sexual function in women with fms

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Suzianna, Jan 11, 2007.

  1. Suzianna

    Suzianna Guest

    Hi, I just read the article re sexual funtion in women with fibro. I'm not really sure how I feel about this article because personally, it seems like there are so many factors to consider with this illness. Physical psychological emotional. Then there is all the stuff of trying to function in a relationship, with kids, without, is your partner understanding? How was the relationship before diagnosis? I know that all these factors play a HUGE role in how I function sexually living with fms.
    How about some more info on how to cope with NO libido & a partner who doesn't really get it?
    Suzianna
  2. tandy

    tandy New Member

    Wish I had good news to offer to this post.

    I'm in the same boat,..... Its too much "work" to even have sex. and the desire is pretty much gone.

    Although I will say that when I do have relations with my mate I feel way more connected/closer to him.
    And I think everyone needs that right?

    This DD (Fibro) has wrecked my drive!
    I never ever had a problem in that area before FM.
    We had a good healthy sex life.
    (every 2-3 nights) too many details? LOL
    :)
    now its about every 10 days~
    He's understanding for the most part,...
    but there are times when he sulks/acts mad.
    I guess I don't blame him.
    I blame Fibro,...He blames me. or so it seems that way at times.
    Just wanted to let ya know your not alone.

    Hope this helps in some small way~
    Hugs
    Tandy
  3. abcanada

    abcanada New Member

    I'll add my situation & maybe that would help you. You're not alone. I got sick after having 4 kids, so for me it is a combo of exhaustion, time, overall body pain & chronic migraines. I'm 32, so age is still on my side. Interestingly I have the desire, but such a lack of energy which tends to over ride that. I never used to be a solid sleeper, but now fall asleep very quickly & sleep deeply. I do not have pain during sex, other than a general over all body & joint ache. For that reason I feel I would be doing our relationship no favors by not making sure his needs are met-within reason. Even though I'm not capable of many things, I feel this takes little effort on my part. It makes me feel closer & more connected to him as well. I've learned over the last 2 years, my hubby really only has 2 major needs in life....love & food! haha...as many men I'm sure. I think if you can tune into his needs & try to make sure those basic ones are met he'll be a happy man. This is coming from someone who is bed ridden most of the time due to pain. Your situation may be worse than mine, so I do believe it is so individual. I recently put a TV in our room so we could get some extra cuddle time in. Good Luck, Laura
    PS It took me awhile to figure this out, and to realize that even though I'm sick the world can't stop
  4. tngirl

    tngirl New Member

    From what I've read on this board, sexual intimacy is a problem with many. Not only because of the physical pain but also sometimes because we may feel our emotional needs are not being met so that sure doesn't encourage sexual relations.

    For me, I still enjoy sex but my husband's libido has dropped. He only wants to have sex about once every 4 to 6 weeks. He says not to take it personally, he just has no desire, but it's hard for me not to let it hurt my feelings.

    We have gone as long as 8 or 9 weeks without it. It is not painful for me and I actually feel almost pain free afterwards for a while. I guess it really gets those endorphens surging!

    I don't have all the answers. Sustaining a relationship is very hard. I've been married 26 years and neither of us is the person we used to be! My husband is not a very affectionate person. I don't doubt that he loves and is committed to me. He sort of has a one track mind and has his on agenda to accomplish during the day. I would like to spend more time with him.

    [This Message was Edited on 01/12/2007]
  5. JewelRA

    JewelRA New Member

    Yes, I really struggle with this too. It's a combination of my medical conditions, my medications (antidepressants really wipe out libido!) and the pain and fatigue of course. Then, like others mentioned, the emotional and psychological issues. Also, I have the added fear of intercourse since a year and a half ago I had spinal stress fractures. OUchie! Getting in the mood is a struggle for me to say the least.

    I have to really psyche myself up and even "force" myself at first in order to meet my husband's needs. But I ALWAYS find that I end up benefitting from it as well. I always feel more relaxed and close to my hubby afterward. And he is (usually) understanding about certain things that cause me more pain than others.

    It's a very difficult balance but worth making an effort in order to preserve your marriage!

    Julie
    [This Message was Edited on 01/12/2007]
  6. Mini4Me

    Mini4Me New Member

    What's sex? (Oh, right, I do have one 27 year old daughter, so I did do it at least once in my 31 years of marriage!)
    LOL
    Mini
  7. Andrea4

    Andrea4 New Member

    Does anyone worry about infidelity due to lack of intimacy? Seems like the talks shows and magazines say to keep your sex life constant or a partner could go find it elsewhere. I guess if your marriage is stable and your spouse/significant other is supportive, you wouldn't have that worry.
  8. AllWXRider

    AllWXRider New Member

    I did see a posting on the Yahoo Adult metal chelation site that a lady started chelating and surprise, surprise her libido switch got turned on!

  9. Suzianna

    Suzianna Guest

    Hi there, allwxrider! I'd be really interested in that info on chelation. Could you pass it on to this poor old limp chick?
    Cheers, Suzianna
    [This Message was Edited on 01/12/2007]
  10. AllWXRider

    AllWXRider New Member

    You should start with a Hair Analysis. I got mine from 1to1vitamins. Dr. Cinque can help you interpret the results.

    There is a Yahoo forum group called Adult Metal Chelation. These ppl are great and reference lots of stuff. Depending on what toxic metals are found, then the right chelators can be recommended. The hair analysis also looks at some good minerals. M.D. will scoff at hair analysis but detectives use it in Forensic science investigations all the time.

    Let your hubby know to offer hope. Hope keeps us going.
  11. wish_to_be_healthy

    wish_to_be_healthy New Member