Saw a new doc today.....TERRIBLE bedside manner

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by karen55, Jan 20, 2003.

  1. karen55

    karen55 New Member

    I went to the endocrinologist today that my rheumy referred me to. As soon as I walked in, I was asked "are you here for thyroid or diabetes?" I explained that I was referred by another doctor and why, and wasn't sure exactly "what" I was there for. There were 2 pages of questions I had to answer. They had told me to bring a list of the meds I was on and any serious illnesses/surgeries I'd had, which I did. He didn't even look at these 2 pages of questions (which asked about histories of illness in me as well as family members), nor the surgeries. All he looked at was the meds I was on. Then he asked me "How did you get on all these bad drugs?" I said "Excuse me?" So he repeated himself, and I told him they were prescribed meds. He then asked how often I took them. Honestly, I wonder why I bothered filling all that info out. It was RIGHT THERE in front of the man. Then he said to me "Don't you know how abused Soma is?" I looked straight at him and told him "I" was not abusing it or any of the other meds I was on, I was taking them EXACTLY as they were prescribed. Then he asked me "what doctor is giving you all these drugs?"
    Then, he tried to make it sound like I was depressed! He kept saying "back pain is depressing, isn't it?" I told him that I never thought it was particularly depressing, it was a fact of life, at least for me, and I just live with it. And I told him that my back was not bothering me as much as all the other pain I'd been having for the last couple of years. He said "I notice you're on Paxil for depression", and I told him I was put on Paxil for panic attacks. And he kept repeating, "but back pain's depressing, isn't it?"
    What is up with that?????? Sure, when you have a lot of pain you get down and depressed. But I have a feeling this guy is going to try and put all of this on depression! He sent me to have some bloodwork done, told me to come back in 2 weeks, and walked out.
    I'm so mad right now. He may be a "good" doctor, but his attitude sucks, just like the neurosurgeon who did my back surgeries but who wouldn't prescribe anything for pain for me. In fact, this doc today was singing the neuro docs praises. I got the impression he was going to try to get my other docs to take me off of my meds.
    This doctor merry-go-round thing is new to me. I love my osteo and my rheumy and felt so fortunate to have found 2 great docs, but this guy today, I do not like at all. I really felt like he was trying to provoke me when he was asking me about these "bad" drugs and going on about Soma abuse. I'm sure if I had shown I was angry with him, he would have said I was aggressive or something like that.
    I don't know what to expect next.
  2. lisjhn

    lisjhn New Member

    It really irritates me to hear yet another doctor who abuses us in this way. If we could only put a little voodoo on them and put them in our shoes for a day, maybe their bedside manner would change just a little!

    ~LISA
  3. karen55

    karen55 New Member

    All I know is the rheumy wanted me to see him for hormone/thyroid related tests.

    And I agree with your label: endocringelologist
    He certainly made me cringe!
  4. Betsy2

    Betsy2 New Member

    The first time I was referred to a rheamatologist, it was this jerk who was gruff and had terrible bedside manner. He too asked if I was depressed and sent my doctor a diagnosis recommending that my thyroid be checked. My mother remembered that same rheaumie coming to her floor in the hospital when she was an RN. She didn't like him back then either. I finally switched doctors and was referred to the best rheaumie in town. She diagnosed my fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue and arthritis. My mother remembers when she was doing her internship at the hospital and couldn't say enough positive things about her.
  5. ejay

    ejay New Member

    karen i had a car acc. in 89 lft me with epilepsy in all4 prts of brain mst people onle have in 1.my family doc and neuro moved at same time last year my husband attends all appts.this time he went away for 3 days fishing first time since accident and i relized i was out of epilepsy drug thought i had repeat and didn't so went to clinic and brought all my meds so he knew what i was on when i told him about fibr he asked me if hubby had left me yet they all do you know he said and then he tried to tell me epilepsy drug was just a narcotic and i was addicted. i've been to 32 neuros fromsunnybrook london to kingston and this jerk told me all i needed was a shrink i guess cat scans etc don't exist in his world'i couldnt stop crying my kids 18,18.22 couldn't handle illness and i really couldn't take care of them like i should so they went to other parents the last thing i needed be told was what he was saying when hubby came home dr lucky to alive and we wrote of to what he will get back somday as it always goes around til then walk out if they aren't going to help.hold your head up. ejay
  6. karen55

    karen55 New Member

    He asked me what kind of work I did and when I told him, he said "you'd be a lot better off if you quit work". I told him I'd always worked, and he said, "well, can't your husband support you?".
    GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! This guy was SO crass!

    I have a follow-up with the rheumy (who referred me to him) on Monday, and I plan on telling her how this visit went, although I will be very polite while being honest about it.
    [This Message was Edited on 01/20/2003]
  7. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I'm so sorry for this horrible experience. If docs would spend as much time and energy in helping their patients and explaining things to them as they do talking down to them and abusing them, it would be such a much better experience for doctor and patients alike.

    My Stepdad was a sweet and caring old fashioned doc and his patients loved him.

    Love, Mikie
  8. dan0248

    dan0248 New Member

    I have always tried to be nice, BUT when someone like this comes across my path and that I'm paying for I will not put up with it for split second. Would you eat a raw steak, or a burnt hamburger at any restaurant. Would you allow someone to talk to one of your kids like that, HELL no you wouldn't, and you don't have too. I would telling him or her up front hey just a minute maybe you are used to talking to your dog or your cat or your wife, but I'm neither of these so just back off. You can file a complaints, and I would tell them in a heart beat. I may just stop in and see my Doctor and give him a hug or shake his hand or buy him a cup of coffee. Just remember what you allow to happen will repete it's self over and over.
  9. pearls

    pearls New Member

    When I first got the "FIBRO THAT WOULDN'T GO AWAY," which for me started with a sinus infection, my PCP sent me to an ear/nose/throat doc. I was very frustrated not knowing why my infection would not clear up and feeling terribly vunerable. "HIS HIGHNESS" walked in the door. He curtly asked me why I was there and I told him it was for what I thought was a sinus infection.

    His reply? "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE STATISTICS ARE FOR SINUS INFECTION? -This, in a very irritated, superior tone, no less. I was flabbergasted. Flipping through my file (I had seen another doc there several times before who had switched to only pediatric otolaryngology), he commented that it looked like the previous DX's were made without proof, or something to that effect. So he ordered an X-ray, which was done in the building. I was so shocked by his rudeness I didn't remember until I was in X-ray that the file not only contained a previous x-ray for one instance, but a CT scan for another, both of which proved sinus infections! There's more to the story - but I'll shorten it - except to add that on top of all that, the x-ray machine was hot from use all day and I had to have it done THREE TIMES before I finally had the proof the jerk demanded.
    [This Message was Edited on 01/21/2003]
  10. karen55

    karen55 New Member

    to vent. I'm still really irritated this morning, but not boiling mad like I was last night.
    Madwolf, you are right. My own father was a heart/lung doc, in a small town no less, and as much as I miss the man, I have to admit, he had a holier than thou attitude; what you say makes complete sense to me. I think classes in medical school on inter-personal relationships should be mandatory - some docs need to be reminded that their patients are human beings with functioning brains and emotions - it would make for much better doctors, IMO.
  11. marcus1243

    marcus1243 New Member

    with an endocrinologist. He just sat there, told her she was simply depressed then proceeded to get irritable and nasty once he'd managed to make her cry. Good job I wasn't around or else I'd have demonstrated first hand to him the results of an extreme adrenaline surge and too much testosterone. Endocrinologists are like neurologists but with bigger chips on their shoulders. Remember, the more specialized they are, the more they need a reality check!
    warm wishes,
    Marcus
  12. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    ..this guy had NOTHING going for him, Karen! Sorry you had to go through this dismal experience.

    I see a doctor, though, with virtually no personality or bedside manner. Like talking to a rock. But, I have learned a lot about some of the underlying causes of my FM from him (he's an FM/CFS-specialist allergist, uses both traditional & alternative medicine) and every time I'm there talking to him, I try to remember what I've gotten from him in the way of info & recommendations.....I try to accept him as is, because I have gained some knowledge from him.

    To better doctors (say, a whole country of Madwolves!),
    Pam
  13. karen55

    karen55 New Member

    I wouldn't have gotten so bent out of shape with this doc if he had offered me something in the way of information or explanations. He made a comment to the effect of "well, all these tests your other doctor wants me to run have to do with fatigue, you aren't fatigued TOO, are you? Well, I guess we can run these tests and if anything shows up we can do a _ _ _ _ _ _" (something I had NO clue what it was, and right now can't remember the wording) I wrote that down as my 2nd biggest complaint, mind you, he just didn't read it. When I asked him what that was, he literally waved his hand in the air at me and told me he wasn't going to waste the time going into it unless it was something I needed to know about. Well, EXCUSE me! LOL Anyway, my mindless point being, he was unwilling to really discuss anything about anything with me.....except, of course, depression! I wonder if perhaps HE's the one who's depressed?!? :)