Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by budmickl, Aug 24, 2007.

  1. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    Well, I made one of the hardest phone calls today. I called a temporary agency about finding work. I don't know why this is so upsetting to me. I started crying on the phone with the people. My financial situation is not bad, it's dire.

    I hope I can do this.

  2. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    What a trooper you are! I can imagine having to make such a call, and I think I'd cry, too.

    Just hang in there...I will pray that this will work for you...a good job that will fit your situation.

    My best to you.

  3. mollystwin

    mollystwin New Member

    Hang in there! I wish you the best of luck in finding a job that will work for you!!!

  4. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    Thanks for the words of encouragement. I just didn't think it would be so upsetting to just start looking for a job.

    Depression can make a person react funny, I guess.

  5. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I know it is silly to get so upset over just calling and setting up an appointment for temp work. But I just feel like such a failure.

    Another day, another post about those feelings though.

    Thanks to each of you for your encouragement. I really need it!

    I go in Monday morning and she said that they could probably have me working temp on Tuesday while looking for full time permanent employment. That will be a nice feeling.

  6. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    It is a battle, isn't it?

    You will do very well Monday...we will all be praying for you and for the perfect situation.

    Glad Elaine chimed in...she's in the midst of this, too.

    You two go!

    And, get plenty of rest and relaxation this weekend. Need your eyes to be bright and shiny! (-:

  7. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I don't know why I'm so upset.

    Maybe it's because I have wasted 4 yrs since I was downsized. 4 yrs that I have lost my confidence, self-esteem. 4 yrs of wasted money and time doing nothing. I just seem to never be able to do what I know is the right thing to do. I find excuses for what I either am doing or not doing.

    Friday when I called the temp agency, it all just hit me that I am now in a position where I have to do whatever is tossed to me in order to make it.

    I should be in a great state of mind - my sister than has depended solely on me for 3 yrs to take her and her daughter to doctor and hospital appointments finally got her licenses back on Friday. Due to her epilepsy and car wrecks, the state revoked her licenses. After having brain surgery in Oct 2006, the seizures stopped and the doctor gave his opinion that is was safe for her to drive again.

    I am feeling to pressure of knowing I have to go tell strangers what I can do for them to help their business. I don't think I can do anything special to them. If I had that valuable to a company, I wouldn't have been the one 'downsized'.

    I'm sorry, this is not really for the chit chat board. It's for the feeling sorry for myself board. And the 'I'm scared of starting all over again' board.

  8. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    You are doing fine, I appreciate the advice and encouragement from everyone.

    I just gotta get myself up and going in life again. I have let my 'depression' be my excused for everything the last few years. It's time for me to own up to my shortcoming and make the necessary changes to be a human again. Not some whining, crying, babbler.

    I am smacking myself around as I type. I know I can do a good tomorrow, I know it will be hard to get back into the swing of things, working every day, but it's something I can do.

    Keep on with the good words and nudges, I need them right now and they are getting through!

  9. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I did read your post on FM board about your dad. My dad wasn't a man to go to for guidance. For him it was black or white. He is a good man, just not an intuitive man.

    I am going to head to bed early tonight and hopefully get to sleep before 2:00 AM so I won't be yawning during the whole meeting tomorrow.

    I read a lot on the FM/CFS board because there is depression on that board too. I find a lot of words of wisdom there.

  10. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    How did it go?

    Been praying for you.

  11. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I made it to the temp agency, I printed off a crappy resume and put the wrong date on all the forms. Other than that, I guess it went OK.

    I am going on a 'fun' one day assignment tomorrow. Something to do with balloons at the Hallmark warehouse. It'll be fun to see what it is.

    The agency gave me a web page for doing skills testing at home. If you guys are interested in it, we can met on the chat site and figure something out.

    One word of advice that the lady gave me was... don't stop your own search. She said that they will do whatever they can to help place me, but there are opportunities out there that I shouldn't ignore just because I signed on with them. I thought that was pretty nice. Not trying to make themselves exclusive to my service.

    So anyway, 3 stress pills later, I made it through it and rewarded myself by going to the cheesecake place and getting vanilla and chocolate cake. The mini cakes that I cut and freeze.

    Thanks to everyone.

  12. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    Just wanted to let you know I'll be thinking about you! Great for you for taking charge and going back to work.

    Depression is a real illness like anything else, so PLEASE don't be hard on yourself. It's okay to be human. I admire you for taking such a big step. Be sure to pace yourself, and try to have some fun too!

    Warm hugs, Erika

    [This Message was Edited on 08/27/2007]