I'm very new here. I'm kind of looking for some support from a stranger. Does that sound strange? I don't want anyone close to me to know how I really feel. I don't feel safe around myself anymore. I have been taking a lot of extra pain pills to make myself feel numb. I know it's not healthy...but part of me just doesn't care anymore. I almost just feel like letting go...I think about killing myself on a daily basis. But I am a young single mom with a rotten ex-husband that would be a horrible father if I died. I can honestly say that I would be dead by now if it were not for my son. My ex beat me. I could never let my son be introduced to that...I left my ex when my son was just an infant. I'm 25 and he is 5. I need help. I know this. I'm too afraid to get it. Does anyone have any ideas about self help for these sort of feelings? Thank you.