Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by budmickl, Dec 21, 2007.

  1. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I was just talking to my mom about my BIL's grandmother dying.

    Apparently the woman was very vain and didn't want a viewing of her body because she was so wrinkled.

    At the end of her life, as she was taking her last breathes, the wrinkles started disappearing. BIL's mom and the granny's current husband saw it happening.

    The undertake called later and said that all the wrinkles had dissappeared and there was no work he needed to do, as the granny had requested.

    How would this happen? It would seem to me, that as life leaves the body, it would deflate because of oxygen and fluids leaving the body?

    Just wondering if there are any undertakers or medical people who can explain this?

  2. justjanelle

    justjanelle New Member

    as an aide while I was in college. So I did, unfortunately, get some experience in seeing elderly people pass on.

    I disagree with your theory that the body would deflate at death due to oxygen and fluids leaving the body. The oxygen that would leave the body would be only the air in the lungs. The oxygen in the bloodstream would remain exactly where it was, as would the blood that contained it. Other fluids leaving the body? I can only think of one (out of probably a dozen deaths while I was on staff) that involved any other fluids leaving the body, and that was the case of a person who had some kind of a seizure and died; this person did lose control of their urinary function as a result of the seizure/death. But that wouldn't lead to any more "deflation" than all of us deal with several times a day.

    My thoughts are that maybe the wrinkles tend to lessen when the muscles beneath the skin relax at the time of death. Have you ever noticed how people look younger when they're sleeping? The muscles are relaxed.

    At least that's my idea. Maybe someone else has a better answer for you.

    Best wishes,
  3. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    Great theory! I never thought of the muscles relaxing.

    Thanks for the information.

    I was sort of kidding about the fluids and oxygen effects in that I know they really wouldn't effect the body post-death. But I really don't know much of the dying and death process.

  4. sisland

    sisland New Member

    You bring up an interesting point!,,,,,My Mom passed away with alhzimers,,,during the course of her decline with this dieases you could see her face in a contracted painful position for a long time,,,,

    But when she passed away her facial apperance turned back to the (Normal relaxed smileing position),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i remember thinking that ,,,Wow! she looked so at peace and Beautiful!,,,,,,The face i remembered before she became ill!,,,,,The muscle relax has to be the answer!,,,,,Sis
  5. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I have made it clear to my kids and family that when I die, if there is a burial (donating organs, science and/or cremation), I <b>ABSOLUTELY</b> do not want my hands shown.

    In the last few years, as I have attended visitations and services, I have noticed how horrible the hands look. I know it is vain but I can't help it.

    Wouldn't the hand muscles relax also?

  6. bevy2most

    bevy2most New Member

    to motuary science school, so I called her to ask her this question, her response is if the person were embalmed, the embalming fluid coagulates to protien, which causes the skin to appear firmer, I hope this isn't too much information, I told her that I could use a little embalming fluid around my eyes....she also said that death varies from person to person, as it does in life.
  7. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    My Daddy had been sick for a while and his face started looking so old and harsh. I was when him when he took his last breath. As others said such a beautiful, peaceful look came on his face and it looked like he was smiling.

    I do agree about the hands, his hands look awful and I can remember my Momma's hands as well as others.

  8. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    For your great responses.

    I know it was a morbid question, kind of. But it is so interesting to learn more about the body once death occurs.

    Happy Holidays to everyone!

  9. sisland

    sisland New Member

    I have 1 more question,,,,Does anyone think that if the person has a very peaceful and content look on their face it's because they have passed on to a heavenly place?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Just wondering!,,,,

    This is just my opinion on the older looking hands ,,,,,but it seems they have less flesh on them than the face!,,,so maybe thats why they stay the same!,,,,,,,,,,S
  10. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    I personally don't want anybody viewing my dead body. I'm will no longer be there, and i want people to remember my alive not dead.

    I find open caskets bizare, I will request my family cremate my body and scatter my ashes to the four winds. My soul/spirit will be free from the bonds of this body, and home at last!

  11. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I have told everyone that I want either flowers over my hands, or a blanket.

    There will be so much stuff in the casket with me, there probably won't be any room to worry about my hands!

    Right now, I have 2 dogs ashes and and 2 dogs that are still living that I want buried or cremated with me. Then I want my favorite pig with me.

    And hopefully by the time I die, my girls and I will have made up and have a family portrait done and a copy of that with me.

    The last few funerals that I have been to, it has been a celebration of the lives of the people. Great photos, keepsakes, their favorite music playing (not church music). I guess I better put in the request for Bob Seger, the Eagles and Carly Simon now!


  12. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    They put pretty white gloves on my grandmother at her funeral. I thought that was nice.

  13. Khalyal

    Khalyal New Member

    That's what I prefer to think.

  14. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    Gloves are a great idea! Our grandparents were of the generation who wore gloves and hats. It seems so fitting!

  15. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Had beautiful skin, even at 92 when she died. The mortician said everyone was talking about her skin.

    I just wanted to say that I was with her when she died and she threw out her hands as though seeing people she hadn't seen in years. The look of pure joy on her face has given me comfort ever since. None of us die alone. Our loved ones come for us from the Other Side. I'm sure of it. Also, people with NDE's have described this and how beautiful it is there. I do not fear death. I don't have a death wish but I do look forward to seeing my loved ones, especially my Mother and the child I lost to miscarriage, when it's time for me to go home.

    I read, "90 Minutes In Heaven," and I highly recommend it. It's actually more about this man's struggle after returning to life and his faith than it is about Heaven. It is a very inspirational book.

    Love, Mikie
  16. sisland

    sisland New Member

    posts on this!,,,Mikie,,,thanks for the book recomendation!,,,sounds very interesting!,,,My Mom also lost a baby,,,and Never got over it!,,,I know she's in Heaven with her and all the family members who passed on before her,,,,,,,,,,,S
  17. victoria

    victoria New Member

    I was with my MIL when she died, there was no change in face etc... even tho her breathing had been very labored the last 12 hours of her life. Wish it'd been obvious if she'd seemed to have 'seen' good things, but, her dementia was from multiple mini-strokes, so I think her mind was long gone by the end... altho we still talked to her as one never knows.

    I know someone who had a near-death experience, he 'saw' things about his future; he says that every thing has come true...

    but I know there are some (who are not serial killers or anything) who experience very bad near-death experiences that are quite lastingly traumatic; in which case I'd rather believe it's just a neurochemical thing, not reality from beyond...
  18. budmickl

    budmickl New Member

    I hope that's true too! I was pretty happy in life and looks back then!

  19. greygodess

    greygodess New Member

    On my mother's birthday, I stopped in on my way to my afternoon job to visit her. My dad had been out golfing and got there shortly before I left. As I was walking down the sidewalk to my car my dad came to the door and said, "Hold up. You don't have to get to work that fast." Then he came running down the steps, grabbed my wrist, kissed me on the cheek, and said goodbye. All of this unusual. Later that night my husband came in to my work to tell me that my dad had died. He died at home watching golf. I don't know how he knew something was going to happen, but from his unusual goodbye, it seems he did. Godbless

  20. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    I've experienced many death's in my family.

    When my 19 y/o brother died, in 1977, my parent's and I were so bereft. Of coure.

    My parent's started the local chapter of the "Compassionate Friends" who deal with those whose children have died. One book was suggested to my parent to make sure and read.

    It by Elizabeth Kubler Ross, very well known for her extensive research of dying and death. Her thoughts are, that we all know, in our very deep concious, when we will die. It doesn't scare us, because we have no idea.

    I know my 19 w/o brother did 'out of ordinary' thing's the day he died. Thing's my parent's had to constantly remind him of! LOL For the first time in year's, Kevin and I sat around, on Saturday morning, with our 6 year old little brother and watched morning cartoons. It will always be a very fond, and bittersweet moment for me. This was in 1977.

    In 1984, my daughter, who was only 3, went for a visit to my Granny Dot's. She adored Elizabeth. She was the first and only greatchild, my grandmother ever had. I and DD had kissed and hugged her before leaving. As we headed for the door, I walked back over for another hug.

    We were walking out the door when she said, "Remember how much I love you both, my darling's". The next day there was a horrid fire in her apartment. She spent the next month in a burn unit, and died due to complications. I cherish that afternoon, and feel blessed I received my extra hug. I believe she somehow knew,but not consciously.

    I've had other friend's and loved one's, who on looking back, had life changes that seemed ordinary at the time. Not afterwards, though.

    What a wonderful book. I believe she's on to something here.