Sad, tired and feeling just a tad helpless :(

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by autumn_rain, Oct 2, 2010.

  1. autumn_rain

    autumn_rain New Member

    Hi all,

    I dont post much, but I'm having a terrible day and cant seem to jolt myself outa it, so thought I'd turn to u lot for a bit of help.

    Ive had CFS for 15years now, only recently been diagnosed however. Im studying to be a cardiac physiologist, in my third year of 4years, and im finding it more and more difficult. I wrk in the NHS pretty much full time and study on the side for the degree. I dont want to moan about this because i know people on here have it a whole lot worse and so did I 10years ago when i couldnt get out of bed. But its all soooo difficult now and i feel like im useless. Im trying so hard to keep going because i absolutly love my job, but its such hard work and im terrified i may not be able to keep going much longer.

    I have no weekends anymore because i have to save all the energy for the week to be at work and not let them down. Then when i have to do essays i feel like im litraly going to die and feel a whole wave of CFS coming down on me and im so afraid im going to relapse into severe CFS again. I cant take time out due to how the course works and theyve just changed it all, so if i did end up having to take time out i would have to quit the beloved job and start all over again from scratch. Im soooo close to being done, yet it seems just a bit too far at the minute.

    Sorry for the massive moan, i just dont no wat to do. any ideas or pearls of wisdom??

    much love to all, hope ur having a better day than me :O)
    xxx
  2. mbofov

    mbofov Active Member

    Are you in the UK? I ask because you mention the NHS. If you are, I suggest you go see Dr. Sarah Myhill (http://www.drmyhill.co.uk/), or deal with her via phone or e-mail. She can run several tests and may be able to help you.

    I live in California, and had tests done through her office that I couldn't get here. I had to send blood samples via Fed Ex (which was a bit pricey). Anyways, it was worth it to me to get the tests done. She does something called a mitochondrial profile test which was very useful, also another to measure CoQ10 levels.

    You are in a tight spot. It is really too bad you can't arrange to take some time off.

    Also, have you ever tried d-ribose for energy? You are supposed to take small doses (1/2 tsp.) every couple of hours as it has a short half-life (one of the things I learned from Dr. Myhill). It helps the cells produce ATP for energy.


    Take care -

    Mary
  3. PITATOO

    PITATOO Member

    This is the place to come and vent/complain/moan whatever you wnat to call it. I know you feel alone in this and feel you can't go on any longer. I think we all can relate at some level. I have had CFIDS/FMS for over 15 years and find it harder and harder as the years go by. I love my work also, maybe not the place where I work and the people so much but I love what I do. I travel a lot and wonder how I can do it much longer. I am sitting in my hotel room right now trying to get up enough energy to get a shower, prepare for the class I am teaching here and trying to act like everything is normal. I am also fighting a virus or something on top of everything. My weekends also are not for "family time" , "personal time" they are strictly for recovery so I can work another week. Saturdays are a complete loss as it takes me most of the day just to start feeling human again. Sunday is somewhat better, but if I do too much around the house or anything else then I overdue it for my next week of work. If I am traveling it is even worse. This week I won't even get back home until Saturday evening about 10pm, so I will just have Sunday. People/family ask me why I am not remarried or back in a relationship, I don't feel I could give it a 100% or even somewhere close. I don't think I could burden someone at this stage; it is just not fair. Anyways, I am moaning now. Just wanted to give you another perspective and it is "nice" to hear someone else is going through similiar issues. I wish I could give you words of wisdom but it sounds like I am in the same position, do I continue in this direction until I complete drop or make some changes??????

    Fibro-Hugs and good luck.
  4. PITATOO

    PITATOO Member

    This is the place to come and vent/complain/moan whatever you wnat to call it. I know you feel alone in this and feel you can't go on any longer. I think we all can relate at some level. I have had CFIDS/FMS for over 15 years and find it harder and harder as the years go by. I love my work also, maybe not the place where I work and the people so much but I love what I do. I travel a lot and wonder how I can do it much longer. I am sitting in my hotel room right now trying to get up enough energy to get a shower, prepare for the class I am teaching here and trying to act like everything is normal. I am also fighting a virus or something on top of everything. My weekends also are not for "family time" , "personal time" they are strictly for recovery so I can work another week. Saturdays are a complete loss as it takes me most of the day just to start feeling human again. Sunday is somewhat better, but if I do too much around the house or anything else then I overdue it for my next week of work. If I am traveling it is even worse. This week I won't even get back home until Saturday evening about 10pm, so I will just have Sunday. People/family ask me why I am not remarried or back in a relationship, I don't feel I could give it a 100% or even somewhere close. I don't think I could burden someone at this stage; it is just not fair. Anyways, I am moaning now. Just wanted to give you another perspective and it is "nice" to hear someone else is going through similiar issues. I wish I could give you words of wisdom but it sounds like I am in the same position, do I continue in this direction until I complete drop or make some changes??????

    Fibro-Hugs and good luck.
  5. spacee

    spacee Member

    is sold here at Prohealth and they ship to the UK. Kinda pricey though.
    It works on the cellular energy too .

    NADH 10 for a young person 15 for age 60.
    I get it in 5mg so that I can take a third one later in the day, if I need it.
    But don't take after 3pm. You might not sleep soundly.

    And thought of one more. Extreme B-12 sold here too. 10,000mcgs that
    you put under your tongue and let dissolve.

    Hope something works for you!! We care!!

    Spacee
  6. AllWXRider

    AllWXRider New Member

    CFS is multifaceted and multicausal.
    Have you read Dr. Teitelbaum's book: From Fatigued to Fantastic?

    SHINE
    Sleep + Hormonal balance + Infections + Nutrition + mild Exercise
  7. autumn_rain

    autumn_rain New Member

    Thanks all for the lovly messages :) It always helps to know theres other people out there like me! I particularly like the idea of taking things 30mins at a time, which i have adopted at work, if i suddenly get struck with fatigue or the IBS that usually comes hand in hand with my fatigue, then i see if i can last just 30mins more and often ill feel just a little bit better!

    All the other wisdom has been so helpfull, so thanks all for all the kind words, i hope ur all doing ok :)

    xxx
  8. gknee

    gknee New Member

    I totally understand how you all feel. Pitatoo I sound like a carbon copy of you. I am a single mom who teachers school on the weekdays and spends the entire weekend trying to gather my strength for the next week. I crash on Saturday and don't feel better until Sunday around 3 o"clock. If I don't do that the next week is even worse.

    The last thing I want is a relationship. It's just too much energy. It's enough having a son in college and one in high school. I can't imagine going to school.

    I am sitting here in tears just thinking about how I am going to feel after this Thanksgiving week off of work. I have just gotten over one of my worst flares. I felt like **** for the past month. I had to take sick days just to get over one week. I am sure I would have still been flaring if I hadn't had this week off. I feel much better now. Put it this way I still feel bad just a little better. You all know what I am talking about.