Hi all. I come to this board every couple days too, and it's too bad to see so little activity. I like to see what others are going through, but I don't always have a lot to say. I'm feeling a little extra-frustrated this week. I work as a computer programmer in my day job. The pay is great, but I hate it. I hate being inside all day, sitting all day, and dealing with the corporate types instead of regular people. I started doing it about 6 years ago(2 & 1/2 years before my wife got sick) and only planned to do it for a few years to pay off some debt and be able to buy a house. So much for that plan. My real passion is dog training and behavior. I have a nice side business doing that, and I could easily make a living at it if Sara were healthy. It's just not stable enough with her sick though. Doctors and supplements and experimental lab work are expensive, and who knows what experimental treatments might come along and what they may cost. Plus, there's no room for risk in our lives. The stress that would result from a big financial set back - especially if we lost our house or anything - would be so hard on her. Health insurance is a big concern too. So entreprenership is out for now. I just have to get up every morning and go to a job I can't stand. Most of the time it doesn't bother me much. CFS puts things in perspective. I'm very grateful to be in a position where I can provide for Sara's needs (short of the big one, a cure). I see how much she suffers and most of the time I truly am grateful just to be able to walk, and drive, and sit up all day at any job at all. This week's just been tough. I went to a dog training conference last weekend and spent a lot of time with people living the life I want. I'm tired of giving up dreams for this DD. I haven't lost nearly as much as Sara has, but it still sucks.