Sad News today , Left me feeling blue

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Jan 28, 2007.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    There are tears in my heart to night. This mornign I recieved the news that my Aunt how lives in Magrath CAnada had passed away during the night.

    She has a stroke about 3 weeks ago and was not ever going to get better. I got a e-mail last week telling me about her MRI Results that were not good. She did n't have a major event but her brain had shruck and was much smaller. She was having mini strokes and had a lot of them so that last one was just to much for her body to handle. She was in her 80's and this stroke had left her unable to use her right side , swollow, talk, and move. She was so fragile and was so miserabe and in a lot of pain. Her hips were causeing her pain before all of this started and as I was told that she was getting some bad bed sores after this stroke.

    Mind you I am not sad for her. AS she is out of pain and suffering. It is us who are left behind to remember all the good times we have had with her in our lives that are the sad ones. As it is a long trip by car I will not be going , I just can't drive that far and not get the rest I need. I will miss seeing cousins that I have not seen in many years. But as it is just not possialbe for me to go there I will have to stay at home and keep doing what I need to do.

    That right now is helping my 79 yr old mom , she has been sick alot over the past year and has not recoved in many ways. She feels that she can't do things she has always done that is depressing her. She hates being dependate on any one, but she does not feel comforatable to drive her car since she had vertigo 2 months ago.

    She is not dizzy anymore but she feels that there are not bright spots in her life to make it full of joy and happiness. She has alot of back pain and even with the Perocet 5's her pain is still there and sometimes off the scale. But she can't handle anything stonger as it knocks her out.So dispite of my own pain I will be driving her to work, That is the one bright place she has in her life.

    EVery one she works with in the school libary just loves her. They have all told me just how wonderful she is and how she always makes them smile and is so kind and nice. They don't get to see her when she can't do what she wants done now. She has been losing her temper and gets angry more often and loses it and will chew you out for minor things that just 6 months ago would not have bothered her.

    She is was happy to hold this new great grand daughter today and it was so good to see her with the baby. Mom was the one to get the baby happy and feeling better as she was holding her in the football hold and patting her tiny back , the baby was smiling as much as a 2 week old baby can. She also got kisses from her great grandson who is the big brother of this new baby.

    My grandson does not give kisses very often as he is a busy boy at 22 months old. HE is wild and all bouncy all the time. He has to be in mothion all the time. So getting him to give you a kiss and not get licked on the face is realy good.

    I had a good time this week end as the kids stayed her adn I got to hold my new grandbaby and just hold her and love her all I wanted to. She is still so tiny and sweet. I just love to hold her upagainst my chest and kiss her head. She is such a sweet baby and sleeps better than her older brother does.

    but as I help her today I kept thinking that life just keeps moving a new life comes in to the world and old one leaves the workd.
    I know that I am just mising my Aunt adn will miss out on seeing so many family that I have not seen in years. But would nlike to see more often. Losing some one dear to you on matter if you have not seen them in a long time is hard on you. I so wish that I could have told her that I love her and always well.. ]

    I want to be abel to tell my cousins that I am sorry for the loss but that I know that she lived a good life and was a good mother , Aunt and wife. I know that she is in a place where there is no more pain I am so thankful for that. But it is still sad to think that I will not be abel to seee her for a long time. I know that life much go one and is will but it is still hard to think about it.

    Now me and my aching , breaking body are crashing. The pain is getting to me. I have had bad leg aches and I get so sleepy as well as exhusted all the time. But there is much I have to do so I keep on moving and odoing the things I have to do no matter how hard it is.

    Thanks for letting me vent adn talk to you.


    HUS<
    Rosemarie
  2. springlakeorphan

    springlakeorphan New Member

    It sounds shallow when someone tells me "I am sorry for your loss". But after I think of it, what else can one say? It touched me that you wish to be near your family at this time. I have always lived far from "home". It's very sad that we do not all get together until there is a funeral. The last one was our mom, so I am now an orphan at 49 years old!:( Thank goodness that you have family near you now. Please enjoy those babies and remember, your aunt is always with you.
    Hopeing you will find peace and comfort..)))HUGS((( Mary
  3. rigby

    rigby New Member

    I just loss my Aunt a week ago she lived in TN I wanted to go so much. I could of went with my parents. But I have just taken in my granddaughter so I was unable to go I feel as if I missed something I needed to go to. I have not been to that area for 12 years so many relatives I would of love to see. We're getting much older who know what could be next. I understnd your feelings. Sharon
  4. gumama

    gumama New Member

    I feel your Pain. I lost my Mom 6 weeks ago.. it was hard watching her go down hill and I understand about the bed sores and how they get so frustrated.

    Your right your aunt is in a better place, but its very hard on those of us left behind.... I was with my Mom everyday of the 9 months she was in the nursing home. before that she lived with me for 2 yrs.

    Her condition continued getting worse ( neuropathy) and she couldn't walk and I just couldn't take care of her anymore, Mom was 88. I miss her everyday..

    I'm sure your Aunt knew you loved her. and I'm sorry you can't be with your family... we should all take heed that we need to tell those we love how we feel about them everyday..life is short and were only promised today.

    my thoughts and prayers are with you

    gumama
  5. kirschbaum26

    kirschbaum26 New Member

    Dear Rosemarie:

    I lost my aunt Gale at the tender age of 51. That was 15 years ago, and I still miss her nearly every day. I hope that you can take some solace in the fact that she had a nice, long life, filled with love and joy.

    Ingrid