Sad ... I had to fire my fibro doc

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by TNhayley, Aug 12, 2003.

  1. TNhayley

    TNhayley New Member

    Hi All. I posted a while back about being excited by finding a doc who *has* fibro. I was so hopeful that he would be able to do more for me than my other GP. My old GP was/is a great doc, kind and always willing to listen. However, he was/is no FMS expert.

    Anyway ... I started this new doc a few months ago. He is over an hour away, but I thought ... no big deal, it'll be worth it. Yesterday was my third appt. with him (6th time meeting him ... he runs a monthly info session for fibro patients). I had to take my boys. Aparently he doesn't like kids. He was not only short with me, but he snapped at my boys too. He has never been exceedingly nice ... always very business like, never really smiling. I thought I could live with that, that the knowledge he has about FMS would be worth a bad bedside manner.

    Every visit, after about 5 minutes a nurse would knock on the door saying he had a phone call. Now the first two times I didn't really pay too much attention to it ... but since it happened again yesterday, I think it's some kind of code to get him out of there. He spent all of 5 minutes with me, part of which he literally had one foot out the door, and then told me he didn't think we were getting much accomplished - with a pointed look at my boys (who were being very good).

    My list of questions went unanswered. For the third time I asked him about my horrible mood swings. No answers, really. Well, he did RX Wellbutrin. I guess I just expected more. I really thought I'd be able to have some good dialogue with this guy.

    I found myself in this room with my boys, tears streaming in frustration. Trying not to cry in front of them, unable to hold it in. When his nurse came back in with the RX (and she was rude too) I just took it and went to pay. The girl at the desk pulled out the appt cards and asked when I would like to make my next appt. Tears still streaming, I told her I would not be coming back and to send all my records back to my old doctor. Then they had me fill out a release, which I could barely see through the tears and stares.

    I know we have all had our share of insensitive docs. I am just flabbergasted that *this* doc is like this. I mean, he knows what we go through, he knows the hardships. I really thought he would be MORE compassionate, not LESS.

    Sorry for the rant. I just feel like I'm back to square one.

  2. IntuneJune

    IntuneJune New Member

    So, another hope shot down, sorry. Hang in there. Keep looking for answers, this board does have it share of bad doc's visits. You are not alone ---but not much help huh? There will be,one day, an answer for us. Fondly, June
  3. This dr. sounds like a jerk, I woulnt go back either! I have gone to a specialist like that and refused to see him. I would be suspicious of the every 5 min phone call too, sounds like a way to keep his visits with patients short and get out of there. UGH totally disgusts me!
  4. tlc8858

    tlc8858 New Member

    I am so sorry to hear about your doctor visit. That is so insensitive. I found a great doctor in Boise Idaho, which is 3 hours from me, and had my 2nd appointment scheduled in June. I drove the 3 hours, spent the night in order to be there on time, only to go the the office and find out they were closed. I was so upset. I needed to see her. Upon calling the office the following Monday several times, I was told, OOps, I must have forgot to call you and let you know we would be gone. I said that was not good enough and wanted some kind of reimbursement, as it cost us about 300.00 to make the trip. She simply said, sorry, there is nothing we can do. She would not even give me my next appt at no charge. I also found out that 2 other people drove over 2 hours each to find the office closed. I really liked this doctor and I think she could have helped me, but that sort of inconsiderate behavior is not what I am looking for in a doctor. I am in the process of finding a new one.
  5. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    You are better off with a good doc who knows nothing about our illnesses than one who is convinced he knows everything and is a jerk.

    If you old doc is willing to work with you, you can do your own research, print out material and together you can try new treatments until you find what works well for you.

    This is actually the ideal way to get involved with your own healing. I did it out of necessity and it has worked wonders in my progress. I now have an excellent specialist who says that the treatments my PCP and I have been using are perfect, just what he would have ordered had I been seeing him all along.

    My PCP hardly has time to spend with me because I am in an HMO (the specialist has more time). When I see the PCP, I am armed with a list which I insist we cover, point by point, and articles in hand, highlighted and annotated for his convenience. He is very grateful for my research and he is gaining knowledge and a library on our illnesses to help his other patients with CFIDS and FMS. It's a win, win, win situation for everyone. This demands a very good relationship and trust, but it can be done. Good luck, and in the meantime, don't give up looking for a specialist, not to replace your doc, but to augment your healing.

    Love, Mikie
  6. anthonyDM

    anthonyDM New Member

    I went to a pain doc. who told me, in front of about 8 other patients, that I had too many health issues, that I should pick 2 or 3 for her to deal with, and kept repeating that "she does not prescribe narcotics for pain" (presuming that I was drug seeking). Most of her comments to me were made as she was standing in front of her next patient. THe visit was about $350. By the grace of God, I didn't get upset, but rather felt sorry for her, never to return again.

    Prior to her seeing me, I heard her loudly chastising the patient in the next room for not scrubbing his burn wounds hard enough and being told that he should only need alleve for pain. I sort of had a forwarning before she came in to see me--time to mentally prepare for her insensitivity. I chalked it up with all of you as a case of "doctor doesn't have a clue, and is insensitive to boot".

    Keep searching; don't give up hope. The right "good" doctor is out there waiting for you. I will remember you in my prayers, TN, that you will soon find a good, compassionate, and knowledgeable doctor.

  7. LauraLea

    LauraLea New Member

    who won't come in a sit down. If a doctor won't come in and sit down or at least take time to look you in the eye and really look like he/she is listening then I say bye bye.

    Now I only go to women doctor's because I find them easier to talk too. Maybe just because I had bad male doctors.

    I'm so sorry you had a bad experience with this doctor. If he can't tolerate your family that just puts more stress on you. And what doctor takes some many phone calls while he's seeing patients. I think you are completely right to get rid of him...

  8. mircleear

    mircleear New Member

  9. TNhayley

    TNhayley New Member

    Thanks for your replies. I know everyone understands here and for that I am grateful.

    I was so upset yesterday, I was about to chuck my plans to go back to school ... guess I had a heavy dose of self-pity mixed with melancholic fatalism. Maybe it's part of this whole mood swing thing.

    Anyway, I feel much better now. I already made an appt. with my old doc for my yearly checkup. Just doing that took some of the sting out of yesterday's experience. Now I just need to let it go, I guess. Live and learn.

    On the upside, I got a lot done today in the way of school. I went to an advising appointment and found out I only need 16 hours of pre-req's before I start nursing school - thats 2 classes a semester which will work out perfectly in the way of getting my feet wet. I'm actually excited (and a little scared ... hahaha) to be taking Microbiology! I'm still not sure how we're going to pay for school ... wading through a lot of red tape in the financial aid dept, but somehow I think it'll work out.

    And, maybe someday, I'll be in a position to impact positively on some FMSers lives. That is the long range plan, anyway.

    Again, thanks for listening! Hugs,
  10. clueless

    clueless New Member

    I have one now that I have to get rid of and don`t know where to look for one. I have had a bladder problem for a month or more (bad burning before,during urination and after ). He had a urine test run and said it was O.K. I went back + told him it was worse and he said well, do you want to see a urologist and proceeded to tell me how painful the exam is.Before when I said we could work together on things he gave me a look and said WE? I knew that was out.It cost me $65 to have a copy of my records sent to a new doctor, that can become very expensive when you are looking for a decent doctor.I know where you are coming from! You wonder where all the good doctors are.
  11. TNhayley

    TNhayley New Member

    Thanks! NP is my ultimate goal and I thought a 2 yr ASN would be the best first stepping stone. Thanks for confirming that. I'm off to registration today! Hugs,