Sad news, please pray

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by pepper, Dec 7, 2006.

  1. pepper

    pepper New Member

    My BIL had bladder cancer surgery this morning. Unfortunately when the surgeons opened him up they discovered that the tumour has grown too large to remove and it has roots that are wrapped around his arteries and veins and other organs. They removed the bladder and closed him up.

    He doesn't know about this yet. He and his wife are meeting with the doctors tomorrow. From what his wife told me, there is no chance of recovery and she expects that they will be given a time line, which in my experience is never accurate anyways.

    Now he needs prayers to deal with his prognosis and impending death. This will be the third sibling to die in 3 yrs. It is a lot for my hubby and his other brothers and sisters to deal with.

    Thank you all for praying.
    Love, Pepper
    [This Message was Edited on 12/07/2006]
  2. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    I am so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine what the family is going through right now. I don't know if you have mentioned this but I don't remember. Do they have children?

    Lord Jesus, I pray that you will surround this family with your comfort and your love. In the midst of all of this shock and pain give them hope and strength in this terrible situation. I pray for Pepper's husband who has gone through so much and I pray that you would not allow this to develop into a full blown depression.

    I pray for this wife who is in shock and disbelief at this time. I pray for comfort for her. Lead her through this valley Lord. Take her hand and don't let her fall away.

    Comfort Pepper right now too as she has felt the stress of all of these losses in her own mind and body. Lift her up and comfort her. Show her how she can be strong for her husband and show him how he can in turn be strong for her.

    Pepper if you need a shoulder to cry on we are here for you. I know it is not like the real thing in person but there is much comfort on this board. I feel like I know you even though we have not met in person. I feel your pain right now. I will lift you up to the Lord for comfort and strength.

    Try to take care of yourself in the midst of all of this. I know that has to be very difficult.

    Again, I am so sorry to hear this news. Take care dear sister.

  3. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    I am sorry that so much is facing your family. My mind is pulling a blank as to what to say other than simply, I am sorry. Prayers dear, lots of prayers.
  4. pepper

    pepper New Member

    There is nothing much anybody can do right now except pray and just be there. And you are doing both and I appreciate it so much.

    He is only 52 and has 2 children, 21 and 12. He has always been a hands-on dad. His career took a back seat to his wife's so that one of them (namely, he) could always be home when the kids got home from school.

    His wife and kids bought him a new recliner for Christmas and while he was in the hospital they had planned on painting the family room to match it. When he gets home from the hospital they were going to have it by the wood stove with a big bow on it.

    This is a very loving family and it is so sad to see them go through this. I think his wife was in shock when I was talking to her. I am still in shock. My hubby says that he was expecting this because he had never seen anyone go downhill so fast and he figured that the cancer had to be all through him.

    That is a beautifully written prayer, Nancy. Thank you so much for expressing our needs so eloquently since I am feeling a little tongue-tied at the moment.

    Love, Pepper
  5. caffey

    caffey New Member

    Judy: I really don't know what to say. I am so sorry. You know I am praying and whatever you need I am here. Remember I am sitting beside you loving you and watching. Father please come into the middle of this situation. Please bring Your peace and Your comfort. Please help them to know that somewhere in the midst of this awful situation You are here. Please help everyone as they get the news tommorrow. Lord I don't get it but we have to believe that You have a higher purpose in this. Please ease the physical pain and please give all those involved wisdom with whatever decisions have to be made. Lord I don't even really know how to pray at this moment but please take care of this precious family. Could You please give them a break and let something good happen to them? Please give Judy and her husband strength and wisdom in this situation. Please be their strength. Somehow Lord please be glorified and exalted in this mess. Thank you in Jesus Name Amen. Remember we are all here for you Judy. Whatever, whenever, just name it.
    Love ya
  6. 143alan

    143alan New Member

    Pepper I am so sorry and heartbroken about what your BIL and family are going through. Please know that he and his whole family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    I feel like I want to say so much and just can't but please know I do care and I'm so sorry. I wish this machine could show emotion and had some type of arms attached so if we gave it a command it would reach out and hug the person reading.

    Except that I can pray, I feel so helpless to do anything and I don't like that feeling. Prayer is a powerful thing though PTL.

    Take Care
  7. LOVED

    LOVED New Member

    so sorry to hear about your bil. i pray that the God of all comfort will be present and that His strength and peace will surround them. also pray that your hubby will feel His presence.

    regarding dire situations like this, my uncle(an old southern pentacostal preacher) says "when you are at the end of the road, remember you have just driven up to Jesus' front yard". having found myself many times at the end of the road(rope, etc) i just cling onto Jesus even if it is only by my finger tips. the hem of His garment is strong enough.

    seems like there are so many awful situations out there right now. our prayer chain(my church posts requests by email) is just full of heartbreaking news.

    all we can do is bring it to the throne.
    will keep your family in my prayers.

  8. pepper

    pepper New Member

    Cath, tigress, Nancy and loved, for being there and praying. It would be wonderful if your arms could reach through this machine! But I feel tremendous comfort knowing that you are all out there.

    The stress of this and talking to family members all over the country has sent me into a terrible flare. If I don't answer posts for awhile, that is why. I will answer when I am up to it. It means a lot to me that I can come here and feel your love and support when stuff like this happens.

    It has only been 7 weeks since their sister died of cancer so this is very hard on them all.

    I hope that you continue to pray for this situation, for my DH since he is the only family member left in this city so he will be responsible - again! - for supporting his dying sibling and family and letting everybody else know what is going on. Please pray for me that I can handle it all and be a support for my hubby.

    Love, Pepper
    [This Message was Edited on 12/08/2006]
  9. kgangel

    kgangel New Member

    Oh Pepper, I feel so bad and I was so hopeful for a better outcome.

    I will keep them in my prayers

    May God Bless you all and give you the strength and peace you need to get through this


  10. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    What a lot of grief to bear.Linda
  11. caffey

    caffey New Member

    Judy: Wasn't sure where to put this. I wanted you to find it. I wanted you to know that I will be posting reg. just to check up on you. I don't expect you to respond as you already have so many things to do. I just want you to be reminded that I am praying and am concerned. Remember I am asking God to do some "splainin"
    Love ya
  12. pepper

    pepper New Member

    Kgangel, thank you so much. I do need prayers for strength since I will not only have to be a support to my DH but to the rest of the family who will be descending on us to visit their brother. I need the strength to deal with all the company! They are a great family but they all talk so much. Sensory overload!

    Dear Pam, thank you for your prayers and support. It does seem that pain management is the top priority with the doctors and we are thankful for that. They are going to try sending him home in a week or two but if the pain can't be managed he will have to stay in the hospital until he dies. Which makes me wonder why they even removed the bladder! Why couldn't they have let him go as soon as the bladder gave up? Maybe this was discussed with Cammie and his wife before the surgery. We don't know.

    Thank you for your prayers, Linda. This is a lot of grief for one family. My DH is doing amazingly well through it all. Thank goodness for antidepressants right now. Not the answer for everyone but it is good for him.

    Cath, when his wife gave me the news, the first thing I thought of was that He has a lot of spainin' to do! I will check on the main board when I am up to it. Right now I only have the time and energy to go through email. I will talk to you soon. Thanks for being there.

    LittleBlueStem, I appreciate your prayers too. Remember I told you that my DH suspected that he wasn't being told everything. He was right. Cammie and his wife knew before the surgery that he was probably full of cancer and that he has 6 mo at the most to live. The rest of the family is upset that they didn't know that so Thursday wouldn't have been such a shock to them. But I understand that they had to come to terms with it themselves.

    Thanks to you all for being there.
    Love, Pepper
  13. kriket

    kriket New Member

    yes. This is very very sad. I will say a special prayer for your BIL. Sometimes life is just not fair. It can throw sharp curves at us in an instance. I will pray for you also. I know that you must be worn out emotionally.

  14. pepper

    pepper New Member

    for praying for me and for my BIL. I am worn out emotionally and that is wearing me out physically. All my CFS/FM symptoms get worse with stress - but you all know about that!

    I am trying to prepare myself for another onslaught of family coming to visit their brother while he is still lucid.

    When their sister was dying, my DH and I decided that the 20 yr old wallpaper in the downstairs hall and stairway had to go. We bought paint for the entire house - a good winter project. His sister died when the wallpaper was half off and that is where it stands now. What a mess! But it is not a priority right now.

    Thanks for your prayers, kriket. I couldn't sleep and am trying to distract myself for a bit on the computer. I was happy to see your message.

    Love, Pepper
  15. pepper

    pepper New Member

    But it would never happen, LittleBlueStem. My hubby would never hear of anyone coming to the city and not staying with us. This is a big family (they started off with 12 kids) and they hardly ever get together so they love the talking and eating and reminiscing.

    Even if my DH would entertain the idea, I know that his family would be horribly insulted. They grew up in a tiny house where everybody was on top of everybody else and they think nothing of noise and crowds. When they visit, if there aren't enough beds they will all just sleep on couches and the floor!

    I have learned out of necessity to excuse myself when I have had enough and just say that it is nap time or past my bedtime or whatever and I leave them to their socializing. Then I go to my bedroom and watch TV or just rest.

    My sister has offered refuge if I need it and I may take her up on it if it gets to be too much.

    You are very sweet, LittleBlueStem. Thank you for your concern.

    Love, Pepper
  16. kriket

    kriket New Member

    You are very welcome. Hope you are doing ok today. I am still thinking of you and your BIL and family. I will continue to pray that God will give all of you some comfort and strength as you all go through this together.

  17. pepper

    pepper New Member

    I feel myself getting stronger so the prayers must be helping. Please pray that this is not a long journey and that my BIL is out of his pain soon.

    Thank you.
    Love, Pepper
  18. kriket

    kriket New Member

    Will do. Try and get some rest, if you can. I know it is hard when dealing with tough issues like this one.