Yesterday I went to my Doctor's, I had some more blood tests done, just to see what would happen. But I'm not anemic, I don't have hypothyroidism, and my cholesterol is great. Those test results didn't surprise me, but I did agree to try an antidepressant. And for the first time, in the 8 years I've had cfs, I doubted myself. I thought, what if I really am crazy? what if all of this is actually in my head? what would that mean.. I mean could I have imagined the nausea, the dizziness, vertigo, headaches..well you know..all the dozens of weird and unexplainable symptoms. Could I actually be causing the disabling fatigue? Body pain, sore throats ect. Why all of a sudden am I filled with all of this doubt? Maybe it's how he looks at me, with a look of concern and pity. I think I felt ashamed. But why now? Maybe it's because my Mom is terminally ill, and I should be able to snap out of this and be a better caregiver. I just don't know. Talk to me friends, I feel..scared.