Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mistress-o-pain, Mar 24, 2006.

  1. mistress-o-pain

    mistress-o-pain New Member

    Sometimes I wish I would have never won my SSD hearing! I have everyone I know calling and telling me they could use some money. Asking how much I will get back and when. I even had a freind tell me she needs a mini van (could be used) so that her kids could be taken places safely. I am going to explode!!! Even my own 73 year old mother is hitting me up daily. I told her I have to pay co pays for my surgeries that I have to have, but it doesn't matter. The other day I avoided everyones phone calls cause they are driving me batty! I have never taken money from anyone in the last three years I have been off work. Have you guys ever been through this part? What did you do? I am at a lose and just plain tired of any conversation going back to when and how much money I will get back. I have not given them an answer on this. I just feel like crawling in a hole. I am the sort that can't see people go with out and they know this. When I was working I worked a full and part time job so I could hand my mother money every two weeks and she would squander it. Please advise!
    Thank you!
  2. foggygirl

    foggygirl New Member are going to have a lot of expenses in your future. Put the money in CD's, a savings account...whatever, and tell them you don't 'have it' anymore. You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anyone else--it's your turn now. Were any of them there for you when YOU needed it? I don't mean to sound callous, because I've always helped people, but you are going to need that money--and don't feel guilty about it.

    Good luck.
  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    These people must think you won the lottery.

    If you don't take care of yourself, who will?
  4. pemaw54

    pemaw54 New Member

    either dont answer the phone,( we will talk to you),or tell them where to go!! I cant believe a mother would be asking for money from their child!! You are going to need every cent of the money and who knows what the future holds. Ive been trying for SS for 2 yrs now and nothing yet. YOu give me hope I will pray for you. It can be a good thing to get mad, and maybe that will help you keep your earned money.

  5. mollystwin

    mollystwin New Member

    I can't believe they would do that! Don't feel obligated to give your money away. You need this moneyto take care of yourself

  6. spiritsky

    spiritsky Member

    Politely tell them that you can't afford to give any money away. It's not that much and you'll need it for your own medical expenses.

    And don't discuss your finances with anybody. Don't tell anybody how much money you have or will receive. It's nobodies business, not even your monthers...

    And if they keep bugging you...tell them you want to talk about something else or ask them them to stop calling. The last thing you need is people who call themselves friends because they think they can get money from you. That's not the kind of support you need.

    I know...saying no for some people doesn't come naturally. You want to be a good friend and generous to everyone. I was one of them. But when you start, it gets easier.

    Good luck.
  7. Toga

    Toga Member

    Tell them you are paying past due bills and its all gone and then ask them if they could spare a little for you.

    Then do whatever is best for you and your future with the money.

  8. Jordane

    Jordane New Member

    They should be celebrating for you.Not trying to find out how much $$ to get out of you.
    Stand your ground,you dont owe anybody but yourself !!!
    If they were your true friends they wouldnt even ask.
    Take Care,
  9. wildflowers2

    wildflowers2 New Member

    **Always remember YOU are number ONE!

    YOU come first.

    YOU do things for YOURSELF.

    YOU have the right to say NO!

  10. mistress-o-pain

    mistress-o-pain New Member

    You guys have awesome advise. If I didn't have to go back to SSD in two years I think I would just move. Now my boyfriend wants me to marry him. ARGH! He asked if they (SS)would be less opt to give me SSD at the two years when I go back if we would. I don't know! I wish I was an ostrich!
  11. kdeenak

    kdeenak New Member

    I guess I am confused. I always thought people who got SSD didn't get a great deal of money, they basically got enough to live on, if that much.

    I guess I don't understand the outpouring of people thinking you are made of money all of the sudden. Scavangers is a perfect word for it.

    I would definitely watch my back. If someone asks you again about the money, I would just tell them I don't want to talk about it. If they persist, ask, "Why are you so interested in this?" If they have the nerve, I would too!!

    You didn't take these people to raise!!


  12. deb06

    deb06 New Member

    I just go disability and back pay after fighting for years. I have only told certain people. If you tell the wrong people they can be resentful and even jealous. If they were in our shoes for one day they would understand things better.

    Tell them the money was spent before you even got it, and that every penny goes out from the small check you get each month.

    Then ask them if you can borrow a few dollars......!!!!!

    Love, Deb

    P>S Unbeleivable people.....

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