SayCheese tell or not CFS

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by beans, Nov 19, 2002.

  1. beans

    beans New Member

    Cheese goes with Beans.
    I need people to know I have CFS if I see them often.So they are not overly disapointed in me.
    I want them to know I have a limitation that keeps me from doing more with them and for them.

    But then I want them to leave it alone.
    Give me my space so to say.
    Be there for me when I need it.
    And don't expect to much out of me.

    Recently my husband told a new friend and her family we were having lunch with for the first time that I had CFS.

    We ran into these people one weekend morning they were in town and were planning on eating out alone.
    We knew them briefly and found them to be fun people.
    I wanted to spend more time with them.

    I was really planning on heading home to bed and instead I asked them to go for a meal with us.
    I was indeed tired but again thought I could eek the last of my reserves for the day and then suffer later.

    They live an hour away from us so when we ran into them I wanted to take the opportunity to spend some time with them.
    Lunch is easier than having supper.

    In the restaurant.
    I was at the buffet bar when Green my husband told them that I had CFS .
    She was asking other questions prior to that.
    I think she could see in my face that I had an illness.
    She probably seen I was tired.
    So she wanted to know what was.wrong.
    When I returned to my place she says so you have CFS as if I wanted to talk about it.

    I asked so who told you?

    And I didn't say much more about it.

    Its good people know that I have it. BUT.

    It was a bit strange the next time we were out with them .

    We went to the town they live in to see them again and went out with them and a couple of other friends they invited that we knew of but didn't know well.

    I was doing Ok, tired of course but Ok it was noon and I knew that I could push my self and travel home go to bed for the afternoon.

    I would of loved to go to the movies they have a big screen in that town and I have not seen my Big Fat Greek Wedding yet.

    But CFS only allowed me the meal at noon with my friends.

    I was really enjoying my self, happy , lively and going strong on tea.

    The new friend asked me very sweetly infront of the others toward the end of out meal how I was doing.

    I cannot come up with the right description of the way she asked it even though it was done sweetly it was a bit strange.

    Sorta in a soft sweet condescending manner.

    There were others things she could of said to me.

    I was wearing a new out fit she could of said I like your new out fit etc.
    I fix up that day she could of said you look nice.

    No she had to ask me infront of others who were watching to see how I was going to answer, so how are you.

    I do not know if the other couple even knew I had CFS but she must of told them.

    Maybe I felt like a freak in a side show or some thing.

    I don't know what is wrong with me that made me feel so uncomfortable.

    I was doing the best I could do and pulling all my energy to have a great time.

    Happy, not sad.

    So I made a joke out of it and said you give me choice of multiply answers to answer that one with.

    So she gave 5 or 6 all negative sounding answers. Like I am feeling terrible or I am feeling really bad etc.

    Her last one was I am just OK.

    So I said I will stick with the Just Ok.

    And that was the end of that conversation.

    It was the most positive answer.
    I was too tired to talk about how I was feeling in my head it was one of those days when you are ignoring the fact you are tired and just waiting the time to go to bed.

    Burning the last drop of gas in the tank then you are well aware you will crash.

    Trying to live a few hours of Normal life.
    Living life fully.

    I think to her now I am just the person with CFS.
    At times you do not want to be just the person with CFS.

    I am so much more.

    My husband and I talked about her on the way home and he even said there is some thing there about her he can't figure out.

    I am wondering what is her struggle that she didn't feel free to talk about what is she hiding?

    It would be some what easier if the whole world had CFS.
    But who wants to wish that on any one.

    Beans








  2. beans

    beans New Member

    Cheese goes with Beans.
    I need people to know I have CFS if I see them often.So they are not overly disapointed in me.
    I want them to know I have a limitation that keeps me from doing more with them and for them.

    But then I want them to leave it alone.
    Give me my space so to say.
    Be there for me when I need it.
    And don't expect to much out of me.

    Recently my husband told a new friend and her family we were having lunch with for the first time that I had CFS.

    We ran into these people one weekend morning they were in town and were planning on eating out alone.
    We knew them briefly and found them to be fun people.
    I wanted to spend more time with them.

    I was really planning on heading home to bed and instead I asked them to go for a meal with us.
    I was indeed tired but again thought I could eek the last of my reserves for the day and then suffer later.

    They live an hour away from us so when we ran into them I wanted to take the opportunity to spend some time with them.
    Lunch is easier than having supper.

    In the restaurant.
    I was at the buffet bar when Green my husband told them that I had CFS .
    She was asking other questions prior to that.
    I think she could see in my face that I had an illness.
    She probably seen I was tired.
    So she wanted to know what was.wrong.
    When I returned to my place she says so you have CFS as if I wanted to talk about it.

    I asked so who told you?

    And I didn't say much more about it.

    Its good people know that I have it. BUT.

    It was a bit strange the next time we were out with them .

    We went to the town they live in to see them again and went out with them and a couple of other friends they invited that we knew of but didn't know well.

    I was doing Ok, tired of course but Ok it was noon and I knew that I could push my self and travel home go to bed for the afternoon.

    I would of loved to go to the movies they have a big screen in that town and I have not seen my Big Fat Greek Wedding yet.

    But CFS only allowed me the meal at noon with my friends.

    I was really enjoying my self, happy , lively and going strong on tea.

    The new friend asked me very sweetly infront of the others toward the end of out meal how I was doing.

    I cannot come up with the right description of the way she asked it even though it was done sweetly it was a bit strange.

    Sorta in a soft sweet condescending manner.

    There were others things she could of said to me.

    I was wearing a new out fit she could of said I like your new out fit etc.
    I fix up that day she could of said you look nice.

    No she had to ask me infront of others who were watching to see how I was going to answer, so how are you.

    I do not know if the other couple even knew I had CFS but she must of told them.

    Maybe I felt like a freak in a side show or some thing.

    I don't know what is wrong with me that made me feel so uncomfortable.

    I was doing the best I could do and pulling all my energy to have a great time.

    Happy, not sad.

    So I made a joke out of it and said you give me choice of multiply answers to answer that one with.

    So she gave 5 or 6 all negative sounding answers. Like I am feeling terrible or I am feeling really bad etc.

    Her last one was I am just OK.

    So I said I will stick with the Just Ok.

    And that was the end of that conversation.

    It was the most positive answer.
    I was too tired to talk about how I was feeling in my head it was one of those days when you are ignoring the fact you are tired and just waiting the time to go to bed.

    Burning the last drop of gas in the tank then you are well aware you will crash.

    Trying to live a few hours of Normal life.
    Living life fully.

    I think to her now I am just the person with CFS.
    At times you do not want to be just the person with CFS.

    I am so much more.

    My husband and I talked about her on the way home and he even said there is some thing there about her he can't figure out.

    I am wondering what is her struggle that she didn't feel free to talk about what is she hiding?

    It would be some what easier if the whole world had CFS.
    But who wants to wish that on any one.

    Beans