Sad News.......

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Msdeana, Apr 2, 2011.

  1. Msdeana

    Msdeana New Member

    Its been awhile since I visited this board and posted. My life has not changed much and I am still fighting that never ending battle for SSDI. This past month has been hard. I will tell you the short version because the long one is boring. My husband of six yrs left me. With no real reason except him having mental issues due to the loss of his mother in Jan 2011 and demanding a divorce...with no found reasoning in my opinion. However, in his minds eye, he sees our discussion where I do not agree with his opinion 100% as an argument.

    The more I look back and think about it, his true personality has been peeking through over the yrs rearing its ugly head. He is controlling, and has been abusive. Most of it I took in stride, as he was in therapy. Until Dec 2010. He keeps texting and calling saying hurtful words, adding he will not come home to talk about anything, as I will try and change his mind. Even after I said, I will listen and you tell me, he still thought I was lying, controlling etc.

    Of course all this has caused more pain than I care to mention, sleepless nights and my not wanting to eat properly. I am taking this a day at a time as to look further scares me. I may not be able to even see the replies, because he is also talking about shutting everything off. I know I did nothing wrong, I cannot fix what is broken, nor is it my job too. I will move on, try to remain strong and hopeful.

    Huggies Deana
  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Hope you see this. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

    Love, Mikie
  3. Msdeana

    Msdeana New Member

    Thanks, I see it. All is quiet for now....I do not know if its the calm before the storm, or he has just run out of ways to harass me. LOL take care.
  4. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    Iam so sorry you are having to deal with this. I had an abusive marriage also.

    Is it possible for you to put the phone and utilities in your name? change the locks? contact them tell them you are disabled and he is threating to do this.

    You maybe able to get medicaid while waiting for your ssdi,now that he has left. block him from your phone. better yet save the texts.

    best of luck
  5. babyk902

    babyk902 New Member

    i can actually relate.. i was dating someone for about 5 1/2 years (6 years in July), we weren't married, but we might as well have been since we were so serious and lived together for so long. We broke up a few months back, and it's been another struggle (on top of my current health struggle that I'm dealing with), and I've been really upset about it. We broke up because he just couldn't handle my being sick, and we just eventually hit rock bottom. I also took a step back and realized that maybe this is for the best. He was a very controlling, manipulative, negative person, and honestly with all of my issues I don't need that in my life. A friend of mine told me that everything that happens is a new exciting chapter in our lives, and I'm honestly looking forward to a new future and new beginnings. I hope that you can find some positivity out of this whole situation, and take time to focus on yourself. Maybe this would have been inevitable had he not made any rash decisions? It's definintely not easy though, and I wish you the best.
  6. Msdeana

    Msdeana New Member

    He says my health problems don't bother him and he was very caring that way. In the back of my mind, I am wondering if he married me, because I looked needy, or needed rescued. It hurts so bad I am fighting a mental breakdown. Just last weekend we were planning what to do for our anniversary in May. Then this....I just don't know. I talked with one of our so called friends, and she says he is not angry and wants to do the right thing, if that is the case why is she doing the talking for him. We were working out our problems with communication and doing 90% better, or so I thought. To make me more upset, this friend said, "What happens if you don't get SSDI?" I lost it and had to hang up......what will happen to me. I am not stupid enough to harm myself, but worried, I will be homeless with no were to live or go. Hangin in there by a thread!!!
  7. Scapper

    Scapper New Member

    I'm so sorry to hear of your struggle!!!! I read your post the other day and found myself thinking of you today -- my heart goes out to you.

    I've been on the receiving end of a relationship ending OUT OF NOWHERE and I was left w/ my head spinning! That "what just happened" feeling was awful. So when you said, one minute you were planning your anniversary, and the next he's gone -- struck home for me.

    I wish I had a concrete answer for you. It took me TIME. I don't wish this type of abrupt ending on felt like he was a "fraud" and I sat trying to figure out what was "real" in the end.....I've had many relationships and this type ending was by far the most difficult!

    All I can say is people are "damaged" and don't always act appropriately......unfortunately!

    But, in the end, we have to take care of ourselves, regardless of what others do to us, or don't do for us.

    Please find that strength for yourself and utilize ALL of the support you have in your life! I personally found it A MUST to talk about until I exhausted all words (but that's me).

    Again, I'm sorry for your pain.

    If I can help you on here in any way, I will.

  8. street129

    street129 New Member

    i havnt been here for years, but i still have my chronic fatigue.and im back... i look at a program on tv very night, a bible progam, i will keep you in prayers. its best to let this person, go... he isn't doing you no good. except harm. let jesus be your first love. your sister in christ gretel
  9. Msdeana

    Msdeana New Member

    I agree with the ole saying. At this point in time, I do not want him nor need him. I am a survivor. I will pray a lot, take things a step at a time. I also rely on my preacher and a few close and caring friends. I may not be able to post any more or see the replies because to day hubby shut the house phone off, and I know internet will soon follow. I do have my cell phone, its in my name and he cannot touch it. Huggies Deana.