SCARED have to testify in trial have social phobia

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Rene, Jun 20, 2006.

  1. Rene

    Rene New Member

    I sure have been through a lot. My moms caregiver was (bleeping off) in front of her!! Sick! She is only 66 but completely bedridden.

    I have to testify in court and the only good part is the DA will accomodate me to the time I want that is better for me.
    He said the longest I will be there is for an hour (at court) I go to testify?? The DA goes no just to be there

    I am extremely scared of this creap who did this to my mom and I am exteamly scared to talk in front of a group let a lone about this. I can't even talk about it period so how am I gonna do it infront of the CREAP and A room full of people???
    I don't have anyone to be there for me but it wouldn't matter as I am REALLY scared.


  2. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    In some cases you can ask to give a video testimony. Why not ask and see?

    Love Anne C
  3. musikmaker

    musikmaker New Member

    Cromwell has a good idea. Sure could make it easier. Do you take anything for the social anxiety like Paxil? It helps me.

    Maybe you can get something from your Doc just for that day like Xanax? Good luck. I know this will be hard.
  4. spacee

    spacee Member

    But I think you need some xanax. It is a tranquilizer. And can work fast and for a short time without having to get on something like Paxil that people with social phobia take everyday.

    I have used it for my sons weddings and my mother's funeral so I am not recommending something that I have not used.

    What an ordeal for you! (((((HUGS)))).

  5. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Thanks for your replies. I'd like to try for the video I think. The creap goes in a few days to make a plea and the trial is next week. Its way better to be in person. The creap did this to my invalid mom 20 times horrible.

    I can't take Paxil, it makes me nervous and I am taking xanax and that barely helps and valuim makes me depressed. I'm a mess right now. I did go to pick up more xanax and Wal greens says my medicare plan won't cover it now.

  6. spmary

    spmary New Member

    Honey, I don't think you will have to say a word if he is going to plea. I went with my daughter when the cretin that raped her was going to plea and she didn't have to say anything. We had gone through two trials and was starting a third when he decided to take the plea. So hope that is the case with you. But get the doctor to give you something. He will understand. Good luck and lots of prayers and hughs. Mary
  7. TXFMmom

    TXFMmom New Member

    I have had to testify in Federal Court, and state court, in civil and criminal. I have been an expert witness, a witness, and the plaintiff.

    All you have to do is focus on the questioner and the jury.

    Being nervous is okay, but just act as if you are in a room with a person on a one on one basis. LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, DO NOT RUSH TO ANSWER THE QUESTION, AND DON'T ANTICIPATE WHAT THEY ARE ASKING AND ANSWER BEFORE THEY ARE DONE.

    The jury wants to hear the truth.

    The prosecuting attorney will not treat you in a hostile manner. THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY WILL.

    Just try to remain calm, let them rant and rave, and if you don't understand what they have just asked, say so, be it the Prosecutor or Defense.

    I sat calmly through a rant by the Defense Attorney and just stared calmly at him at the end of the ramp, until he almost had a stoke, and calmly said, I don't recognize a question in what you just said. He was more or less testifying himself.

    That wiped him out, as he had to narrow it to a question.

    If you are afraid of the guy, then focus on the attorney and the jury. Only look at him as you are asked to identify him. Calmly turn and point to him and call him by name.

    Then, if they start that stupid, could it be, could he have, could there be, state, almost anything could be possible, I suppose, in some situations, but in this situation, I KNOW THIS IS THE TRUTH AND THIS IS THE ANSWER. Shuts them up every time.

    When I testifed as a medical expert witness, they started that couldn't it, or could it, or whatever, and I just answered that it was very, very unlikely that anything of the sort may have happened in this situation. Then, I said, we could sit here all day with possible this and that scenarios, but in this case, I know this is the truth and the facts.


    Just answer truthfully, do not embellish, look at the jury when you are adament, and make eye contact with them, and do not let their response effect yours.

    YOU can do this. If you live with one of these awful diseases, THEN THE TESTIFYING WILL BE A PIECE OF CAKE, COMPARED TO THAT.
  8. TXFMmom

    TXFMmom New Member

    I did not read the responses until after I made my first post.


    Do some deep, slow breathing through your mouth, and invision yourself relaxing from the top of your head down the head, the neck, the arms, the body, etc. while breathing deeply, but slowly, exhaling slowly.

    This is a self-hypnosis approach and it works.

    Don't take something and loose your chance to help your mother.

    You may be asked about your medications, and calmly say what they are, that they are prescribed by a medical doctor, and that you were not effecting your ability to interpret what you saw and heard, or what you are saying. STay calm about it.
  9. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Why can't the attorney just take your deposition and use it in court? Ask him about it. Then you wouldn't have to go to court at all.

    (A deposition is a testimony made under oath that is writen down to be used later--as in when in court.)

  10. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi thanks for the replies again. Well They DON"T think hes gonna plea guilty or no contest. He'd have to register as a sex offender and the DA said it doesn't look like its going that way.

    Public speaking to me is scary as walking on a tightrope or being met with a bear or something. Even before I got sick I had public speaking phobia big time. I've been a shut in and live alone so its worse. I will let you guys know as the trial is on the 29th.
    Thanks and I'll keep rereading your posts for help.

    Maybe I will try the hypnosis too good idea. I wish I could have a beer as I haven't had one in years and than would always calm me but that wouldn't be good in court. Maybe I'll get one now!!!!!!!

    Thanks again,

  11. kriket

    kriket New Member

    I am dealing with social anxiety too and social phobia. I was thinking the other day that if I ever had to testify in court, I would probably lock smooth up. Is there any way that you could go for a few therapy sessions first before you have to testify in court? Maybe he/she could help to teach you how to relax under so much pressure.

  12. baanders

    baanders New Member

    PLEASE DO NOT TAKE ANY NEW MEDICATIONS BECAUSE YOU MIGHT LOOK LIKE YOU'VE BEEN TAKING DOPE. I agree with the one person who said you should try practicing by going to therapy. Find a good psychiatrist. Also, it's good to get the most professional help you can get for this disorder outside of the court. It can be disabling.

    BTW, please don't drink any caffeinated beverages that day or else you will be more nervous...

    My prayers are with you, Rene
    God bless you and give you His peace.

  13. onnaroll

    onnaroll New Member

    I have that phobia too! its BAD isent it? I like the breathing exercise, seem like it would help you relax more. wish i could help more, but when you said you had it big time, just wanted you to know your soooooo not alone..=)
    BEST of luck and just remember that justous should be served!!! I mean look what hes done to your mom! just makes me sick.... please let us know how it goes ...

    hugs onna
  14. ruby711

    ruby711 New Member

    I was petrified when I had to do this but it ended up working out well. I think the DA probably sensed my fear because he stood in front of me toward the back of the room. I kept my eyes on him the whole time. If you tell the DA he will most likely try to help you thru it.
  15. sascha

    sascha Member

    i sure can relate. i always hated doing public speaking and it was a nightmare for me. my advice is 1) talk frankly with the DA and get as much help and understanding from him (or whoever is handling your case on your side). 2) prepare, prepare, prepare- work hard to know everything you can about what will/might come up, and know the inf. you need to get out stone cold. 3) psych yourself up constantly on your own- tell yourself repeatedly that what you will accomplish is very very important; that you deserve this chance to pull it off; that you can do it. 4) think how proud of yourself you will be when it is all done and you have done your very best. 5) take yourself out for that beer when it is all over. and 6) report back to us! best wishes for success, Sascha
  16. Juloo

    Juloo Member

    Although I don't have social phobia, I have had very good results with EFT on other issues. The manual is free. Unfortunately, it really IS easier to learn if you have someone knowledgeable lead you through this the first time around. That way you can learn how to rate yourself before and after the routine and learn to narrow down the parts of the phobia which are the worst and address those specifically.

    I think I read that you might consider hypnosis? If so, ask the hypnotherapist if they have EFT in their arsenal as well and if they can teach you how to use it effectively.

    But don't take that to mean you shouldn't try on your own -- at least it's free!
  17. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    from TXF.

  18. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    Why not ask your doctor for a few tablet of Tenormin? It is a Beta-Blocker, will slow your heart rate just a bit, and best of all, it blocks the effects of Adrenalin.

    Shhhh. I gave one of mine to my daughter in high school when she had to do some EXTENSIVE public speaking. It got her through it GREAT, no anxiety at all, and realized that if she was well prepared, that she was actually really GOOD at giving speeches. She was asked many times to give special presentations/power point, even after she graduated, that's how good she was.

    I gave her one a day or two before the actual day she would need it, so she/we would know how she would react to it. I know this is a BIG NO-NO, and NOONE should EVER give anyone else their Rx. drugs, but I did. And it went well. And she never had to use it again, she realized she did so well.

    But, I do understand your extreme anxiety, I am like that with bridges/heights. I was at my doctor on Thursday, for a few other issues, and asked him for something so I could drive over some really high/nasty bridges, without risking a full blown panic attack, so really, I understand.

    He gave me 5 tabs of Xanax, but I have NEVER taken an anti-anxiety drug, and am VERY hesitant to take it. I am thinking I will double up on my Tenormin, and do a trial going over a GREATLY feared bridge locally.

    Good luck with this, I REALLY FEEL YOUR PAIN.
  19. Rene

    Rene New Member

    Hi Thanks again for responding! Elliespad that is a good idea. I call the court this Thurs to see if I have to go in on Fri. Maybe I can get in to the drs.

    I am doing the breathing exercise so thank you for the help with that. I went and check into the EFT too. Don't really have time to get to a psychologist for hypnosis as the trial is coming fast.

    I'm still really scared. The DA says I can't be taped I have to go in. I am petrified.

    Mary, that is awful what happened to your daughter AND you. You had to go to two trial how awful. How did you guys face that creap?????????? How do you do that???? I think the creaps should have to be out of the room when you testify. What a nightmare.

    Rene[This Message was Edited on 06/25/2006]
  20. jhmitch

    jhmitch New Member

    Hi Rene!

    Like you, I absolutely can't do public speaking but did have to testify before a Grand Jury a couple of years back.

    My fears turned out to be a lot worse than the actual experience.

    Luckily, while I was on the stand, testifying, I happened to notice that one of the jurors had fallen asleep. If I was that boring to him, I figured no one else there was paying that much attention to me or my nervousness - LOL!

    Hang in there, Rene! You'll do a lot better than you expect.