Sexual problems and meds. Please help!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hurts2003, Aug 25, 2003.

  1. hurts2003

    hurts2003 New Member

    I've been married for a long time. I always had a stronger sex drive than my husband before I got FM. We used to get into arguements about having sex(I wanted to & he didn't). I was put on amitriptyline and lost a lot of my sex drive. It actually put us on level terms as for as sex was concerned. 2 mths. ago I came off the med and it really made a difference in my sex drive. We have been really enjoying the past few weeks if you know what I mean. LOL.
    Now I've been on Trazodone since last Wednesday. I think it has increased my sex drive even more. After a very enjoyable time with my hubby last night, he told me I looked happier than i had in 4 yrs. I busted out crying. I'm scared he is making love to me out of pitty rather than because he really wants me. I tryed to talk to him about it because I don't want things to go back to the argueing like it used to be. (Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all the time. We really have a strong marriage but every marriage has a few problems.)
    I'm scared if I keep coming on to him to strongly then he may feel pressured and grow to resent it after time. I don't want to push it but I really enjoy the sexual time together. He really knows how to make me feel good and take my mind off of all the pain and missery that comes with FM. He has really stuck by me through the good days & the bad. I love him so much. he's working out of town on Monday nights and I miss him so much tonight.
    I don't feel comfortable talking to any of my friends about my sex life. We are both christians and go to church every sunday.(He's a Deacon) I have learned alot since I found this board a few weeks ago. Please give me yopur opinions and advice about what to do. Should I back off? He usually don't initiate sex because he dosn't want to hurt me if I don't feel up to it. Or should I enjoy the goodtimes while they last and hope the med dosn't change reactions on me. I haven't taken enough of it to ease all the pain but I sure feel more entergetic and loving.
    I'M SORRY I'M GOING ON & ON. I JUST NEED TO VENT.
  2. todayisagift

    todayisagift New Member

    I don't know if cost is a problem to you but try Avilmil- www.avlimil.com I am trying it right now you are supposed to take it for about 5 weeks or so to see effects it sends blood flow to the vaginal area, loosens your muscles in that region, enhances stimulation etc. If you sign up for managed care where you get it every month for 35 you will get it before you run out every month and they charge it for you. If not it is really pricey. I am willing to try it because SSRI's have been awful to me. And wellbutrin, buspar none have helped. Avlimil is an herb supplement by the way not a prescription. I think some doctors are giving out free samples now. Hope you are helped by something, and Ihope this helps me too
  3. tnnanatx

    tnnanatx New Member

    opposite. I've never had a strong sex drive but my husband does. I'm on several meds and one is trazodone. I have no desire for sex it makes me mad for my husband to touch me. I'm afraid he's gonna get tired of the no's. This DD has made life a living hell.
  4. hurts2003

    hurts2003 New Member

    I'm not complaining with the Trazadone so far. I just hope after I get more in my system that it don't kill my sex drive like the amitrip did. My Dr. tried me on Paxil also. I took it for 4 nights and flushed it. I think the trazodone will be OK. It helps me rest at night and I don't feel really druged the next morning. The pain is starting to dull in my back. Dr. told me that it would take a few weeks to get in system and start working.
    I guess I shouldn't complain if it helps me sleep, dulls the pain, and gives me a stronger sex drive too. Thanks for the response.
  5. Pindooca

    Pindooca New Member

    ... your husband having sex with you out of "pity." You are a very lucky woman. He is kind enough not to push you and considers your physical well-being. That puts him worlds above most husbands in that department (mine for sure! I could be bleeding out my eyes and he'd want to do it).

    That being said, I have a low sex drive. I do often have sex with my husband when I don't really want to. I never think that I'm doing it out of pity though; it's out of LOVE. You are loved, dear. Enjoy it.
  6. wle

    wle New Member

    ............a very low sex drive. This has not always been the case though. Will try the herb suggested and see if that helps at all. Hubby will love that...WLE
  7. Susan07

    Susan07 New Member

    I vote you enjoy these good times and try not to overthink what is happening. Maybe ya'll could talk about taking turns initiating sex. That way you'll be sure you aren't going overboard. After you've initiated then let him know he has to initiate the next time. Sounds to me like he's more than ready this time around. Also let him know that when you have sex even if you were feeling bad you will most likely end up feeling better because of the release of tension. Good luck, I know this can be a hard topic to discuss with a spouse!
  8. scoobydoo

    scoobydoo New Member

    I to am trying Avlimil also. Been on it about a week now, nothing so far but it's still to soon to tell. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I miss that closeness with my husband. He's very understanding with all this but I still feel guilty about it......and everything else!! LOL

    (((((((HUGS)))))))

    Scoobydoo
  9. hurts2003

    hurts2003 New Member

    We had a long talk last night about the changes that I'm going through after he talked alot about his new job(2 1/2 mths). Job talk may sound boring but he has also been going through a lot these last few yrs. He had shoulder surgery 3 times and was out of work. He's got a new job now he really likes.
    He pointed out to me that not only had I changed sexually but that we now talk to one another more, I meet him at the door with a big kiss every evening when he gets home, & I just seem to be so happy now. HE LIKES THE CHANGE. He told me that if I got to wild for him to handle in bed that he would let me know. (HA HA)
    I guess you were all right - I didn't have a problem after all. I am going to just forget about the 'pity' and enjoy him when I can.