Sad news for me.

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by HeartsinOhio, Apr 8, 2008.

  1. HeartsinOhio

    HeartsinOhio New Member

    I am 53, and I have a friend I met when I was 6. We were best friends, closer to her than anyone for all those years till about 3 years ago. She decided she didn't want anything to do with me anymore. She was re-marrying her ex. Anyway at that time she decided she wanted to end our friendship. She told me to never ever call her again. She ended all her friendships and estranged herself from her siblings too. I have always hoped she would call me one day, and we would pick up where we left off. I missed her so much, so many things I wanted to share with her, she was my very best friend. Not a day went by that I didn't think of her. I got a call on the 28th of March, her son called me from Oregon where she had moved. My friend had killed herself on Easter Sunday. I never will get that long awaited call from her. I wish now I had reached out to her, but I didn't because she didn't want me to. She warned me to never try to call her. I should of done it anyway. If you have a lost friend, don't hesitate to call them. They might need you. Life is short. Pattie
    [This Message was Edited on 04/09/2008]
  2. jinlee

    jinlee Member

    I am so sorry about the loss of your dear friendship and then the loss of your dear friend. She must have had some problems that she felt she could not deal with. It is hard to know what to do when someone says they "don't want to be friends" anymore and they don't give a reason.

    I hear your message loud and clear. I had a dear friend who did close the doors on everybody. Many times I feel I should talk to her but then I think I need to honor her wishes. Yes, maybe they do need us and just don't know how to say so.

    Jinlee.

  3. HeartsinOhio

    HeartsinOhio New Member

    I know what you are saying. I honored my friends wishes but now I wish I had sent her a note or something. There is never a way to know how it will turn out. I wish you the best and if you can find the strength, just write her a note and tell her you care, the worst that can happen is no worse than what has happened to the friendship so far. Good luck. P
  4. HeartsinOhio

    HeartsinOhio New Member

    I am sorry to hear you are having problems with depression. It has to be hard to write that your wife doesn't want to be with you anymore. I think it is hard for people to understand depression unless they have been there. I have a family history of mental illness and lots of depression issues too. I know how you feel isolating yourself from people, thinking you are doing them the favor. I hope you will try to let a friend in, maybe talking will help. I think my friend isolated herself from everyone but her husband and son, and now I think she must of been very depressed. She planned it for weeks according to what her son told me. He said she seemed happy, maybe she was relieved to know there was an end to her suffering. Please try to reach out to someone, don't try to handle this alone. I am sure there are many many people who care about you. I wish you well my friend. If you care to share I will listen. I think you can send private messages here, I am not sure. Please be well. Pattie
    [This Message was Edited on 04/09/2008]
    [This Message was Edited on 04/09/2008]
  5. HeartsinOhio

    HeartsinOhio New Member

    Thanks Bob. I am glad you are doing better. Being depressed is no fun. I have never had a serious depression, but it has been there at time. Things seem so hopeless. I wish you well.
    I am doing better regarding my loss of my friend. I feel like I lost her twice, when she broke off our friendship and now this. I honestly felt like she died when she abandon our friendship. But now I feel a different sadness. I know she won't be calling me to pick up where she left off.
    She had planned her death for weeks according to her son and the things they found left behind. Everything was in order, lots of letters to her husband and son. I felt bad that there was no mention of me.
    She had a true love in high school and beyond, but they broke up and she married her husband. I have thought about letting that true love know of her passing. I am not sure if I should. I can contact him, but have not spoken to him in 15 years. What do you think?
    Take care my friend.
    Pattie