gentle hugs, Susan
  3. pacotaco

    pacotaco New Member

    I guess thats one of the problems we endure also, you know, "we look healthy so we are healthy!", ignorance is what it is. I am sorry that happend to you. We all know you do not need that! Don't let other people like that man bother you because it will give you more pain if you let him stress you. I probably would have pointed to my ears and waved my hand to make him think i was deaf so he would have been quiet after that, who knows....maybe it would have worked.maybe we need t-shirt that say "be kind to us from club handicappers" hmmm? hope you have a better tomorrow. P.S. think of how lucky you are to be able to drive still, I can not, so enjoy your time out....
    [This Message was Edited on 06/04/2009]
  4. daboysone

    daboysone New Member

    Please don't let people like this affect your mental state of mind! I understand tho- today I went to the grocery store with my mom and had a flare yesterday from a solumedrol pain shot, felt like I was going to die- but didn't! Anyway I decided to use the electric scooter b/c I didn't want to aggravate anything as I was feeling better today, and felt like I had to explain to everyone why I was in the scooter! It was embarassing. But we must raise our heads up high, smile, and try to educate those who can be educated (as not all illnesses are visable to one's eyes) and if not let it go! Hope you feel better and know you are not alone! Gentle hugs! M
  5. mbofov

    mbofov Active Member

    I've been using a handicap sticker on and off for a year now - I look very healthy and have been expecting rude remarks from people but it hasn't happened yet. Anyways, try to let it go. You DO need the sticker, and that man was ignorant and rude.

    I use mine when my energy is quite low and a walk from the parking lot might do me in. I have to remind myself that I need that parking space to be able to do what I have to, and that helps.

    Take care -

  6. butterflydream

    butterflydream New Member

    Responding back to that person with your truthful answer.

    It sounds like that man is just a trouble maker and you did good keeping your cool .
    Vent here anytime you need too.

    Better days ahead
  7. butterflydream

    butterflydream New Member

    Responding back to that person with your truthful answer.

    It sounds like that man is just a trouble maker and you did good keeping your cool .
    Vent here anytime you need too.

    Better days ahead
  8. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Not to let anyone's comments get to me. They are ignorant of the need for many to have the placards who don't necessarily look disabled. This can include those with heart and breathing conditions which mean they can't walk far.

    A woman once told me I shouldn't be using the handicap parking spot and I told her she was not in a position to make that judgement. It stunned her and she went about her way without saying another word to me.

    Despite my healing, I still use my placard if I am in a lot of pain or am totally exhausted.

    Love, Mikie
  9. Doober

    Doober New Member

    As long as you have a legitimate handicap placards, yo do NOT have to justify or explain yourself.

    Some people just think that if they point thing out like this, they think they are doing a good thing.

    Sometimes they are, but for the most part they open their mouths before the brain does any type of reasoning calculations.

    There are so many smart-A#$%# response that can be given to them, but if there brains cannot do the basic reasonings to begin with, it may not be worth wasting your breath.

    If the DR gave you the placard, use it when you need it. That is what it was made for.
  10. like my hubby says when they say you don't look like your handicapped. You tell them "You don't look like a dr either".
  11. soulight

    soulight New Member

    I love that response ! Short , sweet and to the point. I can never think of anything to say until a while later and then it is too late.

  12. Rockismom

    Rockismom New Member

    Your husband's response is much more tactful than mine.

    "You don't look stupid either - so I guess that makes us even!"

    Sorry. Sometimes I just can't help being nasty.

  13. munch1958

    munch1958 Member

  14. TeaBisqit

    TeaBisqit Member

    People just stare at me when I use the handicapped plaq on my car. And I just ignore them. I have to have it. The NMH/POTS is so bad that I often feel I'm just going to fall right on the ground. I can't walk far. And the Lyme arthritis in my hips and back is near crippling. But of course, I don't look sick. But if people watch how hard it is for me to walk, they would see I don't walk right from it. I wish people didn't judge us on how we look. It drives me crazy. They are not in our bodies, they don't know the horrible suffering we go through.
  15. ilovepink4

    ilovepink4 Member

    Okay, don't beat me up too much....but, i like the fact that people are watching because I cannot tell you how frustrating it was for me to be feeling sick and having to pick up my daughter from school.....the daughter that uses a big heavy wheelchair...we live in northern the cold is bitter in the winter....

    so here i am trying to pick up daughter and EVERYDAY someone is sitting in the only handicapped parking spot ....waiting for their able bodied kid to walk out and get in their I have to park far away and load a heavy chair on a power lift that raises up a few feet off the ground...scary....I had to walk across the parking lot with two little boys, meet my daughter and drive her chair through the traffic of the parking lot and the crazy teenagers...then load her up where the backend of the van stuck out almost into traffic because it was a regular parking spot....very dangerous...remember the two little boys i was trying to keep in their seats?

    after this kept happening, i started to park behind the offender , blocking them in while I called my husband , WHO HAPPENED TO BE THE PRINCIPAL OF THIS VERY HIGH SCHOOL!, so he could get the school cop to come down and do something about it....

    i would knock on their window and tell them how their actions affected people who needed that spot for safety....i even had to ask a bus driver to quit parking her bus where it blocked the curb cut know? where the curb dips down for a wheelchair to get off of it? she would block that everyday so I couldn't get my daughter off the sidewalk and into the suicidal parking lot....with those two little boys....

    my actions didn't change a thing....the school cop even told me he couldn't do anything about it because the spot where my daughter exited the school was in front of the performing arts center which was attached to the school....and the center only had either the blue sign or the painting on the parking spot cement but didn't have both and they needed to have both to fine a person for parking there....sounded like BS to me but whatever....

    and my hubby was the principal there...remember? and nothing seemed to get done about it....

    so, maybe we should be glad that there are people looking out for us and our parking spots....they don't understand that we just don't show our least they get irritated if someone looks like they are parking illegally....and will say something....from my experiences, it seemed like no one gave a sh!t.....and i was an emotional wreck during that year because I felt so horrible but didn't know why? ( i had 4 kids in 4 different schools the year i bottomed out with the fibro) I felt very alone and no one would do anything to punish the people in those parking spots....

    on the other hand...i do feel embarrassed when i use my hanger to park in the handicapped spot....i feel just like you do...that people are watching and judging ...and you just can't explain this to everyone you meet....

    so, when you get questioned by someone who is being nasty, try to think that they are looking out for us....they just don't know that we are the good least they will speak is a we just have to figure out a way to let them in on our awful secret illnesses....

    and if someone said "well you don't look sick" to me, someone would have to hold me back from assaulting them for that comment....i vote for "well, you don't look like a doc to me"....that one is perfect!

    just a view from another side.....
  16. mlbbarry

    mlbbarry New Member

    I am not handicap, but do look out for those who are. I do make sure they have a handicap sticker, but everyone is right, it is none of our business why they have to sticker, and you do wish people could just keep their mouths shut.

    Sorry you had to deal with that thoughtless person.

  17. jasminetee

    jasminetee Member

    I know just how you feel. Some folks here made a good point about how people are trying to do the right thing out there by keeping the Handicap spots open for the people who "look" handicapped. We really need an public educational campaign about this. Even just a couple of commercials on TV would help.

    Munch, thanks so much for that link. I've been looking for information like that. It seems like a wonderful website for us.
  18. Engel

    Engel New Member

    Don't feel badly. You have a legimate health issue and that is your placcard. That was rude of him, but as long as that is your registered placcard you have a right to use it. Try not to allow people to upset you. I think due to our illness we are very sensitive to everything.