Severely depressed boyfriend. Need help!

Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by ashtonsmom, Dec 4, 2004.

  1. ashtonsmom

    ashtonsmom New Member

    This past September, by boyfriend was diagnosed with malignant melanoma and almost instantly became depressed. His depression symptoms worsed when he began treatment for the cancer.
    My boyfriend has a history of depression and anxiety over the last 5 years and has previously been treated with Zoloft and Paxil. He currently is on no anti-depressants because of the cancer treatments.
    I love him dearly and want to help him as much as I can. But most of the time he is so frustrated over little things in his day to day life that he either cries or speaks only of how the cancer will someday result in his demise.
    I have been more supportive and caring than anyone could expect. I usually just listen non-judgementally and allow him to cry while I hold him. I have been helping him with things around the house, like cleaning, paying bills, etc. Like I said, I truly love him and want more than anything for him to be the caring, loving man he once was.
    Because of my love for him, I have learned all I can about cancer and depression, sometimes spending entire weekends on the internet researching, but it seems like no matter what I try that our relationship feels like it's crumbling from the stress of depression.
    He really isn't the same as one might expect. He is often irritable, shows very little regard for me and my feelings and I often feel as if he doen't care for me anymore. I know these actions of because of the depression but here is my question...
    Is it okay for me to express to him my feelings? I want to tell him how much I miss the emotional part of our relationship and how much I miss HIM. I, however, am scared that he will feel to blame or that I may say the wrong thing.
    I feel right now I need to tell him how I feel, but I just don't know if I should or if it will make him worse.
    The next question I have is if it is fine for me to discuss my feelings with him, how should I do it? Like I said, I am very supportive and kind to him and I'm not sure what to say without further hurting him.
    Any advice or help would be truly appreciated. Thank you.